[fic] but i'm just the donut guy (2/3?)
fic: but i'm just the donut guy (2/3?)
fandom: noona-verse (btvs, infinite, miss a, beg, spn)
pairing: hoya/jia, sungjong/minha, ensemble
word count: ~1000
summary: a lot can happen when you're dating a slayer. hoya was perfectly content just being the stay-at-home-dad-guy, the donut guy, but the universe intervened. much to sungjong's eternal amusement.
[previously on...]
Hoya spent the majority of that day living in blissful and complete denial. There seemed to be an odd taste of fur lingering in his mouth and a few times he caught Sungjong muttering darkly about bunny rabbits, but falling asleep in the middle of the woods while in the middle of patrolling was bound to leave some after-effects.
Maybe Southern California just tastes like uncooked rabbit meat at night in the summer.
He’d never been camping before. There was no way to prove or disprove that theory. Or, at least, it was no less crazy than Sungjong’s malevolent theory.
Which was obviously an elaborate prank.
Unfortunately, Sungjong was so personally devoted to this particular prank (after waking Hoya up at five in the morning in the middle of the woods) that Hoya decided to pick up that extra shift with the weekend crew since he knew Xander was a little short-handed lately. Around 10 he had to turn off his phone because the constant haranguing from Sungjong was just getting ridiculous.
While at work with the refreshingly down-to-earth weekend crew, men with three year olds or living in their mom’s basement or working on their degree in mechanical engineering or just wanting the extra cash, who knew they lived in a weird town but pegged everything to gang turf wars and weird home-grown drugs (guess that century with a demon for a mayor really instilled a deep sense of avoidance in the local population) (that Hoya was in no way emulating). There was no discussion of demons or vampires or primordial beings or Slayers. Just guys hanging out in the sun being guys.
The weekend crew only worked from 4-12 (no one really minded that Hoya popped in a couple hours late) so afterwards Xander drove them to pick up some truly disgustingly greasy tacos for the girls at the Magic Box for lunch.
Where Sungjong and his leggy girlfriend were lying in wait.
He dodged them by throwing a bag of tacos at Minha - who dug in happily and flapped away Sungjong’s whispered admonitions with her hand, force-feeding him some chips and allowing Hoya to duck into the training room and do a few rounds of kick-boxing with Jia.
He was getting better at not dying and she was getting better at her form - according to Sungyeol who had picked up a taekwondo class and was dragging Myungsoo along with him as much as he could. Hoya wasn’t really sure how a month of taekwondo classes made Sungyeol an expert on kickboxing, but Jia and Buffy nodded very solemnly whenever he came into the training room with pointers. (Hoya believed they were humoring him, but everyone was being a bit more gentle with Sungyeol and Woohyun lately so that wasn’t all that weird. He just hoped this wouldn’t all go to their heads.)
Also - and Hoya was pretty open about this part - the post-workout, middle of the afternoon shower sex was probably his favorite part about this whole ‘I’m a Slayer’ thing that was happening with his girlfriend.
Which meant that most of his day was pretty Sungjong-free. Work, workout with Jia, shower sex and a nap, and then it was nearly six o’clock and the question came: patrol tonight or lay around in the apartment / make dinner for when Jia came home / help the kids with whatever project they were working on?
There was a disturbing amount of glitter in the girls’ living room and the threat of Sungjong and Minha waiting to pounce him with their prank in his, so Hoya was doubly glad when one of the guys from the dance team asked to use the studio set aside for Dongwoo and Hoya that night. Dongwoo had made waves in the small UC Sunnydale dance department and he was offered a scholarship shortly after the recital earlier this year - that one where Dawn passed out and then rewrote reality in her dream with the help of Her. One of the perks was that Dongwoo had his own practice studio. It was small, but air conditioned and sound-proof so they could practice at any time and not disturb anyone. Since Dongwoo had been more absent lately than not, Hoya had offered the studio up to other dancers who wanted some private practice time (quietly, they were still doing their best not to alert the administration to Dongwoo’s absences).
Hoya kissed Jia good luck on monster-slaying and she pinched his butt playfully as he walked away.
He arrived at the dance studio just as twilight was starting to break in the distance and found in the studio one very pissed off Sungjong.
For the sake of argument - and since Sungjong had gone through all the trouble of setting up a camera in the highest corner of the room with a motion sensor (fucking kid was a genius and Hoya would never get used to it) and providing Hoya with a pillow and sleeping pad - he figured, might as well let himself get punk’d and then this whole practical joke would be over in the morning and he could go back to being donut guy who had afternoon sex with his girlfriend and maybe was thinking about being an architecture major. Minha looked bored and restless, which to Hoya meant this game Sungjong was playing would be over as quickly as it had started. So he drank the chocolate milk Minha handed him with a smile (not realizing that there was a heavy sedative in it, though really he should have guessed) and curled up on his mat to sleep.
Once, just a few weeks back, Jia had teasingly suggested that they film themselves having sex. The only thing more uncomfortable than watching oneself have sex, Hoya learned the next morning, was watching yourself - in the company of a very self-satisfied teen and a very bored immortal creature - go through a complete physical metamorphosis.
Luckily, the sedative Minha had cooked up was more than a little supernatural, so he was pretty much just a very fluffy looking sleeping mound on the floor the entire night (We figured you didn’t want to like… destroy the studio or anything), but there was no denying it now.
Lee Howon was a werewolf.
fandom: noona-verse (btvs, infinite, miss a, beg, spn)
pairing: hoya/jia, sungjong/minha, ensemble
word count: ~1000
summary: a lot can happen when you're dating a slayer. hoya was perfectly content just being the stay-at-home-dad-guy, the donut guy, but the universe intervened. much to sungjong's eternal amusement.
[previously on...]
Hoya spent the majority of that day living in blissful and complete denial. There seemed to be an odd taste of fur lingering in his mouth and a few times he caught Sungjong muttering darkly about bunny rabbits, but falling asleep in the middle of the woods while in the middle of patrolling was bound to leave some after-effects.
Maybe Southern California just tastes like uncooked rabbit meat at night in the summer.
He’d never been camping before. There was no way to prove or disprove that theory. Or, at least, it was no less crazy than Sungjong’s malevolent theory.
Which was obviously an elaborate prank.
Unfortunately, Sungjong was so personally devoted to this particular prank (after waking Hoya up at five in the morning in the middle of the woods) that Hoya decided to pick up that extra shift with the weekend crew since he knew Xander was a little short-handed lately. Around 10 he had to turn off his phone because the constant haranguing from Sungjong was just getting ridiculous.
While at work with the refreshingly down-to-earth weekend crew, men with three year olds or living in their mom’s basement or working on their degree in mechanical engineering or just wanting the extra cash, who knew they lived in a weird town but pegged everything to gang turf wars and weird home-grown drugs (guess that century with a demon for a mayor really instilled a deep sense of avoidance in the local population) (that Hoya was in no way emulating). There was no discussion of demons or vampires or primordial beings or Slayers. Just guys hanging out in the sun being guys.
The weekend crew only worked from 4-12 (no one really minded that Hoya popped in a couple hours late) so afterwards Xander drove them to pick up some truly disgustingly greasy tacos for the girls at the Magic Box for lunch.
Where Sungjong and his leggy girlfriend were lying in wait.
He dodged them by throwing a bag of tacos at Minha - who dug in happily and flapped away Sungjong’s whispered admonitions with her hand, force-feeding him some chips and allowing Hoya to duck into the training room and do a few rounds of kick-boxing with Jia.
He was getting better at not dying and she was getting better at her form - according to Sungyeol who had picked up a taekwondo class and was dragging Myungsoo along with him as much as he could. Hoya wasn’t really sure how a month of taekwondo classes made Sungyeol an expert on kickboxing, but Jia and Buffy nodded very solemnly whenever he came into the training room with pointers. (Hoya believed they were humoring him, but everyone was being a bit more gentle with Sungyeol and Woohyun lately so that wasn’t all that weird. He just hoped this wouldn’t all go to their heads.)
Also - and Hoya was pretty open about this part - the post-workout, middle of the afternoon shower sex was probably his favorite part about this whole ‘I’m a Slayer’ thing that was happening with his girlfriend.
Which meant that most of his day was pretty Sungjong-free. Work, workout with Jia, shower sex and a nap, and then it was nearly six o’clock and the question came: patrol tonight or lay around in the apartment / make dinner for when Jia came home / help the kids with whatever project they were working on?
There was a disturbing amount of glitter in the girls’ living room and the threat of Sungjong and Minha waiting to pounce him with their prank in his, so Hoya was doubly glad when one of the guys from the dance team asked to use the studio set aside for Dongwoo and Hoya that night. Dongwoo had made waves in the small UC Sunnydale dance department and he was offered a scholarship shortly after the recital earlier this year - that one where Dawn passed out and then rewrote reality in her dream with the help of Her. One of the perks was that Dongwoo had his own practice studio. It was small, but air conditioned and sound-proof so they could practice at any time and not disturb anyone. Since Dongwoo had been more absent lately than not, Hoya had offered the studio up to other dancers who wanted some private practice time (quietly, they were still doing their best not to alert the administration to Dongwoo’s absences).
Hoya kissed Jia good luck on monster-slaying and she pinched his butt playfully as he walked away.
He arrived at the dance studio just as twilight was starting to break in the distance and found in the studio one very pissed off Sungjong.
For the sake of argument - and since Sungjong had gone through all the trouble of setting up a camera in the highest corner of the room with a motion sensor (fucking kid was a genius and Hoya would never get used to it) and providing Hoya with a pillow and sleeping pad - he figured, might as well let himself get punk’d and then this whole practical joke would be over in the morning and he could go back to being donut guy who had afternoon sex with his girlfriend and maybe was thinking about being an architecture major. Minha looked bored and restless, which to Hoya meant this game Sungjong was playing would be over as quickly as it had started. So he drank the chocolate milk Minha handed him with a smile (not realizing that there was a heavy sedative in it, though really he should have guessed) and curled up on his mat to sleep.
Once, just a few weeks back, Jia had teasingly suggested that they film themselves having sex. The only thing more uncomfortable than watching oneself have sex, Hoya learned the next morning, was watching yourself - in the company of a very self-satisfied teen and a very bored immortal creature - go through a complete physical metamorphosis.
Luckily, the sedative Minha had cooked up was more than a little supernatural, so he was pretty much just a very fluffy looking sleeping mound on the floor the entire night (We figured you didn’t want to like… destroy the studio or anything), but there was no denying it now.
Lee Howon was a werewolf.