[fic] behind the scenes in the Noona-verse
for Lauren
insight into events preceeding Sunnydale
[cuddles beneath the cut]Lee Howon was bone tired. exhausted in his marrow down between his toes. there was nothing he wouldn't give for a steaming hot shower and a nice long nap somewhere cool and crisp and clean.
but southeast asia wasn't suited for such dreams. the water was room temperature, room temperature was a good ten degrees higher than by all rights it should be in Nobember, there was no water pressure, and their cheap hostel in a line of hostels and busses and trains and travel was lacking an air conditioner.
he flopped on the nearest bed and sighed deeply, willing himself into sleep.
the others were out adventuring, taking in the city (which city? he had forgotten, lost in a haze of heat and worry and looking over his shoulder) the older ones dragging their young charges to and fro in a frantic almost desperate gamble, willing them all to forget the lives they had left behind. the homes and faces they'd never see again.
it was a noble effort. but howon had been fighting the hardest, desperately combating the homesicknesess and travel fatigue that was already lurking behind every smile and gasp of delight.
until Jia had noticed the bags of worry under his eyes and the stiffness of his spine and pushed him roughly back towards the hostel.
he'd have maybe an hour or two alone to rally his strength before they came trickling back.
"hyung?"
maybe not.
howon lifted his head off the mattress and grinned tiredly at the boy in the doorway. "myungsoo? why aren't you with the others?"
myungsoo just shrugged, his wide eyes sparkling in the dim light.
howon didn't like to play the never ending game that swirled in his mind, trying to count the things they gave up, itemizing and weighing their losses against each other. they never said anything aloud. none of them. But they all knew Myungsoo probably had had the most to lose when they left their homes behind.
not because he had more to give up than anyone else, but because he was the most sensitive of them all. howon had been party to many a whispered conference with sunggyu, woohyun, and fei which made it clear myungsoo was their highest concern. they worried he wouldn't make it through. that he could break at any moment.
myungsoo figited restlessly for a minute.
"do you need anything? What's wrong?" howon bit back the exhausted annoyance in his voice, myungsoo's twitching fingers and nervousness wearing on his fraught nerves.
myungsoo sighed softly to himself and seemed to contemplate something before suddenly lunging himself onto the bed next to howon.
in short order myungsoo's limbs were wrapped all around the older boy, his face buried in howon's neck.
howon turned onto his back, easing his arms around myungsoo's thin frame.
myungsoo dug in closer, his uneven breaths smoothing and evening out as his hyung rubbed small circles on his back. howon could feel the slight tickle of tears dripping onto his neck and shoulder.
in all his life, lee howon had never twisted his body around another male this way. he wasn't adverse to skinship, gave it as often as he remembered to the younger boys and to dongwoo when they seemed worried or stressed. he knew when to reach out a hand to woohyun on a hard day, had learned when a small shoulder nudge could somehow eleviate sunggyu's constant frown. he twisted his fingers up in suji and min's hands and held their arms close to him in a crowd. jia....
but this was different. this wasn't sungyeol walking around with myungsoo attached to his back like a young bear cub. this was all consuming skin to every bit of skin, hot breath on his neck, eyelashes tickling his jaw, impossibly cold toes on his calves.
howon rubbed his chin on the top of myungsoo's head, "you don't have to be ashamed of being homesick. "
"I'm not," myungsoo said defensively. "I'm not ashamed."
they lay in silence for a long while, their chests moving in perfect rhythm pressed against each other. howon found one hand lazily playing and twisting myungsoo's hair as myungsoo tapped out an unknown beat on his chest.
it was a little bit like being crushed by a heater... that breathed and kicked sometimes.
probably he was able to finally fall asleep, but he wasn't clear at what point. when he woke up, jia's bright eyes were pearing at him.
she had at some point curled up on the other side of myungsoo, molding her body into his.
howon reached over myungsoo's sleeping form and ran a finger down her cheek, unspoken questions lingering in his eyes. she grinned her soft smile, the one that made his heart leap up into his throat.
myungsoo nestled deeper into howon's chest, never waking as arms tangled above him.
sungjong only quirked his eyebrow and commented that it was about time myungsoo finally got some sleep.
suji threatened howon's life very seriously seconds before bursting into giggles and squeezing him.
fei and woohyun shared a secret look and never said a word.
jia told him that she realized she was in love with him when she found him sprawled beneath myungsoo, holding the smaller boy delicately but firmly.
"it was like you were protecting him from something, even while you were asleep. like he was a very small animal or child that could break if you moved, instead of a giant, sweaty teenager."
ps yes to everyone I owe fic I will be getting on that sooooon! I promise promise.
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