A sad day
I don't get around to this page too often anymore. Life just gets busy that way. Today however, is a time to step back. Eighteen years ago today, almost to the hour, my father died of blood loss in the hospital after a car accident. The echoes of that event ring throughout the lives of my family and our friends. December 14th is not a good day for me. Added to that is the most recent tragedy in Connecticut. My heart bleeds for the people involved. I have purposefully shied away from being glued to the news. My father's death so many years ago, as well as my mother's, as well as all the rest of the deaths of loved ones, tell me that I cannot erase a day from my life because something bad happened that day.
There are only 365 days in a year. It used to be that August 17th and December 14th were days that I didn't do anything on, save for go to my parents' grave and make ancestral offerings. It was my mindset. I kept with that until December 14th, 2007. That was the date of my final with Prof. Mogil. I did horribly. And I think it was all my fault, just being in that mindset. Since then, I have made my choice to reclaim those days. It's been tough, and I still make time for my parents on those days. Today, for instance. But to sacrifice an entire day? Each day we have is a gift. A lesson my parents taught me is that there might not be any warning as to which day is going to be our last, and therefore while we can make long term plans, we must still acknowledge that we live in the present.
Healing takes time. It took me 13 years to start reclaiming the days missing from my life. The wounds suffered today, in Connecticut, and in the nation, will take time to heal. For some, there might not be healing. My prayers are with them. For them, time has stopped. Time will move on, but every day will be December 14th. As someone who has broken free of December 14th, I can only offer my support and prayers, and if I am in the right place at the right time, maybe I can help others break free of December 14th too.
There are only 365 days in a year. It used to be that August 17th and December 14th were days that I didn't do anything on, save for go to my parents' grave and make ancestral offerings. It was my mindset. I kept with that until December 14th, 2007. That was the date of my final with Prof. Mogil. I did horribly. And I think it was all my fault, just being in that mindset. Since then, I have made my choice to reclaim those days. It's been tough, and I still make time for my parents on those days. Today, for instance. But to sacrifice an entire day? Each day we have is a gift. A lesson my parents taught me is that there might not be any warning as to which day is going to be our last, and therefore while we can make long term plans, we must still acknowledge that we live in the present.
Healing takes time. It took me 13 years to start reclaiming the days missing from my life. The wounds suffered today, in Connecticut, and in the nation, will take time to heal. For some, there might not be healing. My prayers are with them. For them, time has stopped. Time will move on, but every day will be December 14th. As someone who has broken free of December 14th, I can only offer my support and prayers, and if I am in the right place at the right time, maybe I can help others break free of December 14th too.