So....
First non monog event since we went non monog happened tuesday night, and it wasn't even super sexual. Actually, it was the most passionate make out session I've had in an extremely long time, and I can't seem to get my mind off of it. Yes, there was nipple sucking and cock grabbing, but for the most part it was soft kissing and intense holding. It was exactly what i have been looking for for the past long-ass time. Dont get me wrong, pat and i have awesome sex, but i havnt been this mentally sexually satisfied in quite some time.
And I did e two nights ago (the night after my other relations), with patrick, and was so excited because i figured that if there was going to be any time where we would just explore and kiss and hold it would be while together on e. But it wasnt, he was looking for the same shit he always is, and again YES, it was physically good, but i still went to bed wanting more of something else.
I want to tell him, you know, tell him that a somewhat complete stranger was able to give me something i have been dying for without even asking for it, while the guy i've been with for over two years still has some weird problem of not understanding what I'm verbally begging for. He even told me not to worry about getting him off, not because I couldnt (dude, I'm fuckin BLIM BLAM!), but because we both weren't even really interested in that part of it. We just wanted to be in the moment, you know? The last thing we did was hug each other and then we fell asleep. Not only did i go to bed smiling, but i woke up with the same damned smile on my face. But how am i supposed to tell pat that? I just told him that if a girl does something kick ass in bed or during a make out session or whatever, something i've never done that he just finds out he fucking loves, let me know so I can do it too. And he said, yeah, you tell me too... but i can't, because I honestly dont think he can reproduce it and i'm worried he wont want me to do it again.
Already, fucking non-monogomy is showing its fucking difficult side. Don't get me wrong, pats already rocked out too and amazingly, to somewhat of a surprise on my part, I really dont give a shit.
I wonder if that means something.
And I did e two nights ago (the night after my other relations), with patrick, and was so excited because i figured that if there was going to be any time where we would just explore and kiss and hold it would be while together on e. But it wasnt, he was looking for the same shit he always is, and again YES, it was physically good, but i still went to bed wanting more of something else.
I want to tell him, you know, tell him that a somewhat complete stranger was able to give me something i have been dying for without even asking for it, while the guy i've been with for over two years still has some weird problem of not understanding what I'm verbally begging for. He even told me not to worry about getting him off, not because I couldnt (dude, I'm fuckin BLIM BLAM!), but because we both weren't even really interested in that part of it. We just wanted to be in the moment, you know? The last thing we did was hug each other and then we fell asleep. Not only did i go to bed smiling, but i woke up with the same damned smile on my face. But how am i supposed to tell pat that? I just told him that if a girl does something kick ass in bed or during a make out session or whatever, something i've never done that he just finds out he fucking loves, let me know so I can do it too. And he said, yeah, you tell me too... but i can't, because I honestly dont think he can reproduce it and i'm worried he wont want me to do it again.
Already, fucking non-monogomy is showing its fucking difficult side. Don't get me wrong, pats already rocked out too and amazingly, to somewhat of a surprise on my part, I really dont give a shit.
I wonder if that means something.