(no subject)
*sleeping in: so far for sleeping in. i woke up at 6:19 this morning and now it is 7:08 am. haha. I gave up the concept of sleeping in in this country. it is not possible, as it is very loud outside, the heat gets incredible by 8 am and well, it already feels like in the middle of the morning by 6 am.. it is true.
*house issues: i came back from my trip last night and was a little surprised to find the owner of the house i am renting doing stuff and having 2 guys over to paint the roof. i know, he is still supposed to do some work but i was told he came here on monday with a girl and he showed her around the house (when a friend of mine stayed here to take care of the house). i think that is weird and not supposed to be... I mean, hey i am renting this place - i pay for it and he cannot show up an any hour he feels pleasant... ?!?! this is intruding, isn't it? i really gotta talk to him about that.
*work: i have been a little stressed about work lately. well, i am in the middle of preparing 2 different workshops for Nica farmers. the first one will be for 5 different groups of women, who have been in a microcredit program for the last 2 years but nothing has happened. yep, they withdrew their credits but didn't put them all together to invest in something as a group (like a corn mill etc), nor started working together as a group. only one of the groups is doing something. they got a drying machine and are making different kinds of flour to bake cakes and bread with their flour (the cakes are delicious!!!!). but the improvement is also very little.
anyway, i got to visit these 5 groups (well, only some of the women showed up) in the last few days to get an impression, what "level" they are. and now i have almost finalized the concept of my first workshop.
still, I am sort of nervous (the whole day speaking Spanish and motivating them... for those of you who don't know, 10 months ago i did not speak a single word of Spanish, so..) and I fear that i will get angry or get in a bad mood about it, if there is no further motivation from them... it is so hard for me to stay calm and patient, if people are like just shrugging their shoulders and saying something just because they feel you want to hear it, but not because they mean it.... well, i know i am exaggerating but sometimes i feel i have so much energy and i just want to kick their butts!!! hey, they can do something, they can change something, if they only wanted!!!!!!! gosh.
*conclusion: i have realized in the last few months, that people, who are truly willing to change something are very few here and back in Europe as well. this means, giving up your old emotional pattern of security or also financial cushion you have saved up etc etc. yes, CHANGE is risky but it is the only thing to move on and make the better of your life.
*heat: the last week has been incredibly HOT! I am not suffering from the heat, generally. I really enjoy it and hardly ever feel it is too hot, but lately it has been too hot for me, definitely. Can you imagine, i agreed to sleep with A/C??? i was not forced to do it, i wanted it on my own! hahaha. you must know I HATE A/C!!!! it makes me feel i have a cold and i always feel my feet and hands are like ice... but the last week i gotta say i was glad about this invention in some buildings (airports, hotels and such). Out by the river (where i met the groups of women i mentioned before), I felt like i was dying in the afternoon. whenever i could i took a rest or nap after lunch in the hammock outside. i have not been familiar with myself in this kind of lethargic state, like just acting out every movement that was necessary. uff. I don't like myself like this! NO. go away heat!
they say semana santa (= easter week) is going to be the hottest - and march and april usually are the worst months. I hope so, i want may to be back to normal :D
*house issues: i came back from my trip last night and was a little surprised to find the owner of the house i am renting doing stuff and having 2 guys over to paint the roof. i know, he is still supposed to do some work but i was told he came here on monday with a girl and he showed her around the house (when a friend of mine stayed here to take care of the house). i think that is weird and not supposed to be... I mean, hey i am renting this place - i pay for it and he cannot show up an any hour he feels pleasant... ?!?! this is intruding, isn't it? i really gotta talk to him about that.
*work: i have been a little stressed about work lately. well, i am in the middle of preparing 2 different workshops for Nica farmers. the first one will be for 5 different groups of women, who have been in a microcredit program for the last 2 years but nothing has happened. yep, they withdrew their credits but didn't put them all together to invest in something as a group (like a corn mill etc), nor started working together as a group. only one of the groups is doing something. they got a drying machine and are making different kinds of flour to bake cakes and bread with their flour (the cakes are delicious!!!!). but the improvement is also very little.
anyway, i got to visit these 5 groups (well, only some of the women showed up) in the last few days to get an impression, what "level" they are. and now i have almost finalized the concept of my first workshop.
still, I am sort of nervous (the whole day speaking Spanish and motivating them... for those of you who don't know, 10 months ago i did not speak a single word of Spanish, so..) and I fear that i will get angry or get in a bad mood about it, if there is no further motivation from them... it is so hard for me to stay calm and patient, if people are like just shrugging their shoulders and saying something just because they feel you want to hear it, but not because they mean it.... well, i know i am exaggerating but sometimes i feel i have so much energy and i just want to kick their butts!!! hey, they can do something, they can change something, if they only wanted!!!!!!! gosh.
*conclusion: i have realized in the last few months, that people, who are truly willing to change something are very few here and back in Europe as well. this means, giving up your old emotional pattern of security or also financial cushion you have saved up etc etc. yes, CHANGE is risky but it is the only thing to move on and make the better of your life.
*heat: the last week has been incredibly HOT! I am not suffering from the heat, generally. I really enjoy it and hardly ever feel it is too hot, but lately it has been too hot for me, definitely. Can you imagine, i agreed to sleep with A/C??? i was not forced to do it, i wanted it on my own! hahaha. you must know I HATE A/C!!!! it makes me feel i have a cold and i always feel my feet and hands are like ice... but the last week i gotta say i was glad about this invention in some buildings (airports, hotels and such). Out by the river (where i met the groups of women i mentioned before), I felt like i was dying in the afternoon. whenever i could i took a rest or nap after lunch in the hammock outside. i have not been familiar with myself in this kind of lethargic state, like just acting out every movement that was necessary. uff. I don't like myself like this! NO. go away heat!
they say semana santa (= easter week) is going to be the hottest - and march and april usually are the worst months. I hope so, i want may to be back to normal :D