And the light shines down
Day 3 of our break
Well things are a bit better. I'm doin my best to get back in touch with people. There is still a feeling in my stomach that this is all wrong and that we should still be together but at the same time we do need the break from eachother. If anythings has happened these few days is that i have realized that I took for granted what we had and i guess you could say i gave up on our relationship. I stopped thinking of her and just thought of myself too much. If we where just sitting there i'd play my games and just have her there and if we where doing things together i'd wonder off in my mind and not pay much attention to her. Now i'm not saying i should have devoted my life to pleasing her because i'm not a servent nor a maid but as a boyfreind i should have been more considerate in my actions. Its not that i stopped caring or loving her. After looking back at it all i realized that we spent too much time together. Neither of us had time for ourselves. Thats why i did the things i did because i wanted my own time to do my own things like play video games and go hang out with freinds on my own. Like on New Years eve me and Doug just talked and played video games, and if anyone else had been there they wouldn't have been happy but its because we all have different wants, needs, likes, and dislikes. The way i look at this whole thing is as much as we may love eachother its not possible for both of us to love everything the other does. For example if she wanted to go shopping with freinds chances are that i wouldn't be very interested.....unless she was getting me something. I don't think either of us fully realized what a relationship being taken to the level of engagement really ment and its a very big step. Now i beleive we have what it takes to go thourgh it all and still be happy in the end but there are things that need to change for us to take it to that level, you can't just continue on as a BF and GF. There truely is a difference between that and a fiance. You have to be fully behind the other person and we didn't do that because we .. well we got sick of eachother because we didn't put much effort towards our relationship. Now i'm gonna put it out there so everyone knows i'm taking more of the responsability for us not taking our relationship to the next level. Now not to sound mean or anything its just that krystale doesn't really have any hobbies like i do i have the computer, video games, the r/c Trucks, and cars. And its hard enough to find time do do any of them, but when i spent soooooo much time with her doing nothing alot of the time i felt like i was missing out on all of those things. Which untimately brough us to today where we or at least i was almost ignoring her. Its not that i like my hobbies more then i love her it was just that i felt like i lost all those things that i liked to do. So once we got comfortable as a couple i began to get into all those hobbies and just over did it. All in all i ruined our relationship by being selfish.
So after realizing all this i have fully devoted myself to getting back in touch with freinds and balancing out my hobbies and hopefully one day (soon hopefully well maybe not soo soon oh what ever you all get the point) we will be able to get back together as a better couple and we'll be able to realize when we are ignoring our over all needs.
Krystale I love you and i can only hope that you realize what has happened on your end and that we get back together because it kills me to not have you there to care for and to care for me.
Well things are a bit better. I'm doin my best to get back in touch with people. There is still a feeling in my stomach that this is all wrong and that we should still be together but at the same time we do need the break from eachother. If anythings has happened these few days is that i have realized that I took for granted what we had and i guess you could say i gave up on our relationship. I stopped thinking of her and just thought of myself too much. If we where just sitting there i'd play my games and just have her there and if we where doing things together i'd wonder off in my mind and not pay much attention to her. Now i'm not saying i should have devoted my life to pleasing her because i'm not a servent nor a maid but as a boyfreind i should have been more considerate in my actions. Its not that i stopped caring or loving her. After looking back at it all i realized that we spent too much time together. Neither of us had time for ourselves. Thats why i did the things i did because i wanted my own time to do my own things like play video games and go hang out with freinds on my own. Like on New Years eve me and Doug just talked and played video games, and if anyone else had been there they wouldn't have been happy but its because we all have different wants, needs, likes, and dislikes. The way i look at this whole thing is as much as we may love eachother its not possible for both of us to love everything the other does. For example if she wanted to go shopping with freinds chances are that i wouldn't be very interested.....unless she was getting me something. I don't think either of us fully realized what a relationship being taken to the level of engagement really ment and its a very big step. Now i beleive we have what it takes to go thourgh it all and still be happy in the end but there are things that need to change for us to take it to that level, you can't just continue on as a BF and GF. There truely is a difference between that and a fiance. You have to be fully behind the other person and we didn't do that because we .. well we got sick of eachother because we didn't put much effort towards our relationship. Now i'm gonna put it out there so everyone knows i'm taking more of the responsability for us not taking our relationship to the next level. Now not to sound mean or anything its just that krystale doesn't really have any hobbies like i do i have the computer, video games, the r/c Trucks, and cars. And its hard enough to find time do do any of them, but when i spent soooooo much time with her doing nothing alot of the time i felt like i was missing out on all of those things. Which untimately brough us to today where we or at least i was almost ignoring her. Its not that i like my hobbies more then i love her it was just that i felt like i lost all those things that i liked to do. So once we got comfortable as a couple i began to get into all those hobbies and just over did it. All in all i ruined our relationship by being selfish.
So after realizing all this i have fully devoted myself to getting back in touch with freinds and balancing out my hobbies and hopefully one day (soon hopefully well maybe not soo soon oh what ever you all get the point) we will be able to get back together as a better couple and we'll be able to realize when we are ignoring our over all needs.
Krystale I love you and i can only hope that you realize what has happened on your end and that we get back together because it kills me to not have you there to care for and to care for me.