well
anway. I am also wrapping up treatments for her2 positive breast cancer. I had a masectomy last April(or May?) and I don't know why I didn't get both removed.
I am currenty anguishing over ,missing how I used to have all these people I spoke to back when I used forums for communities on some videogames, and now I see geocites has been dead since the early 2000s. I had 3 of them. I don't even know what I had. but loosing it is bothersom. this shouldn't give so much heartbreak but it does.
I use quora now for.....bickering. I don't get much vegans and animal rights things on my feed. religious people who ask atheists questions are crazy.
I have 2 facebooks under my real name.
quora under my real name.
a reddit of "kaiyodei" as well as 2 Kaiyodei youtubes, and a Kuwaizair youtube.
Colleen Prinssen - YouTube why can't i change my username? how did this happen? colleen prinssen - YouTube because I have this, it's linked to your emails.
I seem to use fb like some weird blog. I should stop doing that. but then I want people to follow me, even if sometimes I have a "don't look" mentality
I moved because of the treatments and don't know where else I'd move if I am. possibly. it's a little closer to things(i can now walk to a walmart, shopite, mcdonolds, burgerking, wendy's, tacobell, dunken doughnuts. they are no longer 15 minute drive) and a liberay. they dont have much
I don't know how many environmental and specie protection groups exist. but not to long ago some people in power just cleared a forest with vernal ponds for woodcock habitat without asking the people of NJ, they just went and destroed one habitat for multiple species, for another. so it's not like that would do much.
I don't recall what cat I had when we used to communicate. but I had to put one to sleep because of intestinal cancer, which grew from bone cancer. worst christmas eve. but it would of been wrong of me to see how long he could last. he would eat, and soon after have loose stools with a vomit like sour smell. and this would happen 5 times a day.
my grandfather died last year, but he was such a menace. and was mean to my family growing up. and abandoned them. he had lived in a house I was, which we had to leave, because of bedbugs . so i was living with my aunt for a good couple of years while my stepdad moved up the road. when covid hit he got a little weaker so my aunt and I had to do his grocery shopping. we can't go shopping now without looking at some items and getting slight anxiety because of what a nightmare it was, shopping for him. getting yelled at because she paied $5.40 for something when "we could of gotten it for $3.15" and being told we can't do anything right, all while "this is the only thing I can eat, my medicine makes things taste bad" "i have no teeth" "i have no appitite". he would babysit my stepfather's dog and feed her people food, even when i tell him not to. and he does, and she would get what I assume is colitus attacks(although she did have some when I had to watch her at my aunts. damn thing pooped outside, then I take a nap and find she crapped on the rug) the dog would slink off to the unused porch to poop. I won't know. it was diarehia, it would dry. now i can't clean it. he would yell at me for snooping around, so I could clean up any fresh dog crap. "she's been with me the whole time". which is bullshit. she leaves when you sleep. he didn't think anything when i said there was blood in her stool, and that stool was like foamy yellow snot. he yelled at me for taking the trash out once. he wants to get the full use out of garbage bags he didn't even really pay for. you could not walk into that house without gaging sometimes. it was worse when he would keep a urinal by his chair. and it would sit there for days, open. then he thought he was having a heart attack and sent to the ER, which made him beligernet, and we got a call that he was fighting a nurse at night. then he went into a rehab home, then he got covid while in a crappy (nursing home?) then died. he didn't think he needed a vaccine "because he dosen't go anywhere".
what a nightmare that was.