(no subject)
i still need a differnt self
i need to care and do like care about my apperance other than "washed and clean clothing" you care when you do your hair nice and makeup when you go outside.
i need to be neruotic and care insted of being depressed, careless and not fashionable.
its chilly now. but this pink fleese hoddie dosen't match my Mutts t-shirt and jenes. maybe i shold give the shirt to my mom.
i still like the comic, its cute and endearing.
but i'm feeling faggy and like a 2 year old.
i want breasts and wear something that highlites them
i want an identedy...i need high fasion.
too bad the good stuff needs special care.
at least some stores will have discounts now.
guys will want me in designer clothing. if I have an Ambercombie and Fitch outfit i'd be good.
i'm going crazy in my mind.
i want pills to change me. willpower wo't work and i'm a bad actor and dont care.
or maby i'm lazy and afraid.
I'm not good at personas. and need an outfit for them. but some require a body. like slutcake mchumpy pants, the sedectuive girl who acts sexy and fake innocent, who's vag isn't big enough to hold all the guys dicks. who is a bit intrusive on personal space and advances on strangers as if its going to be 'their first naughty night'
maybe if i hurt some people. that helped them.
I'm so thankfull for spacebook and myface
now I can find them.
maybe if i hurt their children i'l grow.
i'm not mature enough for anything. I never was.
I ca only hope the people who made me upset/miserable/mad in school, I meet them in public with their children. I'm sure they got married at 22 or 21 and have kids.
I can't wait to go, with a look of utter disgust "ewww...what is that?" and poke their child.
or "hey don't you know you can't bring dogs to the mall?"
its petty and immature but eh. nothing could of upset those people when i was attacked with stupid shit. either that or if I spot them with huge crosses on a necklace I can go and attack that "wow...how gay" or something. I was stupid, sleeping and irrational then. I needed drugs posslby in 5th or even 4th grade. like i'd explode if they'd be like "hhahahahaha i killed a cat yesterday it was so fun"
actually one of my buddys once would even joke about how when i come home my pets would be dead because he'd of killed them.
now he grew up, got sane and nearly has a phd in sociology. I went nuts on msn and he doesn't want anything to do with me because i want to be like the scripted dolts on tv and in movies.
and that i want it to be worth it if i need to drive 5 hours just to find someone i'd want to get to know.
and that i don't make an effort to change, even metamorphizise into naughty mcslutcake.
well maybe its better. those guys are annoying and guilt trip people.
at least i nearly brought him to tears in highschool by saying that white doves are just pidgons.
I guess the white christian dove is more than a symbol. like how some religions, their gods actually have an animal form/avatar.
so a white dove really is god? like...as an animal?
oh well. he tryed to counter it with how the 'worshiped' bald eagle is 'just a white headed hawk'
durhhdurhhdurhh. welll at least he is an atheist now. religion was important to him. so i guess he learned something after being deathly ill and learning about humans/society
i need to care and do like care about my apperance other than "washed and clean clothing" you care when you do your hair nice and makeup when you go outside.
i need to be neruotic and care insted of being depressed, careless and not fashionable.
its chilly now. but this pink fleese hoddie dosen't match my Mutts t-shirt and jenes. maybe i shold give the shirt to my mom.
i still like the comic, its cute and endearing.
but i'm feeling faggy and like a 2 year old.
i want breasts and wear something that highlites them
i want an identedy...i need high fasion.
too bad the good stuff needs special care.
at least some stores will have discounts now.
guys will want me in designer clothing. if I have an Ambercombie and Fitch outfit i'd be good.
i'm going crazy in my mind.
i want pills to change me. willpower wo't work and i'm a bad actor and dont care.
or maby i'm lazy and afraid.
I'm not good at personas. and need an outfit for them. but some require a body. like slutcake mchumpy pants, the sedectuive girl who acts sexy and fake innocent, who's vag isn't big enough to hold all the guys dicks. who is a bit intrusive on personal space and advances on strangers as if its going to be 'their first naughty night'
maybe if i hurt some people. that helped them.
I'm so thankfull for spacebook and myface
now I can find them.
maybe if i hurt their children i'l grow.
i'm not mature enough for anything. I never was.
I ca only hope the people who made me upset/miserable/mad in school, I meet them in public with their children. I'm sure they got married at 22 or 21 and have kids.
I can't wait to go, with a look of utter disgust "ewww...what is that?" and poke their child.
or "hey don't you know you can't bring dogs to the mall?"
its petty and immature but eh. nothing could of upset those people when i was attacked with stupid shit. either that or if I spot them with huge crosses on a necklace I can go and attack that "wow...how gay" or something. I was stupid, sleeping and irrational then. I needed drugs posslby in 5th or even 4th grade. like i'd explode if they'd be like "hhahahahaha i killed a cat yesterday it was so fun"
actually one of my buddys once would even joke about how when i come home my pets would be dead because he'd of killed them.
now he grew up, got sane and nearly has a phd in sociology. I went nuts on msn and he doesn't want anything to do with me because i want to be like the scripted dolts on tv and in movies.
and that i want it to be worth it if i need to drive 5 hours just to find someone i'd want to get to know.
and that i don't make an effort to change, even metamorphizise into naughty mcslutcake.
well maybe its better. those guys are annoying and guilt trip people.
at least i nearly brought him to tears in highschool by saying that white doves are just pidgons.
I guess the white christian dove is more than a symbol. like how some religions, their gods actually have an animal form/avatar.
so a white dove really is god? like...as an animal?
oh well. he tryed to counter it with how the 'worshiped' bald eagle is 'just a white headed hawk'
durhhdurhhdurhh. welll at least he is an atheist now. religion was important to him. so i guess he learned something after being deathly ill and learning about humans/society