omgsoemo D:
Sorry about the long time no update, I just need to talk to someone right now.
So.. I just did something stupid a couple minutes ago and it made me feel horrible.. I grabbed a pillow and kinda curled up a bit. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. Then I started to hurt myself.. I'm not quite sure why, it felt good though.
For the past while my most dear and best friend has not been around for me. She has changed so much over the past few weeks that I feel like I don't know her at all. I used to know exactly what she was thinking by just the way she held her eyes or hands. Now? I'm not even sure if she wants to see me in the halls anymore. I don't know if it was me who did anything, or anyone for that matter. But, all in all, I feel I have no one to confide in anymore. No one to tell all my problems to and who knows when I don't want advice. Knows that all I want right now is a long hug that I can cry into.
And so I was selfish a couple minutes ago and said something I regret now, and am full of hate for myself. I can't do body mutilation to make myself feel better, 'cause I know someone will find it.. and that if will hurt before it feels good again.
I don't ... I feel like I really just need someone. Highschool's really a scary place. The only good friends I have left live very far away from me, or are not available like Lauren was. I could call her bawling my eyes out and she'd just say to get over to her house right away. I didn't need an explanation. I love her and I miss her so much. I really things to go back to the way they used to be.
By now you've probably had enough of my self pity.
This wasn't a post for anyone but myself.
You can reply, sure.
I won't really read them though.
So.. I just did something stupid a couple minutes ago and it made me feel horrible.. I grabbed a pillow and kinda curled up a bit. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. Then I started to hurt myself.. I'm not quite sure why, it felt good though.
For the past while my most dear and best friend has not been around for me. She has changed so much over the past few weeks that I feel like I don't know her at all. I used to know exactly what she was thinking by just the way she held her eyes or hands. Now? I'm not even sure if she wants to see me in the halls anymore. I don't know if it was me who did anything, or anyone for that matter. But, all in all, I feel I have no one to confide in anymore. No one to tell all my problems to and who knows when I don't want advice. Knows that all I want right now is a long hug that I can cry into.
And so I was selfish a couple minutes ago and said something I regret now, and am full of hate for myself. I can't do body mutilation to make myself feel better, 'cause I know someone will find it.. and that if will hurt before it feels good again.
I don't ... I feel like I really just need someone. Highschool's really a scary place. The only good friends I have left live very far away from me, or are not available like Lauren was. I could call her bawling my eyes out and she'd just say to get over to her house right away. I didn't need an explanation. I love her and I miss her so much. I really things to go back to the way they used to be.
By now you've probably had enough of my self pity.
This wasn't a post for anyone but myself.
You can reply, sure.
I won't really read them though.