2010/Oct/31/P016 - Nightfall, Again
"My heart also instructs me in the night seasons" is a fascinating line from Psalm 16. I am writing this entry at 3:15h, feeling insomnic. Yesterday it snowed and the snow remained on the ground, some still does, which leads me to think that it will soon be Wintertime. It seems to be a night season in reality, just as in metaphor. I am in figureative night once again as well. My contract was cut short at the law firm, so once again I am on the hunt for a job. As before, I am concerned that I will never find a professional spot where I can truly shine and make use of my God-given, Human-ignored, depression-covered talents.
Today's sermon in Church covered some of the same ground (But different scripture) as Psalm 16. The core message was that having one's perspective focus on temporary things does not do nearly as well for a person as keeping one's focus on eternal things. I heard it as a call to face my problems of employment, finance, roommate issues (A cousin moved in with me recently, and now and then there are conflicts), and (Lack of) romance in a way that acknowledges their importance in my Earthly life and also their size in relation to God's Kingdom. I need to remember the verse 16:6, The lines have fallen to me in pleasent places; yes, I have a good inheritance. God is in control, and is on my side. 16:11 sums it up: You will show me the path of life. In Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
One path I would like to see more clearly is what I should do next. Right now I am applying for jobs, just as I did during my last stretch of unemployment, which lasted for nine months. I have been considering, though, returning to school in January. Specifically, I have been considering an Architecture Technician programme at a local college. Just tonight, I have been wondering if I ought to apply instead to their Photography programme. Taking pictures is certainly a passion of mine; the question for me is whether or not it is a viable career stream. I also like architecture, and that seems slightly more approachable as a professional field. That debate rages on in my mind.
I am also thinking of applying for an internship between now and Christmas at a nature magazine which is headquartered nearby. I would love to do that, but it would be unpaid. I feel that I really should make as much money as I can before going into school. Perhaps I should try looking for part-time work which I could fit around an internship and a college schedule. I am not sure that would be enough to support me...
Some of that counsel in this night season sure would be appreciated!
Psalm 16
Preserve me, oh God, for in You I put my trust
Oh my soul, you have said to the Lord, "You are my Lord
My goodness is nothing apart from You"
And for the saints who are on the Earth
"They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight"
Their sorrows shall be multiplied who hasten after another god
Their drink offerings of blood I will not offer
Nor take up their names on my lips
Oh Lord, you are the portion of my inheritance and my cup
You maintain my lot
The lines have fallen to me in pleasent places
Yes, I have a good inheritance
I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel
My heart also instructs me in the night seasons
I have set the Lord always before me
Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved
Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices
My flesh also will rest in hope
For You will not leave my soul in Sheol
Nor will You allow Your holy one to see corruption
You will show me the path of life
In Your presence is fullness of joy
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore