2010/Jun/04/Evening - We Will Be Experiencing Slight Turbulence...
What relational tensions are you experiencing which you are trying to cover over rather than face?
I might not say that my parents and I have different goals for my life, but even if we have the same ends, our means are different. I think it is important for me to be independent and self-sufficient, but they would prefer that I rely more on them, knowing that they could probably provide better for me than I can. There is also the issue of geography. We live around 1400 klicks apart, half a continent away from each other. They want me to be closer, while I go on the predication that I need to be in this city to achieve (Some of) my goals. In short, it is the age-old struggle of establishing an adult relationship between a child and his parents. As far as I know, pretty much everyone faces the same issues at one point or another.
The problem is that we have not resolved the debate, even though it has lasted for a while. Neither they nor I are willing to concede that the other is right. I have many reasons for hoping that my career gets off the ground, but high among them is the hope that it will prove to my parents, the rest of my family, and my friends that I am capable of succeeding without their charity. That in itself is the descendant of an inferiority-superiority diplex that I have had since my very first memory, but that is inimical to this topic. Rather than truly discussing our diversion of opinion, my parents and I just repeat the same old lines without trying very hard to see the other party's point of view. Until something does change; either me finding a job or becoming completely broke, I cannot see us coming to a resolution.
If I do find a job here in this city and in my field, if I start a more responsible and grown-up lifestyle, perhaps my parents would be more comfortable with us living far apart from each other. Until then, I will continue to send them photographs of my meals to prove that I am eating well, and continue the covering-over of any doubts which may occasionally arise concerning my ability to meet my goals here. Somehow I doubt that is what the author of the devotion would like, but at this juncture, it is what it is.
I might not say that my parents and I have different goals for my life, but even if we have the same ends, our means are different. I think it is important for me to be independent and self-sufficient, but they would prefer that I rely more on them, knowing that they could probably provide better for me than I can. There is also the issue of geography. We live around 1400 klicks apart, half a continent away from each other. They want me to be closer, while I go on the predication that I need to be in this city to achieve (Some of) my goals. In short, it is the age-old struggle of establishing an adult relationship between a child and his parents. As far as I know, pretty much everyone faces the same issues at one point or another.
The problem is that we have not resolved the debate, even though it has lasted for a while. Neither they nor I are willing to concede that the other is right. I have many reasons for hoping that my career gets off the ground, but high among them is the hope that it will prove to my parents, the rest of my family, and my friends that I am capable of succeeding without their charity. That in itself is the descendant of an inferiority-superiority diplex that I have had since my very first memory, but that is inimical to this topic. Rather than truly discussing our diversion of opinion, my parents and I just repeat the same old lines without trying very hard to see the other party's point of view. Until something does change; either me finding a job or becoming completely broke, I cannot see us coming to a resolution.
If I do find a job here in this city and in my field, if I start a more responsible and grown-up lifestyle, perhaps my parents would be more comfortable with us living far apart from each other. Until then, I will continue to send them photographs of my meals to prove that I am eating well, and continue the covering-over of any doubts which may occasionally arise concerning my ability to meet my goals here. Somehow I doubt that is what the author of the devotion would like, but at this juncture, it is what it is.