Confused . . .

Jul 01, 2008 06:20

 I don't want to let the past control what happens in the future for me and Ty.  I can't get rid of the persistent feeling though that he's not telling me the complete truth.  He tells me he's told me everything, but for some reason I don't believe him.  Maybe I'm just going crazy or something.  Then I find things that make me believe that he hasn't told me the complete truth. If he had been completely honest from the beginning, I don't think I would be going through all this bullshit.  I feel like I'm going to destroy my marriage if  I don't get over this shit.  I wish the cards had been laid on the table.  And now with these doubts, I don't know if I want to have a baby.  At least not right now, with all the issues we're going through.  Maybe God is trying to tell me something.  If I'm quiet enough, maybe I will hear the answer.  The only thing I know is that I only have two options - to move on and get over this shit and try to make our marriage work or to leave it all behind.  Tough decisions.  Third time was suppose to be the charm.  .  .
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