Pondering
I'm thinking of messaging Adam to tell him exactly how offensive his comment in his blog that he's thinking of "pushing for a quicker divorce" was.
I won't do it, but I'm thinking of it.
The thing is, he hasn't done anything towards the divorce. I've researched it, I'm going to be the one setting things in motion, all he's done is asked me some questions and offered to hold off on things for my sake while my mum's ill. He's now implying that, if anything, I would delay while mum is ill and he would have to push to get things going.
For 22 months he's been happy to let me handle things. Now, less than 2 months before I'm going to start things going, he's suddenly all active and junk. The only reason is because he's now in Canada with his girlfriend. I refuse to call her his fiancee because the concept of being married to one person and engaged to another at the same time strikes me as somewhat ridiculous.
The only way that we could have got divorced faster than this is if we had each hired lawyers and one of us had stood up in court and blamed the other whole-heartedly. Now, I could have done that. He was unfaithful to me, he left me, I was the wronged party. But I chose not to. I chose to wait for a two-year separation, which he agreed to, and at the end of that get a no-fault divorce on the grounds that we just ended. He's been fine with all this until suddenly he decides to look all active to his girly, and then suddenly he's saying that he's going to make things move faster on the grounds that I have "had time to come to terms with it". Guess what, I came to terms with it ages ago. Anything he did at this point would in fact only delay matters and escalate expense beyond all reason.
I used to think that in seeing past all his faults I was seeing the real him. Now I come to realise that in fact he has taken his faults and nurtured them to such an extent that they are the real him. This makes me sad.
I won't do it, but I'm thinking of it.
The thing is, he hasn't done anything towards the divorce. I've researched it, I'm going to be the one setting things in motion, all he's done is asked me some questions and offered to hold off on things for my sake while my mum's ill. He's now implying that, if anything, I would delay while mum is ill and he would have to push to get things going.
For 22 months he's been happy to let me handle things. Now, less than 2 months before I'm going to start things going, he's suddenly all active and junk. The only reason is because he's now in Canada with his girlfriend. I refuse to call her his fiancee because the concept of being married to one person and engaged to another at the same time strikes me as somewhat ridiculous.
The only way that we could have got divorced faster than this is if we had each hired lawyers and one of us had stood up in court and blamed the other whole-heartedly. Now, I could have done that. He was unfaithful to me, he left me, I was the wronged party. But I chose not to. I chose to wait for a two-year separation, which he agreed to, and at the end of that get a no-fault divorce on the grounds that we just ended. He's been fine with all this until suddenly he decides to look all active to his girly, and then suddenly he's saying that he's going to make things move faster on the grounds that I have "had time to come to terms with it". Guess what, I came to terms with it ages ago. Anything he did at this point would in fact only delay matters and escalate expense beyond all reason.
I used to think that in seeing past all his faults I was seeing the real him. Now I come to realise that in fact he has taken his faults and nurtured them to such an extent that they are the real him. This makes me sad.