(no subject)
I...am pissed.
As in drunk, not as in pissed off.
I was pissed off earlier. Then I got pissed. It helped.
I've been wanting to get drunk for days if not weeks but I avoid it deliberately because of problems I used to have (if you want to know ask, I don't have a problem talking about it but some people who read this already know so I don't want to waste their time by repeating what they already know) but today I just had a lousy shitty crappy fuck of a day.
Mal told me earlier he gauges how annoyed I am about something by how much I swear, and in what context. This is a good gauge. If I say I've had a crap day, this just means that it was less good than normal - in that context, I barely even consider it to be swearing. If I say what I was saying earlier, swearing about - and almost at - particular people, then that's exceptional. And very very bad. When I'm actually swearing at people, it's time to duck and cover.
It isn't my job to think for people, yet people I work with seem to think that it is. This is why I hate my job and half-hope that the woman who threatenend to leave (I think her name is Joyce) was serious. At least half-hope.
One day I'm going to lose my temper at work, and then I'm going to lose my job. When I lose my temper, people get hurt. I believe that's called gross misconduct.
I don't like myself sometimes, because I can't stop my temper being a part of me. Gray's never seen me angry but he has heard it. This is a good thing. He has an idea of what I can be like but he loves me anyway.
Jesus, my boyfriend is exceptional.
As in drunk, not as in pissed off.
I was pissed off earlier. Then I got pissed. It helped.
I've been wanting to get drunk for days if not weeks but I avoid it deliberately because of problems I used to have (if you want to know ask, I don't have a problem talking about it but some people who read this already know so I don't want to waste their time by repeating what they already know) but today I just had a lousy shitty crappy fuck of a day.
Mal told me earlier he gauges how annoyed I am about something by how much I swear, and in what context. This is a good gauge. If I say I've had a crap day, this just means that it was less good than normal - in that context, I barely even consider it to be swearing. If I say what I was saying earlier, swearing about - and almost at - particular people, then that's exceptional. And very very bad. When I'm actually swearing at people, it's time to duck and cover.
It isn't my job to think for people, yet people I work with seem to think that it is. This is why I hate my job and half-hope that the woman who threatenend to leave (I think her name is Joyce) was serious. At least half-hope.
One day I'm going to lose my temper at work, and then I'm going to lose my job. When I lose my temper, people get hurt. I believe that's called gross misconduct.
I don't like myself sometimes, because I can't stop my temper being a part of me. Gray's never seen me angry but he has heard it. This is a good thing. He has an idea of what I can be like but he loves me anyway.
Jesus, my boyfriend is exceptional.