Au revoir!
- I am going to France for a week in a couple of hours. It will be a week of sitting by the pool and writing my startrekbigbang! Can't wait! So much fic to catch up with when I get back! And of course the job search shall begin...
- It is annoying because there is a bunch of things I want to post about, but no time at all!
- I am excited about lots of tv starting again, I didn't watch many shows at all, but there are a few new things, which I am planning to check out. Anyway, I was curious what you guys share with me in terms of tv shows. It's poll time! :D
Poll TV Shows
- I have a love for bizarre and/or rare pairing, but until recently that only meant I read them, have recently written a few too...
- Emma Watson/Dan Radcliffe, PG, ~400 words (This was written for 1297's fantastic fic meme, but posted anonymously, because, well LOOK at the pairing. Only I kind of like it, so.
- Skin is skin, Gabrielle ‘Coco’ Chanel/Emilienne D'alencon, NC-17, ~2700 words (This was written on the train after I saw the Coco Avant Chanel film and as far of I am aware the only one in existence.)
- Fughat/visor! (Admittedly, with a Pinto background) Okay, I debated with myself whether to post this, because, well, FUGHAT/VISOR. But I had fun writing it and it seems like the right thing to end this post with so I am going to post it. Please don't judge me.
Chris/Zach, fughat/visor; PG; ~1700
Warnings: Shameless anthropomorphism, hat-abuse, crack
On that first morning of its return, fughat woke up from its comfortable slumber, nestled between coat and purple hoody, by the sound of nearby whispering.
Greyhat and brownhat fell silent as soon as fughat directed its attention towards them and looked at it with a mixture of distrust and superiority.
“Greetings, you are new,” fughat said, deliberately friendly, but with an air of dignity which comes from being the oldest, the favourite.
Greyhat and brownhat did not reply.
Fughat did not mind new hats, (the caps were pleasant enough, but truly abysmal at conversation) but that did not mean that they should get airs above their station, fughat was back in its rightful place after all. On the bright side, more hats did mean some days off, as it got a little tiring being the favourite and fughat wasn’t as young as it used to be. Sometimes it even woke up feeling decidedly flat; though mirror always confirmed that it was still fabulous, fughat had secret aspirations of acquiring a feather one day.
Even without that feather, fughat always got plenty of attention, it wasn’t entirely sure what it did to deserve the humans with their cameras following it around so much, but it was entertaining nonetheless.
That attention had increased around the time its human met the one called Chris, and that is when things had started to change.
“Cool hat, man,” the one called Chris had said. Which, duh, though it’s always good to be appreciated.
Its human took the compliment with such a big grin, assuming it was for him, which fughat generously allowed. It translated to an increase in outings which was the first sign of change.
Fughat could not forget the one called Chris, because following that first meeting there were many others and its human even muttered his name during his hours of rest and disturbed fughat’s peaceful perch on the chair. There was also the one time fughat had to suffer the indignity of being used as a Frisbee, (thrown hard against the wall!) after the one called Chris had left.
It was a week after the Frisbee incident that fughat finally saw the home of the one called Chris. It was messier than its human’s and there was a decidedly ominous lack of hats, the empty hat stand felt unnecessary and sad, though fughat ended up liking its stay there. Its stay, which had stretched and stretched, as its human had left and abandoned it there.
That particular dinner had started like any other and fughat spied something green and complicated, which the one called Chris proudly announced was his granddad’s special recipe (his grandmother was as great a cook, he’d said, as she was an actress, but she didn’t exactly have time on her hands.) and Zach (that was the name of its human) had brought a bottle of wine, which had quickly disappeared even before the meal was ready, whisky followed and fughat was getting dizzy from the heady scent that reached it.
It tried not to eavesdrop as Zach and the one called Chris sat on the sofa and made googly eyes at each other, because it was as polite a hat as they come. Still it couldn’t exactly ignore their goings on, not when a hand belonging to the one called Chris pushed it back from its rightful place to tangle long fingers in Zach’s hair, and made fughat slip off entirely. Fughat had just began to regain its composure, nestled in the corner of the sofa, when it was fully flattened by its human crushing it as the one called Chris pushed him back. Philistines, fughat thought before it lost consciousness, who doesn’t use a bed these days?
When it came to, the house was quiet and there was no sign of Zach.
The one called Chris almost sat on it a moment later, but saw it and picked it up with a deep sigh. His clumsy attempts to reshape it proved futile, fughat felt like it deserved a facelift, though its ceremonious placement on the vintage hat stand was not too bad an alternative.
It turned out that the one called Chris had a hat, or at least something resembling a hat, around. It appeared some time later after an outing. Fughat had never seen one up close, because despite Zach’s sometimes unsavory taste in clothes, he nonetheless drew the line at visors, but fughat knew what it was. It wouldn’t have spoken to the visor if there was anything else there to do, but as there wasn’t on day two fughat said hello.
“Wazzup,” said the visor, which was extremely uncouth but it made fughat laugh.
“Well, I am forced to spend my days separated from my owner and things are not going too well, truth be told,” fughat replied, feeling put-upon by the look it was getting, obviously hats (or hat-like entities) don’t have eyes, but fughat could tell when it was being made fun of.
“Right on, dude,” Visor said. “I feel you, hadn’t seen the outdoors for so long, my human used to wear me to the gym occasionally but this Zach bastard insulted me once, and have been stuck in the wardrobe ever since, or was until just the other day. Hate the meddling idiot.”
Fughat felt indignant on the behalf of its owner, but there was little it could do and it didn’t want to lose a potential conversation partner, even if the conversation was not exactly stimulating.
Visor was not someone fughat would usually waste its time with, but there was something intriguing about the hatoid, something refreshing, and dare it think it, free. It didn’t seem to care about object division and spoke to the coats and scarf with ease, something fughat had never deigned to do and it wasn’t about to start now, but it proved mildly amusing to observe.
Fughat had tried to question it once, but it didn’t come across like it had intended and visor got a little upset.
“Whatever, dude, there is no need to be prejudiced, you know, coats maybe slow, but they are not all that different from us. You are so close hat-ed,” visor had said and fughat was affronted at first, of course it was close hat-ed, but visor was too open for words, and how was that any better?
And fughat sulked for a while, but it was nothing if not pragmatic, and visor was all kinds of hot when you got beyond the original shock of its language and mannerisms.
Visor was also really funny, telling dirty jokes, and though fughat felt confident that Zach would return for it, it wasn’t exactly looking forward to saying goodbye to visor.
The one called Chris continued wearing visor, and upon its return visor would tell long tales of impossible days filled with magic, which fughat knew had little basis in reality, but it soaked up nonetheless.
Days passed, and the one called Chris was the only human fughat saw. Sometimes he would be holding a cell and looked about to grab fughat, but would hesitate and laugh to himself and leave it be; apart from one late evening, when he returned to his flat and looked to fughat to be drunk. He picked it up, put it on his head, and looking at the hallway mirror attempted a very poor (and somewhat bitter) impression of its owner.
Then he took it off and threw it viciously on the floor, which was totally uncalled for, fughat thought, as it ended up in a dusty corner which was good for no one’s constitution. Plus it missed visor, it really missed visor.
His human did rescue it the next day, however. From its spot fughat couldn’t see them, but it recognized that voice anywhere.
“Hey.”
“Hello.”
“May I come in?”
“Zach. What do you want?”
“I just, wanted to see you, all right.”
“If you are here for your hat, you can just say so, dude”
“What? No. I’m sorry, I was an ass.”
“All right, come in, your hat is there anyway, erm, must have fallen down.”
Fughat was picked up and dusted off, feeling much better, it was starting to get allergic.
“Right, don’t blame the hat, the hat is innocent of my sins,” They both laughed, though fughat wasn’t sure why, it was true, it hadn’t done anything to deserve the dust treatment.
It got seriously squished in Zach’s hands as he looked at Chris and then even more squished between the press of their bodies. Humans were so weird.
Zach had taken it home with him this time, though he hadn’t left until hours later, and now there were all these new hats, and no visor. Fughat felt resentment spark at the sight of greyhat and brownhat and their flashy stripes, it wanted to see visor again and looking at their closeness only made things worse.
Fughat resigned itself to never seeing visor again, because despite the general incomprehensibility surrounding humans, fughat had learned a couple of things during the past weeks: Zach didn’t like visor and Chris liked Zach.
Indeed, it was a long time before it did see it again, though time passes a little differently for hats. It went a little like this, or at least this is what fughat remembers, (though the sight of visor triumphantly holding the one called Chris’s hair back was enough to scramble any a hat’s mind)
“Chris, why are you wearing that hideous thing?” Zach asked, eyeing it critically.
“Well,” Chris hesitated, trying not to smile, “since you gave me a key, I though we could start off by amalgamating our hat collections, if you know what I mean!” And by the look on Zach’s face he really didn’t, but he grinned in response nonetheless.
“If this is some sort of ploy for you to steal any of my hats, forget it, and leave this one there, you can’t go out like that, it’s ridiculous.”
“I thought you loved me just the way I am,” Chris complained.
“Yeah, yeah, but I still have the receipt somewhere if you turn out faulty.”
And fughat stopped listening, because as soon as Zach had distracted Chris with a kiss, he took visor off and threw it towards the shelf, where it landed right on top of fughat...
Both hats and humans lived happily ever after, though much to its chagrin, fughat never did get that feather.
A/N: This is dedicated to lauds, for being an awesome GQMF who encourages any crazy fughat related emails I send her way!