Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
These past 4 days to be exact, something has changed and I don't know what it is. The weekend was amazing, I had so much fun and I hope to do it again! But after the weekend something changed, and I'm 99% sure that it's me that changed. For one I suddenly feel lost or left out. It's hard to explain, I mean I was happy with what was happening until this week. My relationship with someone very close to me was finally normal again, and I'm happy with it, friends last longer than relationships anyways, but it was like all of the sudden something dramatically changed. And I can't put my finger on what it is yet. But I will find it, because I really want to be happy. And I want it to happen soon. But anyways, last night I went to TJ's hockey game and they won and he played really really good, I was excited for him, so they play again tomorrow and I think I'm going we'll see though. Umm on another note, we have a really big game tonight, if we win we will be 10-0 and MAC Silver Champions, for the first time in Center Line History! Now that my friend is very exciting, but that is about the only good thing for me right now.
It just seems like theres nothing left to care about besides sports because it's the only thing that is actually good right now. It seems that when I care and love I get hurt, and all I want to do is make my friends happy. I mean I try so hard to make them happy and have them smiling, and maybe thats my flaw. Everyone can't be happy all of the time, otherwise people start to wonder. So I'm going to start letting my real thoughts and feelings start to come out, because this whole I'm always happy all the time just is too hard to keep up. So we'll see, I'm going to try some new things out, and just sorta let loose and live things up. And I know I've said it before, but I really need to now. I have about 4 months left until my two closest friends graduate and then I'm a senior. I am going to be a senior next year, and then I'm done, out into the real world, college and work. So why not live things up right now while I can, right? Welp thats what I'm going to do.
Well I think that's about it for now, until next time diary...
~*~Ashleigh~*~
P.S. Things are complicated for some reason, I don't know the reason(s), but things are, and complication is part of life, so I will wait and see what happens, I won't ask why, I'll simply just wonder and be there for him as always.
These past 4 days to be exact, something has changed and I don't know what it is. The weekend was amazing, I had so much fun and I hope to do it again! But after the weekend something changed, and I'm 99% sure that it's me that changed. For one I suddenly feel lost or left out. It's hard to explain, I mean I was happy with what was happening until this week. My relationship with someone very close to me was finally normal again, and I'm happy with it, friends last longer than relationships anyways, but it was like all of the sudden something dramatically changed. And I can't put my finger on what it is yet. But I will find it, because I really want to be happy. And I want it to happen soon. But anyways, last night I went to TJ's hockey game and they won and he played really really good, I was excited for him, so they play again tomorrow and I think I'm going we'll see though. Umm on another note, we have a really big game tonight, if we win we will be 10-0 and MAC Silver Champions, for the first time in Center Line History! Now that my friend is very exciting, but that is about the only good thing for me right now.
It just seems like theres nothing left to care about besides sports because it's the only thing that is actually good right now. It seems that when I care and love I get hurt, and all I want to do is make my friends happy. I mean I try so hard to make them happy and have them smiling, and maybe thats my flaw. Everyone can't be happy all of the time, otherwise people start to wonder. So I'm going to start letting my real thoughts and feelings start to come out, because this whole I'm always happy all the time just is too hard to keep up. So we'll see, I'm going to try some new things out, and just sorta let loose and live things up. And I know I've said it before, but I really need to now. I have about 4 months left until my two closest friends graduate and then I'm a senior. I am going to be a senior next year, and then I'm done, out into the real world, college and work. So why not live things up right now while I can, right? Welp thats what I'm going to do.
Well I think that's about it for now, until next time diary...
~*~Ashleigh~*~
P.S. Things are complicated for some reason, I don't know the reason(s), but things are, and complication is part of life, so I will wait and see what happens, I won't ask why, I'll simply just wonder and be there for him as always.