(no subject)
Lately I am working to learn to read classical Japanese, and I tried to read a very short poem by the Heian era poetess, Ono no Komachi. Having a little bit of trouble reading it, I decided to look at a translation online to check my understanding. The translation seemed a little "off" to me, so I checked another...and another...and another...until I found that they're all pretty different! This may not interest anyone else, but if you want, look at the translations and let me know what you think. To the credit of the translators, they all realized something I didn't: the word ながめ (nagame - gaze/dwell on something) is similar to and evokes the word ながあめ (nagaame - a long period of rain). There is no explicit statement about rain or looking at rain in the original poem. All the translations with the translator's name are from: http://www.gotterdammerung.org/japan/literature/ono-no-komachi/kks-113.html. Sorry for going overboard.
花の色は
うつりにけりな
いたづらに
わが身世にふる
ながめせしまに
The luster of the flowers
Has faded and passed,
While on idle things
I have spent my body
In the world's long rains
The colour of this flower
Has already faded away,
While in idle thoughts
My life goes by,
As I watch the long rains fall.
The hue of the cherry blossoms
have faded
Gazing meaninglessly
at the long rain,
I grow old
The colour of the flowers fade, my own life wasted in vain thoughts, sheets of raining pouring down on the world
Alas! The cherry blossoms
Have flowered in vain and faded
During these long rains
Interminable as my own
Melancholy reveries.
(Tr. Helen Craig McCullough)
***
The cherry blossoms
Have passed away, their color lost,
While to no avail
Age takes my beauty as it falls
In the long rain of my regret.
(Tr. Earl Miner)
***
Color of the flower
Has already passed away
While on trivial things
Vainly I have set my gaze,
In my journey through the world.
(Tr. Clay MacCauley)
Color of the flower
Has already faded away,
While in idle thoughts
My life passes vainly by,
As I watch the long rains fall.
(Revision of above)
***
The hue of the cherry
fades too quickly from sight
all for nothing
this body of mine grows old --
spring rain ceaselessly falling.
(Tr. Jon LaCure)
***
See how the blossoms
That are falling about me
Fade after long rain
While, quietly as in prayer,
I have gazed my life away.
(Tr. Tom Galt)
***
The flowers withered
Their color faded away
While meaninglessly
I spent my days in the world
And the long rains were falling.
(Tr. Donald Keene)
***
As in the long and weary rain
The hue of flowers is all gone,
So is my young grace spent in vain
In these long years I lived alone.
(Tr. H.H. Honda)
***
Cherry blossoms pale after long rain,
Beauty useless:
Without you
I live in a world drained of color.
(Tr. ??)
***
The colors of the flowers fade
as the long rains fall,
as lost in thought,
I grow older.
花の色は
うつりにけりな
いたづらに
わが身世にふる
ながめせしまに
The luster of the flowers
Has faded and passed,
While on idle things
I have spent my body
In the world's long rains
The colour of this flower
Has already faded away,
While in idle thoughts
My life goes by,
As I watch the long rains fall.
The hue of the cherry blossoms
have faded
Gazing meaninglessly
at the long rain,
I grow old
The colour of the flowers fade, my own life wasted in vain thoughts, sheets of raining pouring down on the world
Alas! The cherry blossoms
Have flowered in vain and faded
During these long rains
Interminable as my own
Melancholy reveries.
(Tr. Helen Craig McCullough)
***
The cherry blossoms
Have passed away, their color lost,
While to no avail
Age takes my beauty as it falls
In the long rain of my regret.
(Tr. Earl Miner)
***
Color of the flower
Has already passed away
While on trivial things
Vainly I have set my gaze,
In my journey through the world.
(Tr. Clay MacCauley)
Color of the flower
Has already faded away,
While in idle thoughts
My life passes vainly by,
As I watch the long rains fall.
(Revision of above)
***
The hue of the cherry
fades too quickly from sight
all for nothing
this body of mine grows old --
spring rain ceaselessly falling.
(Tr. Jon LaCure)
***
See how the blossoms
That are falling about me
Fade after long rain
While, quietly as in prayer,
I have gazed my life away.
(Tr. Tom Galt)
***
The flowers withered
Their color faded away
While meaninglessly
I spent my days in the world
And the long rains were falling.
(Tr. Donald Keene)
***
As in the long and weary rain
The hue of flowers is all gone,
So is my young grace spent in vain
In these long years I lived alone.
(Tr. H.H. Honda)
***
Cherry blossoms pale after long rain,
Beauty useless:
Without you
I live in a world drained of color.
(Tr. ??)
***
The colors of the flowers fade
as the long rains fall,
as lost in thought,
I grow older.