For the pub kids from Tuesday. I'm late but I remembered!!
Girlfriend letter of refference, by DJ Jackass
Gentleman, (and you better be a gentleman) START YOUR ENGINS!! If you think the Indy is fast, sexy, and exciting, then you’re in for quite the surprise! Prepare for Kristine.
Kristine is not only a great woman, but she is cool. Want to watch the hokey game at the bar? No problem. She’ll watch it with you. Hope you don’t like the Leafs because if you do, she’ll put them down for three periods and two intermissions.
Despite this, she loves to go out and have fun. She drinks beer and likes it. If you like exotic foods, eat up because she’ll be right by your side. But if you’re not in a hurry for curry, don’t fret; she likes shake and bake too.
Speaking of shakin’ and bakin’…Please do not speak to her anymore if you have a heart condition. Have a phone ready with 911 on a speed dial, because if you ever do get in between the sheets with her, you’ll need it close by. With a sexual appetite like a lion, she will impress and probably blow you away (literally and figuratively) all ideas you’ve ever had in your head about mind-altering bootie.
Need some time with the boys? Afraid to tell her? Don’t be. She values time apart almost as much as time with. Although, a little advice that will go along way. Keep a vase filled with flowers with her. No matter how simple they are, she’ll enjoy them and really appreciate simple gestures such as this. But don’t think it’s a one-way street; she loves to return the favor.
Kristine is looking for a good guy and no “jackasses” (you might here this term, don’t be alarmed, its apparently a term of endearment.) I would strongly advise considering her for relations. It’s like buying real estate, her value increases the longer you have her, and you’ll seem proud to have her by your side.
Don’t pass this exciting offer up, you’ll only regret it if you let her slip by.
Gentleman, (and you better be a gentleman) START YOUR ENGINS!! If you think the Indy is fast, sexy, and exciting, then you’re in for quite the surprise! Prepare for Kristine.
Kristine is not only a great woman, but she is cool. Want to watch the hokey game at the bar? No problem. She’ll watch it with you. Hope you don’t like the Leafs because if you do, she’ll put them down for three periods and two intermissions.
Despite this, she loves to go out and have fun. She drinks beer and likes it. If you like exotic foods, eat up because she’ll be right by your side. But if you’re not in a hurry for curry, don’t fret; she likes shake and bake too.
Speaking of shakin’ and bakin’…Please do not speak to her anymore if you have a heart condition. Have a phone ready with 911 on a speed dial, because if you ever do get in between the sheets with her, you’ll need it close by. With a sexual appetite like a lion, she will impress and probably blow you away (literally and figuratively) all ideas you’ve ever had in your head about mind-altering bootie.
Need some time with the boys? Afraid to tell her? Don’t be. She values time apart almost as much as time with. Although, a little advice that will go along way. Keep a vase filled with flowers with her. No matter how simple they are, she’ll enjoy them and really appreciate simple gestures such as this. But don’t think it’s a one-way street; she loves to return the favor.
Kristine is looking for a good guy and no “jackasses” (you might here this term, don’t be alarmed, its apparently a term of endearment.) I would strongly advise considering her for relations. It’s like buying real estate, her value increases the longer you have her, and you’ll seem proud to have her by your side.
Don’t pass this exciting offer up, you’ll only regret it if you let her slip by.