(no subject)
Over three months since I last updated! Blame Facebook.
Or life. Blogging (and I hated that word eight years minus one week ago and I hate it today) is something for people with time to sit down at a computer - not a smart phone or smart tablet or whatever - and speak eloquently about whatever they feel like and have it be significant. People with time to have the kinds of experiences that are worthy of +1s and followers and e-mail feedback posted the next day in Q&A form. People who can sit in front of a 17" CRT listening to 90s rock and drinking absinthe. People who have to run from work to the store to back home and downstairs, clean the cat box start lunches, toss what you can in the washer and get back upstairs in time to drink kava tea before getting to bed before 11 if you're lucky, before 12 if you're not, and before 1 if you're really in the shit.
In short, people unlike me, but whom I'd like to be.
Then again, if I told you half the shit that's gone down in the last six months, I'm not sure you'd recognize me. I'm not really sure I have the correct vocabulary to describe my life.
Things:
*My friend died
*I ran like hell to a new job
*I drifted
*I started, for all intents and purposes, dating a former co-worker in a very "we're just friends but we go out to dinner and do things that most couples would do" kind of way, despite you know, planning to get married
*I dropped 10lbs and added some muscle to my arms
*I drank and drugged my way through many a weekend
*I questioned just about everything about my life
*I didn't find any answers
And that's not even half the shit. I'm hanging on to the pole of a playground carousel whose RPMs keep revving and I'm just about to let go because I'm having trouble figuring out why I want to hang on in the first place. It's a simple action, a simple reaction: cut the centripetal force and I'll fly straight out, miss a landing and lay on my back, cross my eyes and look up, up beyond my head and grab the earth with both hands, like I'm on the top of a ball that could roll over at any time.
Or life. Blogging (and I hated that word eight years minus one week ago and I hate it today) is something for people with time to sit down at a computer - not a smart phone or smart tablet or whatever - and speak eloquently about whatever they feel like and have it be significant. People with time to have the kinds of experiences that are worthy of +1s and followers and e-mail feedback posted the next day in Q&A form. People who can sit in front of a 17" CRT listening to 90s rock and drinking absinthe. People who have to run from work to the store to back home and downstairs, clean the cat box start lunches, toss what you can in the washer and get back upstairs in time to drink kava tea before getting to bed before 11 if you're lucky, before 12 if you're not, and before 1 if you're really in the shit.
In short, people unlike me, but whom I'd like to be.
Then again, if I told you half the shit that's gone down in the last six months, I'm not sure you'd recognize me. I'm not really sure I have the correct vocabulary to describe my life.
Things:
*My friend died
*I ran like hell to a new job
*I drifted
*I started, for all intents and purposes, dating a former co-worker in a very "we're just friends but we go out to dinner and do things that most couples would do" kind of way, despite you know, planning to get married
*I dropped 10lbs and added some muscle to my arms
*I drank and drugged my way through many a weekend
*I questioned just about everything about my life
*I didn't find any answers
And that's not even half the shit. I'm hanging on to the pole of a playground carousel whose RPMs keep revving and I'm just about to let go because I'm having trouble figuring out why I want to hang on in the first place. It's a simple action, a simple reaction: cut the centripetal force and I'll fly straight out, miss a landing and lay on my back, cross my eyes and look up, up beyond my head and grab the earth with both hands, like I'm on the top of a ball that could roll over at any time.