Guess what?!
The experiment was a roaring success! Or an absolute failure, I'm not entirely sure which.
You'll like this.
Ok, so before I continue I'd like to point out that I haven't actually said more than two words to BQFH since I got back. In fact, last year I didn't speak to her at all, so effectively I've not spoken to her for a solid 2 years.
Tonight is Christmas Eve. As is traditional, we tend to get a small group of family and maybe the odd friend and get together for a drink and some food, you know, just a nice little way to bring on Christmas. Typical fare.
So, my dad basically spent the whole day preparing lots of buffet-style food. You know, cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, etc.
He was so busy, in fact, that I had to go and do some of his last-minute Christmas shopping for him. Shopping which included expensive chocolates and drinks for BQFH. Wanting to be the good son, I went and did this, despite the fact that shopping on Christmas Eve is not fun.
Anyhoo, fast forward to later on that night. Everything's prepared and ready and we make our way down to BQFH's house. It's approximately 20:45 when we arrive.
About 15mins later, the food has been heated and it's time to eat, score! Note that at this point, all I've said to pretty much anyone is "Hello".
Everyone moves to get some food, I sort of hang back because the kitchen isn't terribly large and let everyone get out of the way. It's finally my turn and I pick up a small side-plate to put some food on.
Now, have you ever picked up a plate, or a fork, or a cup or whatever only to find that it's not completely clean? It's not the owner being dirty, it's just a spot someone's missed when cleaning it or whatever. No big deal, right? Well the only plate left was a tiny bit dirty, so I gave it a quick rinse and a wipe.
Now I'm left with a slightly damp plate so I figure I'd best wipe it dry with a cloth. I can't see any and by this point, the only person left in the kitchen is the lady herself. I ask her where she keeps her towels. "Why?" comes the response. "Oh the plate was a wee bit dirty, so I gave it a clean and now I just need to dry it", I responds.
This is what sets her off. I shit you not, this tiny statement is what set her off on a complete screaming rampage. She pulls the plate from my hand, shouting "ACK! It's not dirty, I cleaned that! My house is not dirty!" before slamming it on the counter. She storms off, shouting and screaming about how I'm doing everything I can to ruin her Christmas and so on and so forth.
My dad came out and looked at me "...what did you say to her?" and I respond with "...I asked her for a tea-towell...", at which point she comes back shouting about how I siad her whole house was dirty and filthy.
My dad ran after her as she went upstairs to try and figure out what happened. Shortly after they came down, he was shouting at her about how she was blowing it way out of proportion (yey dad for sticking up for me! =D) and she literally told us all to get out.
So we did. We all stormed out and left her there. On Christmas Eve.
We were back home by 21:15. Even my dad said that she must have been waiting for me to say something so she could have a go at me. I think that's actually a new record for her, I couldn't have been there more than 20mins before she went off. Oh and she claims that she didn't do a single thing wrong at my brother's wedding. What a bitch.
Oh...and Merry Christmas, everyone.
You'll like this.
Ok, so before I continue I'd like to point out that I haven't actually said more than two words to BQFH since I got back. In fact, last year I didn't speak to her at all, so effectively I've not spoken to her for a solid 2 years.
Tonight is Christmas Eve. As is traditional, we tend to get a small group of family and maybe the odd friend and get together for a drink and some food, you know, just a nice little way to bring on Christmas. Typical fare.
So, my dad basically spent the whole day preparing lots of buffet-style food. You know, cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, etc.
He was so busy, in fact, that I had to go and do some of his last-minute Christmas shopping for him. Shopping which included expensive chocolates and drinks for BQFH. Wanting to be the good son, I went and did this, despite the fact that shopping on Christmas Eve is not fun.
Anyhoo, fast forward to later on that night. Everything's prepared and ready and we make our way down to BQFH's house. It's approximately 20:45 when we arrive.
About 15mins later, the food has been heated and it's time to eat, score! Note that at this point, all I've said to pretty much anyone is "Hello".
Everyone moves to get some food, I sort of hang back because the kitchen isn't terribly large and let everyone get out of the way. It's finally my turn and I pick up a small side-plate to put some food on.
Now, have you ever picked up a plate, or a fork, or a cup or whatever only to find that it's not completely clean? It's not the owner being dirty, it's just a spot someone's missed when cleaning it or whatever. No big deal, right? Well the only plate left was a tiny bit dirty, so I gave it a quick rinse and a wipe.
Now I'm left with a slightly damp plate so I figure I'd best wipe it dry with a cloth. I can't see any and by this point, the only person left in the kitchen is the lady herself. I ask her where she keeps her towels. "Why?" comes the response. "Oh the plate was a wee bit dirty, so I gave it a clean and now I just need to dry it", I responds.
This is what sets her off. I shit you not, this tiny statement is what set her off on a complete screaming rampage. She pulls the plate from my hand, shouting "ACK! It's not dirty, I cleaned that! My house is not dirty!" before slamming it on the counter. She storms off, shouting and screaming about how I'm doing everything I can to ruin her Christmas and so on and so forth.
My dad came out and looked at me "...what did you say to her?" and I respond with "...I asked her for a tea-towell...", at which point she comes back shouting about how I siad her whole house was dirty and filthy.
My dad ran after her as she went upstairs to try and figure out what happened. Shortly after they came down, he was shouting at her about how she was blowing it way out of proportion (yey dad for sticking up for me! =D) and she literally told us all to get out.
So we did. We all stormed out and left her there. On Christmas Eve.
We were back home by 21:15. Even my dad said that she must have been waiting for me to say something so she could have a go at me. I think that's actually a new record for her, I couldn't have been there more than 20mins before she went off. Oh and she claims that she didn't do a single thing wrong at my brother's wedding. What a bitch.
Oh...and Merry Christmas, everyone.