(no subject)
It's funny, with as many women as I've had relationships with...both serious and not....I've never really experienced what it's like to have someone tear the heart right out of your chest...until now...I never knew what it was like to have your heart broken.
I've been in a daze for days now....the world feels covered in fog...and I'm slowly shifting through the muck...
There hasn't been a single moment over the past few days...both in dreams, and in that thoughts...that I haven't thought of her....
Christ...I don't know if I should feel angry....if I should be sad...if I should feel anything at all...it's all one big mismash in my head....and nothing feels right....
I do know one thing...I am really really fucking angry....and I am really fucking sad...the anger is taking more of a dominant position over the other....
I haven't been sleeping much....I've been eating less than that...I've been doing nothing but training and killing my body through it all...drawing and surviving on caffeine....
They're both cathartic I guess....my own way of venting so I don't go out and start a fight, or break down and start leaking everywhere....as much as I'd like to do both.
I need to fix some things...and this started a few days ago...the ring was flushed...as it did nothing but revolt me after that day I was told...in such a cowardly fucking fashion over the phone..that it was over...and now, that old life is flushed down the can....just like my relationship was flushed all over my face....spit at me, like a fucking snake.
I've been in a daze for days now....the world feels covered in fog...and I'm slowly shifting through the muck...
There hasn't been a single moment over the past few days...both in dreams, and in that thoughts...that I haven't thought of her....
Christ...I don't know if I should feel angry....if I should be sad...if I should feel anything at all...it's all one big mismash in my head....and nothing feels right....
I do know one thing...I am really really fucking angry....and I am really fucking sad...the anger is taking more of a dominant position over the other....
I haven't been sleeping much....I've been eating less than that...I've been doing nothing but training and killing my body through it all...drawing and surviving on caffeine....
They're both cathartic I guess....my own way of venting so I don't go out and start a fight, or break down and start leaking everywhere....as much as I'd like to do both.
I need to fix some things...and this started a few days ago...the ring was flushed...as it did nothing but revolt me after that day I was told...in such a cowardly fucking fashion over the phone..that it was over...and now, that old life is flushed down the can....just like my relationship was flushed all over my face....spit at me, like a fucking snake.