In Dreams (3/16)
For notes and disclaimer, please see part one.
Previously, on the Walking Dead: Carol sees Sophia again in her dreams, and confesses to Daryl the reasons behind her smiles.
~~~
Keeping Watch
~~~
The field was fast becoming her favorite spot. She felt the need to give it a name, like Sophia's Meadow, Peaceful Paradise, or maybe even Heaven on Earth. There, the birds sang, the air smelled sweet, and everything was right with the world.
Carol wanted to live there, under the cloudless sky, forever.
Sophia meandered around, inching ever closer to the tree line.
“Come back here, sweetie. Stay close, will you? You don't know what's out there...”
The little girl huffed a sigh. “Probably just deer, Mom.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” Something nagged at her, at the edge of her brain, at the fringes of her consciousness, that there were more than just friendly woodland creatures out there.
“Don't you want to see more?” Sophia asked. “I mean, what if we're missing something even greater somewhere else?”
Carol admired her tenacity, but how could anything be better than that moment? “What if we miss out on something perfect here? If we go wandering off to look at something else, how do we know that we won't miss the world's prettiest bluebird singing us the sweetest tune? Or a whole mess of butterflies descending?”
Sophia danced ever closer to the wooded edge of the field, spinning with her arms outstretched. “Who's to say they aren't out there now, waiting on us?”
She looked at the woods, at the darkness that shrouded them. For the first time since entering the field, she felt icy fingers tickle her spine, making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end, causing her mouth to go dry and her knees to go weak. “Stay here, Sophia, won't you? Just a little longer...”
The girl shook her head, bounding headlong into the woods.
~~~
Despair gripped her heart. It was too good to last. Didn't Sophia know that walkers lived in the woods? That death lurked there, waiting for the lure of something living, young, and innocent to idly wander through? Covering her face with her hands, she wanted to forget the dream she'd just had. She wanted it to shatter into a million pieces, never to be seen again. She didn’t want to remember the earnestness in Sophia's eyes before she rushed off or even the serenity that lingered in the field. Everything that had been good about the past two nights was gone. She was back to living in hell.
Daryl sighed, jumping off the wall and landing silently on the ground. Fate, karma, whatever, it was cruel, and, clearly, it was torturing Carol.
She wordlessly stood, picking up her blanket and shaking it out. She struggled to remember the nights before, with the comforting surroundings. It had been such a blessing, to see her Sophia alive, that it troubled her, seeing the darling child rush into what she knew was the end.
He watched her, as she kept herself busy, as she hurried to put away the blanket back into the saddle bag of the bike, parked just on the other side of the protective wall. Ever since the herd had descended, the cars were never far from where they slept, things were packed the moment they weren't being used, just in case. With the blanket secured, she wrapped her arms around herself.
She longed for the warmth she had felt moments before. Unfortunately, she had to settle for the uncomfortable blush from embarrassment. “I'm no walker,” she murmured.
“What?”
She turned, her eyes meeting his only for the briefest of seconds. “I'm no walker,” she repeated. “Isn't that what you're supposed to be looking for?”
“Just keepin' watch.”
“Don't need to be keepin' watch over me,” she said.
His job was to keep the group safe but he didn't point that out. “You see her again?” When she drew in a ragged breath, he had his answer. “Not looking forward to sleeping tonight, I guess.”
“I should still be happy,” she said. “I still saw Sophia. Alive, vibrant, curious...” She stared off in the distance, at nothing.
He wasn't good at advice. He felt like he ought to say something, but nothing came to mind.
“I just don't want to see her die again. She's already died twice, isn't that enough?”
Knowing a loved one died was horrible. Learning that, after they'd died, they had reanimated, turning into something else entirely, some mindless, starving freak was far worse. He hoped what he was about to say would provide some kind of comfort. “Ain't real.”
She closed a fist over her heart on the outside of her shirt. “Feels real,” she whispered. “Feels like I really can touch her, hold her... Feels like she was a little lamb, off to slaughter when I woke up.”
He scratched at the back of his neck. “Maybe it's this place, this campsite. We won't be here tonight,” he promised. “We've got enough gas, enough supplies, what we can find here. We'll be outta here as soon as everybody else wakes up.”
She nodded. Maybe he was right. “Guess I'll find out tonight,” she murmured.
~~~
Stay tuned...