hump day shorts

[kurtwasmurdered]

"you have a master's degree. What the fuck are you doing buying sour cream at presidente?"

-you know what i wanna go to but i might be too white? a drum line
-is that even a real thing?
-yeah i've looked it up
-that's really white of you

"i just wanna smother you. like a cobra."

-so i bought this blouse
-blouse... that's a fucking bra!

-lemme tell you, that pizza bagel was the best thing that ever happened to me, but right now that spicy is the bane of my existence
-it really wasn't that spicy
-not that spicy? tell that to my asshole

-i'm going to ride go-karts
-where at?
-in healeah... you can imagine. i feel like the go karts are probably gonna be old toyotas

"esto es un descaro"