Menthol cigarettes
Is it really September? The summer felt not logical at all. I spent my summer wondering if I could actually be in love with my best friend. Who knows he'll probably even read this and I think he already knows anyway. I try really hard to just enjoy wherever the fuck our relationship is at this point. As usual though, being a girl, I can't help but question it constantly. I question myself constantly. I question the fact that would I even want it to be more and possibly risk losing him as the closest person, one of the only I could rely on? I don't know. God Damn it.
I worked with these two awesome people. Dan and Jason. Dan already left and is at school, not far, only Farmingdale but it sucks. Jason's last day is soon. I think they made me laugh the most at work and now I'm left feeling like it's going to suck without them. Jason, well I have this feeling that we won't keep in contact much longer after he's gone but we'll see and maybe I should be optomistic. Dan actually suprised me a lot and for being 19 he is really fun, although hanging or talking to him I just feel old. He is a partyer and I've past those times long ago. Yes occasionally, absolutely I love to. But everyday? Eh I'm too old for that shit. Ha. We actually smoked not too long ago. First time I was stoned in like 4 years. Surprisingly fun, I don't think it will become a habit because I can't smoke with just anyone.
Living with my mother again has not been too bad. Then again who knows how long that can last. I do my best to be responsible and yet I feel so childish. She seems more than ever to really need someone living with her. All the years of saying she doesn't need me around, but I think the truth is, she does. If she doesn't want to admitt it it's ok. I'm here for now. At least till financially I get out.
Like every relationship you're left with new music.
I keep burning candles thinking it's going to bring someone with it.
I worked with these two awesome people. Dan and Jason. Dan already left and is at school, not far, only Farmingdale but it sucks. Jason's last day is soon. I think they made me laugh the most at work and now I'm left feeling like it's going to suck without them. Jason, well I have this feeling that we won't keep in contact much longer after he's gone but we'll see and maybe I should be optomistic. Dan actually suprised me a lot and for being 19 he is really fun, although hanging or talking to him I just feel old. He is a partyer and I've past those times long ago. Yes occasionally, absolutely I love to. But everyday? Eh I'm too old for that shit. Ha. We actually smoked not too long ago. First time I was stoned in like 4 years. Surprisingly fun, I don't think it will become a habit because I can't smoke with just anyone.
Living with my mother again has not been too bad. Then again who knows how long that can last. I do my best to be responsible and yet I feel so childish. She seems more than ever to really need someone living with her. All the years of saying she doesn't need me around, but I think the truth is, she does. If she doesn't want to admitt it it's ok. I'm here for now. At least till financially I get out.
Like every relationship you're left with new music.
I keep burning candles thinking it's going to bring someone with it.