Aug 20, 2004 11:11
What happens when your life is so uneventful that you have nothing to write in this thing?
"Noose."
What happens when your life is so uneventful that you think you're a journal that has to reply nastily to someone's comments?
"Deserves compensation."
...... Whatever.
I'm just going to tell you something that happen to me when I was little so you can laugh/cry/decide never to come here again.
"Can I choose an option?"
Yes. It's called *Noose.*
So anyway, it all started when I was around... six years old. I had/have this neighbor whose name was... let's just say... Ashley.
"Why not Bob?"
Because she's a girl.
"Double standards."
Alright, so Ashley -
"Bob, yes...?"
*Cringes* ASHLEY got this new monster truck for her birthday right? One of those flashy remote control ones, it was huge! She could actually put like... animals like dogs or cats on it and drive them around. Not that she did, she hated/hates animals.
But anyway, I was a six year old boy and I didn't like her. But I did like her monster truck.
*Ooh, dilemma!*
Yeah, and we both have this other friend, let's call him... Zac.
"Or Neenoo."
O..kay... Zac was six aswell, like me and Ashley, but he was both our friend, which I hated - because I hated Ashley.
"Why?"
Long story, I'll tell you later. So anyway, I told Zac that the monster truck was mine and that Ashley had stolen it and that made sense to him because girls get barbies for their birthdays not monster trucks. And he said to her something like "You're really mean Ashley, I can't believe you'd steal your own friends toys!"
And she gave me this look... like amusement but shock you know?
"Bewilderment?"
Sort of, yeah. So, she grabbed me and told me I could have her monster truck, but first she'd let me ride on it first. But for me to stay on, she tied me to it, really tight, my arms and legs were completely bound and I couldn't get out, then she grabbed her remote control and started speeding it around with me on it, which was terrible! She was going to fast and was laughing like a maniac. Then she sent the monster truck down the street! Speeding past people who were laughing and if that wasn't enough, all these dogs started chasing me!
"LMAO."
It wasn't funny! I was bawling my eyes out, just crying, but she'd given me this walkie-talkie that I could talk to her through, tied to my chest and all I would say was "FASTER ASHLEY, FASTER, THE DOGS ARE GAINING ON ME!" and I would hear her laughing like crazy... and then eventually the walkie-talkie fell off and I was just utterly devastated, lol.
"You have to be lying, this is not possible."
It took years of therapy Journal and it still hurts. She still lives next door to me. And we're friends. She likes to remind me every now and then. Cow.
"Good job, dildo-head."
Mm. Later.