And Miss Cleo Is His Spirit Animal for R_BECCA
Title: And Miss Cleo Is His Spirit Animal
Recipient: r_becca
Author/Artist: pyroclastic
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 6000
Summary: Blaine thinks he’s pretty good at predicting the future, except he really isn’t. This is especially true when it comes to Kurt.
---
Blaine’s always felt that he generally had pretty good foresight despite his age. His natural empathy helped him discover patterns in behavior so he always had an inkling of what might happen, what could happen if a person was pushed in a certain direction. Even if what he would predict was slightly skewed compared to reality, well, Blaine was only human.
There are three times in his life where he was, without a shadow of a doubt, completely wrong.
Take, for example, his disastrous, albeit amazing, performance in the Gap.
He had an inkling that it might not go over well, that maybe Jeremiah was just not into public serenades. When they’d first gotten coffee, Jeremiah had pulled them into a secluded corner of the coffee shop. Blaine had assumed it had been for privacy at the time, maybe so it was more romantic than the hustle and bustle of the main seating area. When Jeremiah had done the same thing on their second meeting at the Lima Bean, it'd become clear to Blaine that he didn’t want to be seen, didn’t want to be noticed. That shyness had been so refreshing and cute to Blaine that it'd made him fall in love with Jeremiah a bit.
So Blaine knew that Jeremiah might not appreciate being put on the spot and, okay, there was a moment of paranoia where he saw Jeremiah rejecting him outright, stopping him in the middle of the song and kicking him out of the store (he’s pretty sure that junior managers, like, have that privilege). Kurt turned him around, pushed him toward Jeremiah, and had given him the confidence to try anyway. Even though Jeremiah didn't look too happy at the end of the song, Blaine was sure everything would be okay in the end. He was, if anything, an optimist.
Blaine never saw Jeremiah’s abrupt unemployment coming. Nor did he see the humiliating rejection spurred on by age difference.
Kurt was no help, of course. He remained tight-lipped except for a few escaped giggles as Blaine ranted on about how unfair it was that Jeremiah had to lose his job because of an innocent serenade for Valentine’s day. Kurt pointed out that most of the lyrics were anything but innocent. After glaring at his high-carb lunch in the food court, Blaine had returned to the Gap (sans Warbler coat and tie in case they kicked him out upon sight) and explained to the manager that it was a mistake and he was sorry. Blaine wasn’t sure it had helped but he certainly had to try.
The next day provided Blaine with another example of how incredibly off he could be with foresight.
Blaine wasn’t blind nor did he lack in self-esteem. He knew beauty when he saw it and he knew that both he and Kurt were attractive in their own rights. Kurt had his own ethereal fey beauty going for him and Blaine could admit that he pulled off the classic Hollywood charm when he tried. So yes, Blaine found Kurt attractive and he knew Kurt had to have found Blaine attractive as well. Kurt had taste, after all.
He had no idea that the attraction went deeper for Kurt, though.
It was a bit of a shock for him when Kurt admited that he’d been hoping Blaine was going to ask him out on Valentine’s day. They were best friends and Kurt’s attractive but he’d never gone there - he’d never let himself go there. Kurt had been the first gay friend he had. Sure, Blaine was close to the Warblers and Wes had been his secret keeper when he’d transferred, but he never really had another person to share his experiences with, his taste in men and fashion and all of the stereotypical gay things he liked.
So no, that Kurt had no qualms about ruining what Blaine thought was the most perfect, honest friendship he’s ever had, wasn’t entirely expected.
“I am so clueless,” he said in a moment of weakness. His feet felt unstable, like the Earth had flipped him on his head without his explicit permission. He cared for Kurt - of course he did, there was no denying to anyone that Blaine cared about Kurt more than he cared for anything else. It would be so easy to slip into the role of boyfriend, to create what they both craved so dearly from the foundation that they already had.
Blaine, however, was scared out of his mind.
It was no wonder that he was afraid of fucking up his friendship, though. His rejection by Jeremiah stung so deep that he couldn't imagine wanting to risk his heart again, let alone something as dear as his relationship with Kurt. So, like a coward unwilling to risk it all for a chance at something he knew could be amazing, Blaine let Kurt down.
He felt ashamed when Kurt just took the rejection in stride with a sad smile and an amazing idea.
The two of them spent twenty-four hours skirting around each other, making things awkward by trying to not make things awkward. After being forced together at an emergency Warbler practice Saturday afternoon for their performance at Breadstix, however, it was like nothing ever changed. Blaine didn’t feel uncomfortable encroaching on Kurt’s personal space and Kurt didn’t shrug off Blaine’s casual/platonic embraces. They’re friends, best friends, and that’s all that they need to be.
The last thing, and the thing that clues him in that maybe predicting the future isn’t his strongest attribute, comes two months after Valentines day and two weeks before Regionals.
When Kurt tells him the news, Blaine has the sudden urge to sit down on whatever available surface is handy. This, fortunately, turns out to be Kurt’s bed, covered in stacks of clothing as it is. Kurt doesn’t even bother to pull his uniform shirts out from under Blaine or shoo him away and that hits Blaine in a way for which he’s not prepared.
“You’re leaving?” he asks, the silent me tacked on with the pained tone in his voice. “But you’re safe at Dalton.”
Kurt sighs and places a consoling hand on Blaine’s arm. “I can be safe at McKinley,” he says quietly, a little more sure than Blaine thinks he should be. “Karofsky’s secret is out, the entire town knows he’s gay. His parents are sending him to boarding school out of state.”
Blaine looks at the place where Kurt’s placed his hand, at the firm grasp of his fingers around the muscles and tendons in Blaine’s arm. He can feel every fingerprint like they’re begging him, pleading for him to understand. “What about the other jocks? Won’t they blame you?”
“No,” Kurt says immediately. “As far as they think, this is a recent development. Finn says that none of them have even considered that I have anything to do with his sudden homosexuality.”
“Oh.”
There’s a moment’s pause, and out the open window, Blaine can hear other boys laughing and playing Frisbee. He suddenly wishes he could be down with them instead of facing the gravity of everything he’s come to expect ceasing to exist. Blaine will never meet Kurt for breakfast or bring him a latte when he’s running late; Kurt will no longer make fun of him for his terrible French accent or pull off his glasses when he’s fallen asleep studying. They’ve only been friends for six months and classmates for less than that. He really shouldn’t feel so dependent on Kurt always being around, but he does.
“I’m not happy here, Blaine,” Kurt explains. Blaine’s hand seeks out Kurt’s, and he squeezes hard, as if his happiness can be passed by mere touch. “I tried so hard to fit in, to become part of the machine, but that isn’t me. I get that it works for you, and I’m happy it does, but I’ll never be truly happy here. Where you see a fortress keeping the bad out, I see it as a cage stopping the good from coming in.”
“Is this about the uniform? Or solos?” Blaine asks sharply. “I swear to you, Kurt, I can help you this time. This time, David and Wes and Thad have to pick you. You were so close for the Regionals solo.”
“No, it isn’t about that. The Warblers are great and accommodating. I get that my voice isn’t what they’re looking for in a soloist.”
When Blaine finally finds the ability to ask, the words are barely above a whisper. “Then why?”
“Dalton isn’t home,” Kurt answers.
It’s a blow unlike Blaine is expecting. For someone to find Dalton lacking hurts Blaine deep in the gut. For it to be Kurt who doesn’t see it as a perfect haven makes him feel like he’s dying. The desire to leap to his feet and throw all of Kurt’s clothing to the floor comes upon him suddenly - like he’s turned into a monster, a shadow of the person he is. Instead, Blaine takes a calming breath and lets go of Kurt’s hand, and runs his fingers through the ungelled mass of curls. As much as he hates it, he isn’t so blind as to see that Kurt and Dalton never really fit. If it were a choice between his happiness and Kurt’s happiness, Kurt’s would trump every time.
Blaine stands from his perch on the bed and grabs an empty box. With a brilliant grin, he says, “Okay. What do you need me to pack?”
---
Kurt leaves later that day. Blaine thinks that it should be tearful, that they should say something poignant and meaningful to each other. His brain automatically supplies him with images of himself bent over parchment, penning a heartfelt letter to Kurt by candle light. Calligraphic Dearest Kurt’s and sincerely yours, Blaine’s swirl around his head all the way back to his room. He thinks it could be very romantic if they were lovers, but they’re just best friends.
As soon as the door to his room is shut, his phone chimes, and he’s broken out of his Victorian-inspired daydream. Kurt’s text reads, Lima Bean Friday night? Finn’s already driving me crazy and I need something to look forward to!
Blaine has to smile because, even if he won’t see Kurt for the majority of the week, it’s not like his best friend gone for good. Their phone bill might be higher than normal with the amount of texting they’ll do, but they can do this. It’s no different from before Kurt transferred, when Blaine sent him daily reminders of his strength and courage.
He types back a response: You know I’ll be there. :)
Once Kurt is safely back in Lima and is rearranging his room, Blaine calls him on Skype and they chat as Kurt puts his away his wardrobe and reorganizes his knicknacks back onto his bookshelf. It is admittedly strange that he can’t walk down the hallway and help Kurt resort his wardrobe or put away his books or just keep him company with gossip about Wes’s attempts at wooing Santana Lopez under his mother’s nose.
He says as much to Kurt, who laughs and agrees that it is indeed strange to go back to being two hours apart. “Thankfully, technology has allowed it so that you can bug me any time you’d like.”
Blaine watches Kurt pace around his room, unpacking boxes faster than Blaine had packed them hours before. “It’s true. No matter if you’re fast asleep or in the middle of an important test, I can still tell you all about Thad’s latest overreaction over the set list of Regionals.”
Kurt laughs awkwardly. “I guess now that we’re on opposite teams, we’ll have to avoid the glee club subject for the next two weeks.”
“I’m sure Wes isn’t too pleased that you’ve left,” Blaine says honestly. “Unless you know of any other countertenors in Dalton to fill your place, he’s going to have to rearrange parts.”
“I’ll have to hope you don’t find a replacement for me, then,” Kurt teases. “Maybe New Directions will have an edge then.”
“Nah,” Blaine says confidently. “While I admit that New Direction has the pizazz, the Warblers are still more superior in vocal power. That is what the judges will be looking for.”
Kurt hums thoughtfully. “You may have a point - however, might I remind you how ridiculous you look while hopping around on stage? I’m pretty sure we - you were put through to Regionals out of pity.”
---
Despite their easy conversations through Skype that weekend, Monday finds them nearly incommunicado til dinner time when Kurt texts, You won’t believe this - New Directions is actually ready for Regionals before the eleventh hour! The Warblers had better bring their game faces. ;)
Blaine smiles down at his phone as he imagines Kurt’s shocked expression paired with a disbelieving, sarcastic comment. He knows all about New Directions’ inability to be prepared til the last possible moment from Kurt’s stories about their first year competing. Even that had been hard to pry out of his friend - while Kurt was loyal to the Warblers while at Dalton, he would always be just that bit more loyal to New Directions, despite its many flaws.
He answers the text succinctly as he waits in line for macaroni and cheese: I believe I can speak for the Warblers and say, bring it on.
Fifteen minutes later, his phone buzzes with another text from Kurt. Oh, I believe it’s already been brought. We’ll be wiping you off of the floor afterward.
Blaine can’t stop grinning throughout the rest of dinner.
---
The rest of the week is much of the same. Whether it’s because Blaine himself is busy with a big Latin project or Kurt is busy learning an entirely new set list, neither of them are able to talk for long during the day. At night, Blaine receives hurried texts from Kurt grousing about Mr. Schuester’s inability to concentrate on anything but foiling Coach Sylvester’s plans at ruining glee club.
Their longest conversations come at night between Kurt’s moisturizing routine and Blaine’s head hitting his pillow. They talk of nothing consequential, referencing old in-jokes and events from previous months before finally drifting to sleep, but communication is stilted and slow. The longer they try to talk, the harder it becomes to talk to him. Above all the frustration he feels at not being able to talk to Kurt, Blaine just misses him. It’s a bone-deep hurt and he’d do anything to just give him a hug.
Blaine would be sick with worry if it weren't for Kurt's regularly scheduled status updates. At 7:30 AM there is a rundown of his finalized outfit for the day just before he leaves for school, 2:30 PM takes bets on the predicted glee club shenanigans, and 5:00PM is a mixed bag of heart-healthy recipes, song lyrics, and New Directions in-jokes. Blaine replies with quips about New Directions and recommends some organic cookies for Kurt to try, but doesn’t often get replies back. He can’t be angry, though; he knows how busy Kurt is with his transfer back to New Directions.
When he sleeps, Blaine dreams about Kurt. There’s this opalescent glass separating them and no matter what Blaine does, he can’t get through to just be with Kurt.
---
Blaine is antsy all of Friday and rushes out of practice as soon as Wes dismisses them. It isn’t that he’s particularly excited to go home - no, he’s much more excited to get coffee with Kurt. His weekend bag has been packed since the night before, and it takes less than five minutes to gather his things before he’s racing back to Lima.
The two hour car ride is strange, familiar but foreign at the same time. Before Kurt came to Dalton, he made the drive from Westerville to Lima and back hundreds of times. He spent the entire time practicing his Latin conjugations and periodic table.
When Kurt had transferred, though, the two of them decided that carpooling was more economical. They would switch off each week with one of them driving and the other paying for coffee. They made playlists to listen to throughout the week and tested them out during the weekend. Blaine misses arguing about whose playlist was better that week, getting into singing matches as they pulled off of the highway and into the parking lot of the first Lima Bean on the outskirts of town.
On Sunday, they’d do the drive in reverse with large coffees within arm's reach and softer voices. Kurt would tell him about catching up with his New Directions friends and Blaine would hum a few bars of the newest song he was working on. Eventually, though, Sunday afternoon drives found them quiet and contemplative. It was nice just knowing that there was someone there if he needed to muse aloud.
Without Kurt in the car with him, Blaine’s thoughts go everywhere, from a story that Nick told him the day before to Kurt’s former roommate crowing about having a single room. He wants to tell Kurt everything and he wants to know everything in return. Instead of a mere five days apart, it feels like eternity.
As he's passing through Marysville, Blaine plans out their Lima Bean meeting. They'll meet outside of the coffee shop and maybe Blaine will give Kurt a hug. He does that a lot - randomly embracing Kurt in a tight hug because he can. Though his friends in the Warblers aren't homophobic by any means, they've never allowed Blaine to just hug them on a whim. Kurt's different, though; he's just as touch-starved as Blaine.
After squeezing the stuffing out of Kurt with a hug, they'll enter the cafe, wait in line, and argue over who is paying. With their coffee clutched in their hands, Blaine will lead them to their favorite table and they'll banter and tease each other about whatever that comes to mind. Kurt will probably mock him for wearing his uniform home instead of changing, Blaine will say that it makes him look dashing and that he's just jealous that it makes Kurt look even younger.
Once their rapid-fire retorts are finished, they will fall silent and sip at their cooled-off coffee. Blaine will say, "So how is the motley crew of misfit toys named New Directions? What drama have you all gotten into this week?" Kurt will laugh and update him on the slightly incestuous love-dodecagon that fascinates Blaine so thoroughly. Blaine will listen intently and eat his biscotti, making all of the appropriate remarks at all the right times.
They'll spend an hour gossiping about Kurt's friends. After that, it'll be another moment of silence. Maybe they'll go up for refills and maybe they'll split a rainbow cookie. Blaine will start his share of stories by telling Kurt about his ex-roommate's plans to sneak his girlfriend in now that Kurt is gone. He'll tell Kurt about Wes and David's recent freak out about the set list and all of the creative Victorian insults meant for the absent Kurt.
Hours will pass in the coffee shop. As soon as it's time for Kurt to leave for his Friday dinners, they'll throw their cups away, hug again, and part. Maybe they'll make plans for Sunday morning, breakfast at Breadstix before Blaine heads back to Dalton. Blaine's confident that this will be their new pattern, that this is how he'll get through his week without seeing his best friend.
He parks his car at their usual Lima Bean and has to restrain himself from running to wait at the entrance for Kurt to arrive. Not wanting to scare the other patrons (or make a fool of himself if he's completely honest), Blaine instead takes his sweet time walking to the door, a casual swagger to his hips like he has all the time in the world.
Minutes tick by as Blaine waits for Kurt and he opens to the door for each patron who approaches. As five minutes turns into thirty, he can feel his genuine smile turn into a painfully tacked-on show face. He says, "Good day, ma'am," even as his thoughts turn dark. Maybe something happened to Kurt's dad - maybe something happened to Kurt. Blaine fumbles with his phone in his pocket and calls Kurt as fast as he can.
The phone rings and rings and rings. The dial tone quickly becomes Blaine's least favorite sound; if Kurt isn't able to pick up, then something must have happened. He leaves a message asking Kurt if something happened, that he's worried because Kurt is never late for anything. He tries to keep concern out of his voice throughout the entire message till he finishes with, "Just, just call me back okay?"
Blaine hangs up and waits. When Kurt finally texts him five minutes after Blaine hangs up, Blaine wishes he hadn't. Have to cancel, sorry. It offers no explanation and only serves to increase Blaine's concern.
Not knowing what else to do, Blaine returns home.
---
For the next week, Kurt doesn't answer Blaine's texts. He even stoops so low as to stalk Kurt's friends and watch as they talk via Facebook all week. Eventually, Blaine breaks down and texts Mercedes, Finn, Tina, but they all say the same thing: Sorry, I can’t help you there. You’ll need to talk to him yourself.
Then, it becomes clear: Kurt is avoiding him.
The first person he thinks to confide in is Wes. A least, he tries to, but Wes is drowning in Warblers paperwork and set list changes. For what little Wes is able to advise, he does bring up a good point: If Kurt is avoiding him, what did Blaine do?
Regret rolls in Blaine's gut. Maybe he's annoyed Kurt with all of the texts and calls the previous week. Maybe Kurt no longer needs him now that he's back with his friends. It's different to rely on [twelve] other people than one. Blaine supposes they're better suited for helping Kurt now.
He leaves a message on Kurt's wall. Whatever I did, I'm sorry.
---
On Wednesday, Blaine talks to David.
Or, rather, David lectures him about how to be a boyfriend. He doesn't let Blaine get a word in edgewise and talks over him when Blaine tries to interrupt. He explains that, even if something isn't his fault, apologize anyway.
"But I'm not his boyfriend," Blaine says when David pauses to take a breath.
David snorts and claps him on the shoulder. "You go on coffee dates and argue like an old married couple. Ever since he defected back to McKinley, you've been wandering around campus like a lost puppy, waiting for someone to bring you back to Kurt. Blaine, you two are dating; you just haven't realized it yet."
For the rest of the night, Blaine thinks of Kurt in the context of his boyfriend and finds that it doesn't feel wrong at all.
---
The morning they're supposed to be heading to Columbus to Regionals, Blaine decides to quit.
Rather, Blaine buries his head under his pillow when Wes and David try to wake him up. He says, as dramatically as he can, "Just let me die."
"Warblers don't leave a man behind," David quips. “Especially when that man is our only soloist.” He pulls Blaine's blanket off of his body as Wes tugs at the pillow covering his head. "Get up. Show Kurt that you're the bigger man in this break up, that you aren't effected by this at all."
Blaine groans and curls up into a ball. "But it is effecting me and we never dated in the first place. I totally blew my chance back in February. Why did I have to shove him into the friend zone? Why am I such a coward?"
"We always friend zone the ones we love," Wes says. It takes both he and David all of five seconds to pull Blaine off the bed and into some semblance of standing. "Get up, get dressed, and let's go. We're going to pummel those McKinley brats and then you're going to get Kurt back."
---
It’s obvious that Coach Sylvester has worked Aural Intensity into a perfectly oiled machine. While she may not know much about vocal performance, she knows a lot about movement. Blaine’s only heard of the Cheerios performances from Kurt and from what he can tell, Blaine is seeing a Cheerios performance with vocals.
The vocals are what is going to break them, though. The first song was sloppy and rushed in favor of flips and swing dancing and the second was hardly better than the first. Blaine’s confident that with the Warblers’ ability to create a wall of sound with their voices, they’ll easily beat Aural Intensity and probably New Directions, who relies on one or two soloists to carry the rest of pack.
Blaine straightens his tie once more as the Warblers prepare to step out on stage. He turns around to tell Wes his thoughts on Coach Sylvester’s skills as a glee club director when he sees a flash of movement in the corner of his eye.
Kurt watches him with a slight frown, as if he’s in deep thought. When Kurt's brow furrows, Blaine wants to step toward him and joke, You’ll get wrinkles doing that. Before he can say anything, however, Kurt is ushered back to the green room by Rachel and Wes pushes Blaine onto the stage.
From the moment Wes blows into the pitch pipe and until they step off the stage, Blaine is riding on a current of raw emotions. He wasn’t lying when he said that he better expressed himself through song. Sometimes he has to pull out emotions that he’s long since buried to properly emote a song, but everything he sings and feels is genuine.
Instead of thinking about Jeremiah’s rejection, Blaine thinks about Kurt leaving him, avoiding him. Seeing him back stage, not happy to see him, feels like a slap. He wonders if it’s at all worth it to try to talk to Kurt. Maybe he really is too late.
Then, as soon as the last notes of their set list is lost in the roaring applause from the audience, Blaine lets himself look around. There, standing in the wings, is Kurt. There’s a faint, sad smile on his lips and he wiggles his fingers in greeting. Blaine gets the sudden urge to punch the air in excitement.
He quickly makes his way over to Kurt and envelopes him in a hug. “Kurt.”
Kurt giggles nervously and says hello, patting Blaine’s back stiffly. “You’re hugging the enemy.”
“Don’t care,” Blaine replies, his words muffled by Kurt’s collar. He wants to soak Kurt up, his smell, his touch, his very essence. Blaine had never realized how absolutely dependent he was on Kurt, not just as a best friend but as a point of stability. While the Warblers provided comfort and belonging, they could not match the intimacy Kurt provided. Blaine needs both of them to be strong, the base of a triangle that makes the top point unmoving. Without Kurt, Blaine feels like he’s just hanging in midair, ready to crumble.
He says, “I’ve missed you. I don’t know why you’re avoiding me, but I missed you.”
Kurt pulls back so that they can see eye-to-eye. There’s some emotion that flickers across his face - regret, relief, and possibly sadness wage war against each other on Kurt’s lips and in Kurt’s eyes. “I am so sorry. Can we talk after?”
Blaine’s stomach clenches then, urging him to reach forward and kiss Kurt, tell him that he doesn’t need to explain. So long as Kurt doesn’t leave him again, Blaine couldn’t care why. Instead, Blaine steps out of the circle of Kurt’s arms and takes his hand instead. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Kurt squeezes his hand in response and walks off of the stage with a smile.
---
Blaine grabs a reserved seat in the front row for New Direction’s performance only moments before the band starts up. Though he was unable (and unwilling) to sit for Aural Intensity’s set, Blaine feels this unquestionable need to support Kurt and his teammates and be the first to lead a standing ovation. He also feels slightly nervous, unsure as to what New Directions cooked up for the theme. The catagory was so vast that it’s almost impossible to come up with a really cohesive set list. The Senior Council had deliberated for two weeks about what they’d do for their own performance.
Rachel and Mercedes had been pretty tight-lipped about New Directions' set list whenever the four of them got coffee together before Kurt’s transfer. They’d seemed pretty solid about their plans, though - possibly more solid than even the Warblers had been at that point. However, after Kurt went back to McKinley, the little that Blaine had spoken to Kurt made Blaine think they’d decided to completely scrap their plan of attack and go for something new. “So much for New Directions being ready in advanced for Regionals,” Kurt had said.
The music starts up promptly, a poppy number that Blaine doesn’t recognise. He knows from anecdotes that Mr. Schue has a penchant for obscure 80s music so, since Blaine remains firmly in the Top 40, it isn’t a surprise that it isn’t familiar. When the curtains don’t open automatically, Blaine swivels in his seat and looks towards the back and, yup, there goes Mercedes down the aisle, singing with her usually powerful flair.
Then, to Blaine’s surprise, he hears Kurt’s voice follow hers. On the other side of the aisle, Kurt dances, mimicking the broad movements of Mercedes’ arms and twirling when the notes spike high. The audience around Blaine murmurs excitedly and he can hear the rustle of hundreds of programs just under the music.
There’s a break in the lyrics where Kurt and Mercedes run on stage, the curtains opening to reveal the rest of New Directions poised for their dance. Mercedes sings again as Wes nudges Blaine’s shoulder.
“This is an original song,” he whispers fervently. “This one is written by Kurt, and there are two other original pieces - one by their lead soloist Rachel and the other by some guy named Puck. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Blaine throws Wes a nasty look and grabs the program from his grasp. “Kurt didn’t tell me anything. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but we haven’t exactly seen each other in two weeks.”
The program says exactly what Wes told him: Kurt’s solo was written by him. It showcases not just his own powerful countertenor but also Mercedes’ expert runs. Blaine listens intently at the chorus, amazed at the way the lyrics ebb and flow with the melody. Kurt’s voice crashes over the audience, singing about courage and love. It’s beautiful and terrifying all at once.
The lyrics remind him of when they met, all of the hurt and confusion Kurt had expressed over the month before his transfer, and of the comfortable days spent in Blaine’s dorm room, listening to music and doing homework. The song expresses safety and comfort, but also longing. There is an eerie familiarity to all of it.
Kurt meets his eye during the final bridge and in that moment, Blaine knows that the song is about him.
---
The three choirs have forty minutes after New Directions' set before they need to be on stage to find out who is moving on to Nationals, but Blaine doesn’t want to lose any time talking to Kurt. Once the roaring applause dies down, Blaine shoots towards the stage entrance and looks for Kurt. He’s hard to spot around the dozen or so friends crowded around him, hugging him from all sides.
Blaine taps Rachel’s shoulder and smiles down at her. “Mind if I have a turn?”
She grins up at him and steps away from the crowd. “Okay, people. Back to the green room. I have some critiques I’d like to go over with everyone that will greatly increase our chances of winning Nationals in a few months.”
The rest of the group grumbles and heads to their designated green room, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone in the hallway.
Kurt smiles meekly and says, “Hi.” There’s a moment’s pause where they don’t say anything and Blaine watches as Kurt nervously wrings his hands.
Blaine can’t help himself; he rushes forward and hugs Kurt even tighter than he had when they’d met in the wings less than an hour before. Kurt returns it more confidently than their previous reunion and it makes Blaine’s heart soar.
“You were amazing, Kurt,” he whispers into Kurt’s shoulder. “You wrote that?”
“Yeah,” Kurt says in a small, nervous voice. “I hope you don’t mind if I stole a few ideas from you.”
“I feel honored.”
Kurt’s hold on Blaine’s back tightens. “I was afraid I’d embarrass you or I’d freak you out. I didn’t want to come on too strong.”
“No way,” Blaine assures him, pulling back to look Kurt in the eye. “Not too strong at all. I just - Kurt, I’ve been so dumb. I thought you were mad at me for some reason and then I realized that I totally missed my chance with you. Did you know Wes and David think we’re dating?”
“I know.” The smile Kurt shows him is like a ray of sunshine cutting through Blaine’s anxiety. “I was waiting for you to catch up.”
Blaine laughs and presses a kiss to Kurt’s forehead. He wants to kiss Kurt’s lips instead, and possibly his jaw and his neck and all the way down to his toes, but it probably isn’t the right time yet. Soon, though, Blaine knows that they won’t be able to keep their hands off each other. Instead, he says, “So, winner buys the loser dinner?”
Kurt rolls his eyes affectionately and grabs Blaine’s hand, squeezing it tight. “I hope you don’t mind Breadstix with the rest of New Directions after we win. I’m completely broke.”
---
There are things that Blaine tries to predict, to assume the outcome before it happens. For example, he knew that New Directions was going to win and he knew that Kurt would treat him to dinner at Breadstix. However, Blaine could never have seen his relationship with Kurt developing so smoothly after, and he never figured that it’d be Kurt’s song that would make him brave enough to transfer to McKinley the following year. If someone had told Blaine three years ago that he would be facing his fears by standing up to bullies and helping create a strict anti-harassment policy that rivals Dalton’s, he wouldn’t have believed them.
In the end, he figures it’s all well and good to try and guess an outcome but he can’t really know how things will work out. Sometimes, like when Kurt surprises him with something romantic and thoughtful, Blaine thinks he’s better off surprised.
Highest rating preferred: NC-17
Prompt(s) used: 1. tie-grabbing
3. cage!Dalton
4. long-distance relationship
5. Regionals
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Recipient: r_becca
Author/Artist: pyroclastic
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 6000
Summary: Blaine thinks he’s pretty good at predicting the future, except he really isn’t. This is especially true when it comes to Kurt.
---
Blaine’s always felt that he generally had pretty good foresight despite his age. His natural empathy helped him discover patterns in behavior so he always had an inkling of what might happen, what could happen if a person was pushed in a certain direction. Even if what he would predict was slightly skewed compared to reality, well, Blaine was only human.
There are three times in his life where he was, without a shadow of a doubt, completely wrong.
Take, for example, his disastrous, albeit amazing, performance in the Gap.
He had an inkling that it might not go over well, that maybe Jeremiah was just not into public serenades. When they’d first gotten coffee, Jeremiah had pulled them into a secluded corner of the coffee shop. Blaine had assumed it had been for privacy at the time, maybe so it was more romantic than the hustle and bustle of the main seating area. When Jeremiah had done the same thing on their second meeting at the Lima Bean, it'd become clear to Blaine that he didn’t want to be seen, didn’t want to be noticed. That shyness had been so refreshing and cute to Blaine that it'd made him fall in love with Jeremiah a bit.
So Blaine knew that Jeremiah might not appreciate being put on the spot and, okay, there was a moment of paranoia where he saw Jeremiah rejecting him outright, stopping him in the middle of the song and kicking him out of the store (he’s pretty sure that junior managers, like, have that privilege). Kurt turned him around, pushed him toward Jeremiah, and had given him the confidence to try anyway. Even though Jeremiah didn't look too happy at the end of the song, Blaine was sure everything would be okay in the end. He was, if anything, an optimist.
Blaine never saw Jeremiah’s abrupt unemployment coming. Nor did he see the humiliating rejection spurred on by age difference.
Kurt was no help, of course. He remained tight-lipped except for a few escaped giggles as Blaine ranted on about how unfair it was that Jeremiah had to lose his job because of an innocent serenade for Valentine’s day. Kurt pointed out that most of the lyrics were anything but innocent. After glaring at his high-carb lunch in the food court, Blaine had returned to the Gap (sans Warbler coat and tie in case they kicked him out upon sight) and explained to the manager that it was a mistake and he was sorry. Blaine wasn’t sure it had helped but he certainly had to try.
The next day provided Blaine with another example of how incredibly off he could be with foresight.
Blaine wasn’t blind nor did he lack in self-esteem. He knew beauty when he saw it and he knew that both he and Kurt were attractive in their own rights. Kurt had his own ethereal fey beauty going for him and Blaine could admit that he pulled off the classic Hollywood charm when he tried. So yes, Blaine found Kurt attractive and he knew Kurt had to have found Blaine attractive as well. Kurt had taste, after all.
He had no idea that the attraction went deeper for Kurt, though.
It was a bit of a shock for him when Kurt admited that he’d been hoping Blaine was going to ask him out on Valentine’s day. They were best friends and Kurt’s attractive but he’d never gone there - he’d never let himself go there. Kurt had been the first gay friend he had. Sure, Blaine was close to the Warblers and Wes had been his secret keeper when he’d transferred, but he never really had another person to share his experiences with, his taste in men and fashion and all of the stereotypical gay things he liked.
So no, that Kurt had no qualms about ruining what Blaine thought was the most perfect, honest friendship he’s ever had, wasn’t entirely expected.
“I am so clueless,” he said in a moment of weakness. His feet felt unstable, like the Earth had flipped him on his head without his explicit permission. He cared for Kurt - of course he did, there was no denying to anyone that Blaine cared about Kurt more than he cared for anything else. It would be so easy to slip into the role of boyfriend, to create what they both craved so dearly from the foundation that they already had.
Blaine, however, was scared out of his mind.
It was no wonder that he was afraid of fucking up his friendship, though. His rejection by Jeremiah stung so deep that he couldn't imagine wanting to risk his heart again, let alone something as dear as his relationship with Kurt. So, like a coward unwilling to risk it all for a chance at something he knew could be amazing, Blaine let Kurt down.
He felt ashamed when Kurt just took the rejection in stride with a sad smile and an amazing idea.
The two of them spent twenty-four hours skirting around each other, making things awkward by trying to not make things awkward. After being forced together at an emergency Warbler practice Saturday afternoon for their performance at Breadstix, however, it was like nothing ever changed. Blaine didn’t feel uncomfortable encroaching on Kurt’s personal space and Kurt didn’t shrug off Blaine’s casual/platonic embraces. They’re friends, best friends, and that’s all that they need to be.
The last thing, and the thing that clues him in that maybe predicting the future isn’t his strongest attribute, comes two months after Valentines day and two weeks before Regionals.
When Kurt tells him the news, Blaine has the sudden urge to sit down on whatever available surface is handy. This, fortunately, turns out to be Kurt’s bed, covered in stacks of clothing as it is. Kurt doesn’t even bother to pull his uniform shirts out from under Blaine or shoo him away and that hits Blaine in a way for which he’s not prepared.
“You’re leaving?” he asks, the silent me tacked on with the pained tone in his voice. “But you’re safe at Dalton.”
Kurt sighs and places a consoling hand on Blaine’s arm. “I can be safe at McKinley,” he says quietly, a little more sure than Blaine thinks he should be. “Karofsky’s secret is out, the entire town knows he’s gay. His parents are sending him to boarding school out of state.”
Blaine looks at the place where Kurt’s placed his hand, at the firm grasp of his fingers around the muscles and tendons in Blaine’s arm. He can feel every fingerprint like they’re begging him, pleading for him to understand. “What about the other jocks? Won’t they blame you?”
“No,” Kurt says immediately. “As far as they think, this is a recent development. Finn says that none of them have even considered that I have anything to do with his sudden homosexuality.”
“Oh.”
There’s a moment’s pause, and out the open window, Blaine can hear other boys laughing and playing Frisbee. He suddenly wishes he could be down with them instead of facing the gravity of everything he’s come to expect ceasing to exist. Blaine will never meet Kurt for breakfast or bring him a latte when he’s running late; Kurt will no longer make fun of him for his terrible French accent or pull off his glasses when he’s fallen asleep studying. They’ve only been friends for six months and classmates for less than that. He really shouldn’t feel so dependent on Kurt always being around, but he does.
“I’m not happy here, Blaine,” Kurt explains. Blaine’s hand seeks out Kurt’s, and he squeezes hard, as if his happiness can be passed by mere touch. “I tried so hard to fit in, to become part of the machine, but that isn’t me. I get that it works for you, and I’m happy it does, but I’ll never be truly happy here. Where you see a fortress keeping the bad out, I see it as a cage stopping the good from coming in.”
“Is this about the uniform? Or solos?” Blaine asks sharply. “I swear to you, Kurt, I can help you this time. This time, David and Wes and Thad have to pick you. You were so close for the Regionals solo.”
“No, it isn’t about that. The Warblers are great and accommodating. I get that my voice isn’t what they’re looking for in a soloist.”
When Blaine finally finds the ability to ask, the words are barely above a whisper. “Then why?”
“Dalton isn’t home,” Kurt answers.
It’s a blow unlike Blaine is expecting. For someone to find Dalton lacking hurts Blaine deep in the gut. For it to be Kurt who doesn’t see it as a perfect haven makes him feel like he’s dying. The desire to leap to his feet and throw all of Kurt’s clothing to the floor comes upon him suddenly - like he’s turned into a monster, a shadow of the person he is. Instead, Blaine takes a calming breath and lets go of Kurt’s hand, and runs his fingers through the ungelled mass of curls. As much as he hates it, he isn’t so blind as to see that Kurt and Dalton never really fit. If it were a choice between his happiness and Kurt’s happiness, Kurt’s would trump every time.
Blaine stands from his perch on the bed and grabs an empty box. With a brilliant grin, he says, “Okay. What do you need me to pack?”
---
Kurt leaves later that day. Blaine thinks that it should be tearful, that they should say something poignant and meaningful to each other. His brain automatically supplies him with images of himself bent over parchment, penning a heartfelt letter to Kurt by candle light. Calligraphic Dearest Kurt’s and sincerely yours, Blaine’s swirl around his head all the way back to his room. He thinks it could be very romantic if they were lovers, but they’re just best friends.
As soon as the door to his room is shut, his phone chimes, and he’s broken out of his Victorian-inspired daydream. Kurt’s text reads, Lima Bean Friday night? Finn’s already driving me crazy and I need something to look forward to!
Blaine has to smile because, even if he won’t see Kurt for the majority of the week, it’s not like his best friend gone for good. Their phone bill might be higher than normal with the amount of texting they’ll do, but they can do this. It’s no different from before Kurt transferred, when Blaine sent him daily reminders of his strength and courage.
He types back a response: You know I’ll be there. :)
Once Kurt is safely back in Lima and is rearranging his room, Blaine calls him on Skype and they chat as Kurt puts his away his wardrobe and reorganizes his knicknacks back onto his bookshelf. It is admittedly strange that he can’t walk down the hallway and help Kurt resort his wardrobe or put away his books or just keep him company with gossip about Wes’s attempts at wooing Santana Lopez under his mother’s nose.
He says as much to Kurt, who laughs and agrees that it is indeed strange to go back to being two hours apart. “Thankfully, technology has allowed it so that you can bug me any time you’d like.”
Blaine watches Kurt pace around his room, unpacking boxes faster than Blaine had packed them hours before. “It’s true. No matter if you’re fast asleep or in the middle of an important test, I can still tell you all about Thad’s latest overreaction over the set list of Regionals.”
Kurt laughs awkwardly. “I guess now that we’re on opposite teams, we’ll have to avoid the glee club subject for the next two weeks.”
“I’m sure Wes isn’t too pleased that you’ve left,” Blaine says honestly. “Unless you know of any other countertenors in Dalton to fill your place, he’s going to have to rearrange parts.”
“I’ll have to hope you don’t find a replacement for me, then,” Kurt teases. “Maybe New Directions will have an edge then.”
“Nah,” Blaine says confidently. “While I admit that New Direction has the pizazz, the Warblers are still more superior in vocal power. That is what the judges will be looking for.”
Kurt hums thoughtfully. “You may have a point - however, might I remind you how ridiculous you look while hopping around on stage? I’m pretty sure we - you were put through to Regionals out of pity.”
---
Despite their easy conversations through Skype that weekend, Monday finds them nearly incommunicado til dinner time when Kurt texts, You won’t believe this - New Directions is actually ready for Regionals before the eleventh hour! The Warblers had better bring their game faces. ;)
Blaine smiles down at his phone as he imagines Kurt’s shocked expression paired with a disbelieving, sarcastic comment. He knows all about New Directions’ inability to be prepared til the last possible moment from Kurt’s stories about their first year competing. Even that had been hard to pry out of his friend - while Kurt was loyal to the Warblers while at Dalton, he would always be just that bit more loyal to New Directions, despite its many flaws.
He answers the text succinctly as he waits in line for macaroni and cheese: I believe I can speak for the Warblers and say, bring it on.
Fifteen minutes later, his phone buzzes with another text from Kurt. Oh, I believe it’s already been brought. We’ll be wiping you off of the floor afterward.
Blaine can’t stop grinning throughout the rest of dinner.
---
The rest of the week is much of the same. Whether it’s because Blaine himself is busy with a big Latin project or Kurt is busy learning an entirely new set list, neither of them are able to talk for long during the day. At night, Blaine receives hurried texts from Kurt grousing about Mr. Schuester’s inability to concentrate on anything but foiling Coach Sylvester’s plans at ruining glee club.
Their longest conversations come at night between Kurt’s moisturizing routine and Blaine’s head hitting his pillow. They talk of nothing consequential, referencing old in-jokes and events from previous months before finally drifting to sleep, but communication is stilted and slow. The longer they try to talk, the harder it becomes to talk to him. Above all the frustration he feels at not being able to talk to Kurt, Blaine just misses him. It’s a bone-deep hurt and he’d do anything to just give him a hug.
Blaine would be sick with worry if it weren't for Kurt's regularly scheduled status updates. At 7:30 AM there is a rundown of his finalized outfit for the day just before he leaves for school, 2:30 PM takes bets on the predicted glee club shenanigans, and 5:00PM is a mixed bag of heart-healthy recipes, song lyrics, and New Directions in-jokes. Blaine replies with quips about New Directions and recommends some organic cookies for Kurt to try, but doesn’t often get replies back. He can’t be angry, though; he knows how busy Kurt is with his transfer back to New Directions.
When he sleeps, Blaine dreams about Kurt. There’s this opalescent glass separating them and no matter what Blaine does, he can’t get through to just be with Kurt.
---
Blaine is antsy all of Friday and rushes out of practice as soon as Wes dismisses them. It isn’t that he’s particularly excited to go home - no, he’s much more excited to get coffee with Kurt. His weekend bag has been packed since the night before, and it takes less than five minutes to gather his things before he’s racing back to Lima.
The two hour car ride is strange, familiar but foreign at the same time. Before Kurt came to Dalton, he made the drive from Westerville to Lima and back hundreds of times. He spent the entire time practicing his Latin conjugations and periodic table.
When Kurt had transferred, though, the two of them decided that carpooling was more economical. They would switch off each week with one of them driving and the other paying for coffee. They made playlists to listen to throughout the week and tested them out during the weekend. Blaine misses arguing about whose playlist was better that week, getting into singing matches as they pulled off of the highway and into the parking lot of the first Lima Bean on the outskirts of town.
On Sunday, they’d do the drive in reverse with large coffees within arm's reach and softer voices. Kurt would tell him about catching up with his New Directions friends and Blaine would hum a few bars of the newest song he was working on. Eventually, though, Sunday afternoon drives found them quiet and contemplative. It was nice just knowing that there was someone there if he needed to muse aloud.
Without Kurt in the car with him, Blaine’s thoughts go everywhere, from a story that Nick told him the day before to Kurt’s former roommate crowing about having a single room. He wants to tell Kurt everything and he wants to know everything in return. Instead of a mere five days apart, it feels like eternity.
As he's passing through Marysville, Blaine plans out their Lima Bean meeting. They'll meet outside of the coffee shop and maybe Blaine will give Kurt a hug. He does that a lot - randomly embracing Kurt in a tight hug because he can. Though his friends in the Warblers aren't homophobic by any means, they've never allowed Blaine to just hug them on a whim. Kurt's different, though; he's just as touch-starved as Blaine.
After squeezing the stuffing out of Kurt with a hug, they'll enter the cafe, wait in line, and argue over who is paying. With their coffee clutched in their hands, Blaine will lead them to their favorite table and they'll banter and tease each other about whatever that comes to mind. Kurt will probably mock him for wearing his uniform home instead of changing, Blaine will say that it makes him look dashing and that he's just jealous that it makes Kurt look even younger.
Once their rapid-fire retorts are finished, they will fall silent and sip at their cooled-off coffee. Blaine will say, "So how is the motley crew of misfit toys named New Directions? What drama have you all gotten into this week?" Kurt will laugh and update him on the slightly incestuous love-dodecagon that fascinates Blaine so thoroughly. Blaine will listen intently and eat his biscotti, making all of the appropriate remarks at all the right times.
They'll spend an hour gossiping about Kurt's friends. After that, it'll be another moment of silence. Maybe they'll go up for refills and maybe they'll split a rainbow cookie. Blaine will start his share of stories by telling Kurt about his ex-roommate's plans to sneak his girlfriend in now that Kurt is gone. He'll tell Kurt about Wes and David's recent freak out about the set list and all of the creative Victorian insults meant for the absent Kurt.
Hours will pass in the coffee shop. As soon as it's time for Kurt to leave for his Friday dinners, they'll throw their cups away, hug again, and part. Maybe they'll make plans for Sunday morning, breakfast at Breadstix before Blaine heads back to Dalton. Blaine's confident that this will be their new pattern, that this is how he'll get through his week without seeing his best friend.
He parks his car at their usual Lima Bean and has to restrain himself from running to wait at the entrance for Kurt to arrive. Not wanting to scare the other patrons (or make a fool of himself if he's completely honest), Blaine instead takes his sweet time walking to the door, a casual swagger to his hips like he has all the time in the world.
Minutes tick by as Blaine waits for Kurt and he opens to the door for each patron who approaches. As five minutes turns into thirty, he can feel his genuine smile turn into a painfully tacked-on show face. He says, "Good day, ma'am," even as his thoughts turn dark. Maybe something happened to Kurt's dad - maybe something happened to Kurt. Blaine fumbles with his phone in his pocket and calls Kurt as fast as he can.
The phone rings and rings and rings. The dial tone quickly becomes Blaine's least favorite sound; if Kurt isn't able to pick up, then something must have happened. He leaves a message asking Kurt if something happened, that he's worried because Kurt is never late for anything. He tries to keep concern out of his voice throughout the entire message till he finishes with, "Just, just call me back okay?"
Blaine hangs up and waits. When Kurt finally texts him five minutes after Blaine hangs up, Blaine wishes he hadn't. Have to cancel, sorry. It offers no explanation and only serves to increase Blaine's concern.
Not knowing what else to do, Blaine returns home.
---
For the next week, Kurt doesn't answer Blaine's texts. He even stoops so low as to stalk Kurt's friends and watch as they talk via Facebook all week. Eventually, Blaine breaks down and texts Mercedes, Finn, Tina, but they all say the same thing: Sorry, I can’t help you there. You’ll need to talk to him yourself.
Then, it becomes clear: Kurt is avoiding him.
The first person he thinks to confide in is Wes. A least, he tries to, but Wes is drowning in Warblers paperwork and set list changes. For what little Wes is able to advise, he does bring up a good point: If Kurt is avoiding him, what did Blaine do?
Regret rolls in Blaine's gut. Maybe he's annoyed Kurt with all of the texts and calls the previous week. Maybe Kurt no longer needs him now that he's back with his friends. It's different to rely on [twelve] other people than one. Blaine supposes they're better suited for helping Kurt now.
He leaves a message on Kurt's wall. Whatever I did, I'm sorry.
---
On Wednesday, Blaine talks to David.
Or, rather, David lectures him about how to be a boyfriend. He doesn't let Blaine get a word in edgewise and talks over him when Blaine tries to interrupt. He explains that, even if something isn't his fault, apologize anyway.
"But I'm not his boyfriend," Blaine says when David pauses to take a breath.
David snorts and claps him on the shoulder. "You go on coffee dates and argue like an old married couple. Ever since he defected back to McKinley, you've been wandering around campus like a lost puppy, waiting for someone to bring you back to Kurt. Blaine, you two are dating; you just haven't realized it yet."
For the rest of the night, Blaine thinks of Kurt in the context of his boyfriend and finds that it doesn't feel wrong at all.
---
The morning they're supposed to be heading to Columbus to Regionals, Blaine decides to quit.
Rather, Blaine buries his head under his pillow when Wes and David try to wake him up. He says, as dramatically as he can, "Just let me die."
"Warblers don't leave a man behind," David quips. “Especially when that man is our only soloist.” He pulls Blaine's blanket off of his body as Wes tugs at the pillow covering his head. "Get up. Show Kurt that you're the bigger man in this break up, that you aren't effected by this at all."
Blaine groans and curls up into a ball. "But it is effecting me and we never dated in the first place. I totally blew my chance back in February. Why did I have to shove him into the friend zone? Why am I such a coward?"
"We always friend zone the ones we love," Wes says. It takes both he and David all of five seconds to pull Blaine off the bed and into some semblance of standing. "Get up, get dressed, and let's go. We're going to pummel those McKinley brats and then you're going to get Kurt back."
---
It’s obvious that Coach Sylvester has worked Aural Intensity into a perfectly oiled machine. While she may not know much about vocal performance, she knows a lot about movement. Blaine’s only heard of the Cheerios performances from Kurt and from what he can tell, Blaine is seeing a Cheerios performance with vocals.
The vocals are what is going to break them, though. The first song was sloppy and rushed in favor of flips and swing dancing and the second was hardly better than the first. Blaine’s confident that with the Warblers’ ability to create a wall of sound with their voices, they’ll easily beat Aural Intensity and probably New Directions, who relies on one or two soloists to carry the rest of pack.
Blaine straightens his tie once more as the Warblers prepare to step out on stage. He turns around to tell Wes his thoughts on Coach Sylvester’s skills as a glee club director when he sees a flash of movement in the corner of his eye.
Kurt watches him with a slight frown, as if he’s in deep thought. When Kurt's brow furrows, Blaine wants to step toward him and joke, You’ll get wrinkles doing that. Before he can say anything, however, Kurt is ushered back to the green room by Rachel and Wes pushes Blaine onto the stage.
From the moment Wes blows into the pitch pipe and until they step off the stage, Blaine is riding on a current of raw emotions. He wasn’t lying when he said that he better expressed himself through song. Sometimes he has to pull out emotions that he’s long since buried to properly emote a song, but everything he sings and feels is genuine.
Instead of thinking about Jeremiah’s rejection, Blaine thinks about Kurt leaving him, avoiding him. Seeing him back stage, not happy to see him, feels like a slap. He wonders if it’s at all worth it to try to talk to Kurt. Maybe he really is too late.
Then, as soon as the last notes of their set list is lost in the roaring applause from the audience, Blaine lets himself look around. There, standing in the wings, is Kurt. There’s a faint, sad smile on his lips and he wiggles his fingers in greeting. Blaine gets the sudden urge to punch the air in excitement.
He quickly makes his way over to Kurt and envelopes him in a hug. “Kurt.”
Kurt giggles nervously and says hello, patting Blaine’s back stiffly. “You’re hugging the enemy.”
“Don’t care,” Blaine replies, his words muffled by Kurt’s collar. He wants to soak Kurt up, his smell, his touch, his very essence. Blaine had never realized how absolutely dependent he was on Kurt, not just as a best friend but as a point of stability. While the Warblers provided comfort and belonging, they could not match the intimacy Kurt provided. Blaine needs both of them to be strong, the base of a triangle that makes the top point unmoving. Without Kurt, Blaine feels like he’s just hanging in midair, ready to crumble.
He says, “I’ve missed you. I don’t know why you’re avoiding me, but I missed you.”
Kurt pulls back so that they can see eye-to-eye. There’s some emotion that flickers across his face - regret, relief, and possibly sadness wage war against each other on Kurt’s lips and in Kurt’s eyes. “I am so sorry. Can we talk after?”
Blaine’s stomach clenches then, urging him to reach forward and kiss Kurt, tell him that he doesn’t need to explain. So long as Kurt doesn’t leave him again, Blaine couldn’t care why. Instead, Blaine steps out of the circle of Kurt’s arms and takes his hand instead. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Kurt squeezes his hand in response and walks off of the stage with a smile.
---
Blaine grabs a reserved seat in the front row for New Direction’s performance only moments before the band starts up. Though he was unable (and unwilling) to sit for Aural Intensity’s set, Blaine feels this unquestionable need to support Kurt and his teammates and be the first to lead a standing ovation. He also feels slightly nervous, unsure as to what New Directions cooked up for the theme. The catagory was so vast that it’s almost impossible to come up with a really cohesive set list. The Senior Council had deliberated for two weeks about what they’d do for their own performance.
Rachel and Mercedes had been pretty tight-lipped about New Directions' set list whenever the four of them got coffee together before Kurt’s transfer. They’d seemed pretty solid about their plans, though - possibly more solid than even the Warblers had been at that point. However, after Kurt went back to McKinley, the little that Blaine had spoken to Kurt made Blaine think they’d decided to completely scrap their plan of attack and go for something new. “So much for New Directions being ready in advanced for Regionals,” Kurt had said.
The music starts up promptly, a poppy number that Blaine doesn’t recognise. He knows from anecdotes that Mr. Schue has a penchant for obscure 80s music so, since Blaine remains firmly in the Top 40, it isn’t a surprise that it isn’t familiar. When the curtains don’t open automatically, Blaine swivels in his seat and looks towards the back and, yup, there goes Mercedes down the aisle, singing with her usually powerful flair.
Then, to Blaine’s surprise, he hears Kurt’s voice follow hers. On the other side of the aisle, Kurt dances, mimicking the broad movements of Mercedes’ arms and twirling when the notes spike high. The audience around Blaine murmurs excitedly and he can hear the rustle of hundreds of programs just under the music.
There’s a break in the lyrics where Kurt and Mercedes run on stage, the curtains opening to reveal the rest of New Directions poised for their dance. Mercedes sings again as Wes nudges Blaine’s shoulder.
“This is an original song,” he whispers fervently. “This one is written by Kurt, and there are two other original pieces - one by their lead soloist Rachel and the other by some guy named Puck. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Blaine throws Wes a nasty look and grabs the program from his grasp. “Kurt didn’t tell me anything. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but we haven’t exactly seen each other in two weeks.”
The program says exactly what Wes told him: Kurt’s solo was written by him. It showcases not just his own powerful countertenor but also Mercedes’ expert runs. Blaine listens intently at the chorus, amazed at the way the lyrics ebb and flow with the melody. Kurt’s voice crashes over the audience, singing about courage and love. It’s beautiful and terrifying all at once.
The lyrics remind him of when they met, all of the hurt and confusion Kurt had expressed over the month before his transfer, and of the comfortable days spent in Blaine’s dorm room, listening to music and doing homework. The song expresses safety and comfort, but also longing. There is an eerie familiarity to all of it.
Kurt meets his eye during the final bridge and in that moment, Blaine knows that the song is about him.
---
The three choirs have forty minutes after New Directions' set before they need to be on stage to find out who is moving on to Nationals, but Blaine doesn’t want to lose any time talking to Kurt. Once the roaring applause dies down, Blaine shoots towards the stage entrance and looks for Kurt. He’s hard to spot around the dozen or so friends crowded around him, hugging him from all sides.
Blaine taps Rachel’s shoulder and smiles down at her. “Mind if I have a turn?”
She grins up at him and steps away from the crowd. “Okay, people. Back to the green room. I have some critiques I’d like to go over with everyone that will greatly increase our chances of winning Nationals in a few months.”
The rest of the group grumbles and heads to their designated green room, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone in the hallway.
Kurt smiles meekly and says, “Hi.” There’s a moment’s pause where they don’t say anything and Blaine watches as Kurt nervously wrings his hands.
Blaine can’t help himself; he rushes forward and hugs Kurt even tighter than he had when they’d met in the wings less than an hour before. Kurt returns it more confidently than their previous reunion and it makes Blaine’s heart soar.
“You were amazing, Kurt,” he whispers into Kurt’s shoulder. “You wrote that?”
“Yeah,” Kurt says in a small, nervous voice. “I hope you don’t mind if I stole a few ideas from you.”
“I feel honored.”
Kurt’s hold on Blaine’s back tightens. “I was afraid I’d embarrass you or I’d freak you out. I didn’t want to come on too strong.”
“No way,” Blaine assures him, pulling back to look Kurt in the eye. “Not too strong at all. I just - Kurt, I’ve been so dumb. I thought you were mad at me for some reason and then I realized that I totally missed my chance with you. Did you know Wes and David think we’re dating?”
“I know.” The smile Kurt shows him is like a ray of sunshine cutting through Blaine’s anxiety. “I was waiting for you to catch up.”
Blaine laughs and presses a kiss to Kurt’s forehead. He wants to kiss Kurt’s lips instead, and possibly his jaw and his neck and all the way down to his toes, but it probably isn’t the right time yet. Soon, though, Blaine knows that they won’t be able to keep their hands off each other. Instead, he says, “So, winner buys the loser dinner?”
Kurt rolls his eyes affectionately and grabs Blaine’s hand, squeezing it tight. “I hope you don’t mind Breadstix with the rest of New Directions after we win. I’m completely broke.”
---
There are things that Blaine tries to predict, to assume the outcome before it happens. For example, he knew that New Directions was going to win and he knew that Kurt would treat him to dinner at Breadstix. However, Blaine could never have seen his relationship with Kurt developing so smoothly after, and he never figured that it’d be Kurt’s song that would make him brave enough to transfer to McKinley the following year. If someone had told Blaine three years ago that he would be facing his fears by standing up to bullies and helping create a strict anti-harassment policy that rivals Dalton’s, he wouldn’t have believed them.
In the end, he figures it’s all well and good to try and guess an outcome but he can’t really know how things will work out. Sometimes, like when Kurt surprises him with something romantic and thoughtful, Blaine thinks he’s better off surprised.
Highest rating preferred: NC-17
Prompt(s) used: 1. tie-grabbing
3. cage!Dalton
4. long-distance relationship
5. Regionals
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