Merely Not Nothing (Chapter 2/?)
Media: Fic
Title: Merely Not Nothing
Rating: PG-13 I guess. Might go up in later chapters.
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine
Word Count: ~3000 this chapter. ~6000 overall.
Summary: (AU) Blaine Anderson meets Kurt Hummel on a Monday morning in early January, Junior year. Kurt Hummel doesn't acknowledge Blaine Anderson for quite a while after that. (Includes Blaine-who-thinks-he's-straight and social recluse!Kurt).
Chapter 1 is here
Notes: I am very much addicted to writing this story. Here's chapter two, I hope you like it.
Chapter 2
It is another Monday morning when Blaine finds out that the Glee club aren't exactly at the top of the social pyramid. Rachel has managed to sneak him into the girls' bathroom - class has begun, the halls are empty - and they're helping each other wipe the excess slushie.
"Ugh, blue's the worst," Rachel grimaces. "Are you okay?"
Blaine's still in shock, quietly rubbing a paper towel over his forehead. He tries to blink the last remnants of cold out of his eyes. "Rachel, I'm going to go out on a limb here and put forward the notion that Glee kids aren't popular."
Rachel looks abashed. "I thought if I told you, you might not have joined." It's the quietest Blaine's heard her speak so far, and he can't bring himself to be angry at her.
"I've got to get to class," Blaine shivers, the ice seems to have entered his very pores. "I'll see you in rehearsal?" Rachel perks up significantly.
"French."
"Hope your hair dries out," he flashes her a smile before peering round the door. Satisfied nobody's there to witness his emergence, he makes his way to Math.
Sat in French an hour later, Rachel is still quite obviously feeling guilty about the entire debacle. "I really am so sorry, Blaine. I guess they just felt they had to assert their dominance seeing as we kind of got through last week scot free."
"It's cool, Rachel. I like to sing. It's worth a few slushies, no big deal."
He hears a snort coming from Rachel's left. Kurt Hummel is sat at his desk, scribbling out detailed notes on the present participle, a small smirk adorning his lips.
Blaine purses his own lips. "Is something funny?"
Kurt's eyebrows shoot towards his hairline as Blaine addresses him, but he doesn't raise his eyes to meet Blaine's.
"I intend on making it up to you, even so," Rachel continues on, ignoring the short exchange across her desk.
Blaine sits back in his chair once again and opens his mouth to answer.
Kurt Hummel doesn't make another sound for the rest of the lesson.
- o - o - o -
It's in Glee club that Blaine first samples The McKinley Messenger. He enters the choir room later that day, still feeling a little sticky from the slushie, but in a decidedly better mood, and sees Rachel clutching a copy to her chest, deep in conversation with the exceedingly tall boy Blaine has finally identified as Finn. There's a story there, but he doesn't know what it is.
"Hey Rach, can I take a look at that?" Blaine gestures towards the paper. She nods and holds it out to him without stopping the heated discussion she's engaged in.
Blaine unfolds the paper and scans the front page, skimming over the inevitable "Welcome Back!" article by J. Ben-Israel and turning subsequent pages until he finds what he's looking for. It's on page six that he finally comes across a piece by K. Hummel. It's not a "note from the editor" either, it's just a straight news story about the role of religion in school and the separation of church and state. It's pretty damn interesting, actually. Kurt writes in a fluid, biting manner whilst retaining a sense of neutrality. This isn't your average, gossip-filled school paper. But Blaine feels a bit cheated when he reaches the end, having bothered to read this boy's work and still knowing absolutely nothing about him. It's petulant, because really, what was he expecting to learn? It's not as if there was going to be a two page spread entitled "Hey, I'm Kurt Hummel, and this is my life story!"
He flips through the paper again, this time paying more attention to the editing; the layout, headlines, advertisements (he notices one for "Hummel Tire & Lube", which interests him). Then he sees it. Under each photograph accompanying an article, there's a symbol and two tiny words. "© Kurt Hummel."
Blaine examines every photo he can find, all apparently taken by Kurt. They're good, really good. Whilst Kurt's writing is detached, his photography seems quite... personal? There's one of Santana and Brittany leaning against their lockers, gazing at each other. Blaine's mind immediately identifies the picture as a private moment, but there it is, caught on camera. The accompanying article is some rubbish about the cheerleading squad's disproportionate share of the school budget. But the photo is something else, something more. Blaine can't explain it, he just really likes them.
Feeling a little silly paying such close attention to the school paper, he hands the copy back to Rachel and goes to sit next to Tina as Mr. Schuester walks in. He makes a mental note to get a copy the next day.
- o - o - o -
He finds the film on the Wednesday. It's lying there on the scuffed floor by his locker and he decides to pick it up before it gets rolled away and somebody steps on it.
Blaine anticipates the letters before he actually sees them. There's some strange sort of hope rising in him and when he turns the roll of film in his hands and sees them, an airless something he can't identify catches him by surprise. "K.H." is written in permanent marker on the side. Blaine stares at those two letters for longer than necessary, trying to read into them whatever he can. The "K" is curved at the tips, the "H" slanting to the right slightly. He slips it into his bag and heads to Biology.
He sits beside Mike in all his Sciences. Blaine prides himself on being a good judge of character and, sure enough, Mike is just as likeable as Tina. They bond over soccer and dance, have healthy debates about Desperate Housewives, and complain about songs for Glee.
"I mean, Angels? Seriously? I can't believe Mr. Schue thinks that could ever go down well. Robbie Williams is great, but that song performed by a twelve-piece show choir..." Mike hangs his head in his hands and Blaine nods in agreement. Before he has a chance to reply, however, Mike takes the conversation in an entirely new direction. "So when are you going to ask Rachel out?"
Blaine splutters, "I'm sorry, what?!" That sure came out of nowhere.
"I'm serious, man! You're obviously into each other, and she and Finn are finished with. I think it's time to make a move." Mike stares intently at Blaine. Blaine stares back, absolutely baffled.
"Mike, Rachel and I are just friends. I mean, she's great but..."
"But what?" Mike probes.
"I guess I've just never thought about her in that way," Blaine contemplates. It's true, he's never considered Rachel to be anything more than a friend. Besides, they've only known each other nine days. But if he thinks about it objectively, he supposes she's quite pretty. She's got really nice hair, he keeps meaning to ask her which shampoo she uses. And her eyes are very expressive. And her smile... well, she has one! "I suppose I could give it some thought."
Mike grins at him, "I called it."
And Blaine does give it some thought. He gives it a lot of thought, actually, and eventually comes to the conclusion that asking Rachel out is probably the next logical step in their developing friendship. That's what any other guy would do, he reasons. So even though he's not feeling the fireworks or a tug in his gut just yet, he decides to pose the question to her at the end of the school day. Because they're compatible; they both sing; they both enjoy cookies; they both take French. He's got a lot in common with Rachel Berry, and it would be a mistake to pass the opportunity up.
Besides, he's never had a girlfriend before.
It's not as if he's solely asking her out because he's nearly seventeen and hasn't had his first kiss. No, that would be cruel and inconsiderate of him. But he does think it's probably a little weird that he's got this little experience with girls. His stomach twists and he feels a little anxious thinking about it.
When the last bell rings, and Blaine is heading towards his locker, fishing around in his bag once again for his keys, his fingers find the roll of film. Before his brain can catch up with what he's doing, he's making his way across the school to the one place he might find Kurt, who never seems to want to be found.
Blaine can't get over how elusive Kurt seems to be. He's never in the lunchroom, never spotted in the tides of students speeding through the corridors between lessons, never in the parking lot before school. Blaine wonders if he really is just that busy, or if it's something more.
He reaches room 232 before he's really prepared to reach it. He tells himself it's not exactly a difficult situation. All it's going to consist of is "Hey, I think I found your film," and "Thanks." There's not really any room for variation there. But he's a little nervous all the same. Blaine finds Kurt rather intimidating. He's not sure if it's the mystery of him, his evasiveness, or if it's his "above you" demeanor, or how immaculate he always seems to look. But there's something about him that makes Blaine's pulse erratic, and now that he's stood here, looking at room 232, he's not sure he can bring himself to knock.
But, again, his body acts of its own accord, and before he can stop to think about it, he's rapping on the door with two staccato flicks of his wrist.
He hears scuffling and tutting from within the room, which doesn't exactly put him at ease, and braces himself for the turn of the handle.
As the door is opened, slowly and irritably, Blaine tries to catch a glimpse of what's inside the room, but Kurt is stepping out and closing the door before Blaine has a chance to peek his head round.
"Uh, hi!" Blaine tries to plaster on a cheery expression, but Kurt's folded his arms and is tapping his foot and whoa that's a little scary. Blaine gulps. "I think I may have found your film?" He speaks the words as if he's offering them up for Kurt's approval. It's stupid, that he cares this much about making an impression on a complete stranger. He should just shove the film at him and leave.
But then Kurt's shoulders are relaxing and he heaves what seems like an almighty sigh of relief. "Oh thank God!" he breathes, "I thought I'd never see them again." He looks at Blaine with something a lot like gratitude, and then Blaine realizes that Kurt is looking at him for the first time. Weird. He has really nice eyes. Blaine can't decide on a color, but they're nice.
He stops considering Kurt's eyes after five seconds or so, because Kurt is holding out an expectant hand and Blaine realizes he hasn't actually replied. "Hang on a sec, lemme just..." he delves into his bag once more and finds the film, holding it out triumphantly and smiling at Kurt, "There you are."
"Oh my God thank you! I've been looking for them forever," Kurt grabs at the film, all but snatching it from Blaine. "Err, thank you," he says again, smiling hesitantly and looking a little awkward. Blaine thinks it makes a nice change.
He shifts on his feet. Kurt is actually speaking to him. He thinks there should be a chorus of archangels in the corridor screaming Halle-freaking-lujah.
"It's cool, I just thought you might like them back." Blaine mentally smacks himself, way to state the obvious. "They're good, by the way. Your photos. I mean, obviously not those ones because I haven't seen them but I saw the paper today and they're really good."
"Thanks," Kurt laughs a little. "That's nice of you to say."
Blaine notices he's wearing the same scarf that he'd been admiring on his first day. "I like your scarf, wasn't it in this month's-"
"Vogue?" Kurt's giving him a strange look. "Yes, yes it was. Thank you." His eyes linger a while on Blaine, still with that strange look, and then he's glancing back towards room 232 and down at the roll of film in his hand. "Right, I'll see you around," and he's slipping back around the door before Blaine even has a chance to reply.
Blaine didn't think it was possible for Kurt to add another layer of confusing to his personality, but he's succeeded. Kurt Hummel is the single most interesting thing about this entire school, he muses. His fixation with him is odd, he'll admit, but who can blame him, really? Blaine's a sucker for secrets, and Kurt seems to have a ton of them. Hell, he seems to be one.
It's only when Blaine gets home that evening that he realizes his intentions to ask out Rachel Berry had been completely forgotten by the end of the day, and he resolves to do it tomorrow. If he remembers.
He opens up Facebook and browses Rachel's profile for a while, scrolling through her profile pictures and trying to appreciate her looks. She's pretty, Blaine knows it. He knows it, but he still finds it strange that he doesn't feel it. He pauses on one photo in particular. Probably taken over winter vacation, she's stood in the center of Times Square, sporting a red peacoat and black beret. Her arms are spread wide as if she's taking in the whole of New York, and the look of excitement on her face is palpable. Blaine smiles, he's never been to New York. Then his eyes are drawn to a small link underneath the photo: "Kurt Hummel likes this". Blaine deliberates for a moment, mouse hovering over the name. He clicks.
Kurt's profile picture is himself and a woman probably in her mid forties. His arm is around her waist, her head is turned to the side to press a kiss to his cheek. His smile is subdued, but he looks happy. The rest of his pictures are private but Blaine can view his tiny biography:
"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." - Edgar Allen Poe
I take photos and write things.
The corners of Blaine's mouth twitch. How very vague.
He clicks his way out of Kurt's profile, feeling oddly intrusive, and continues to scroll through Rachel's pictures for a while. He realizes there's no guarantee she even likes him back, and considers for a while exactly how devastated he would be if his feelings weren't reciprocated. He can't really imagine how he'd feel. He supposes he'll find out tomorrow if he's rejected. Sometimes rejection happens, he tells himself, that's just life.
Closing down his computer and changing into pajamas, Blaine hums little tunes to himself and slips into bed. He drifts a little, wondering how Kurt gets his hair into that perfect coif every day. Thoughts of Vogue and hairspray turn into lily-white skin and a color he can't define.
And then he's asleep.
- o - o - o -
He meets Rachel at his locker the next day, where she stands with two cups of coffee, and decides he'll ask her the all important question after school. Probably.
Because for now he has some other questions for her, seeing as she's the only one who could possibly provide him with any answers.
"Kurt Hummel," he states, simply, as she hands him his medium drip.
"Is a social recluse," she replies, not giving him anything more to go on. He decides he'll have to be more specific.
"Why?" Yes, flawless skills of interrogation Blaine, well done.
"Why are you so interested?" Rachel quirks an eyebrow and takes a sip of coffee. Blaine tries to stare her down, until she finally sighs and lowers her cup to lean against the lockers. "Kurt is my best friend," she begins, and already Blaine is surprised. Because seriously? They never speak in French, and aside from the two or three times he'd seen them interact in his first week, he's never noticed them acknowledging each others' existence. "He's very dedicated to the paper, and his family, which consists of his dad, and Finn and Finn's mom."
Blaine nearly spits out his mouthful of coffee then. He swallows, "Finn?! Exceedingly tall Finn?" Rachel nods in assent.
"Yes, the wedding was last year, it was beautiful," she smiles, and Blaine thinks he can see something other than nostalgia for the wedding in her eyes. "Anyway, the situation with Kurt is complicated. I'm afraid I can't really tell you the specifics. He joined the paper at the end of Freshman year and he's isolated himself from the rest of society ever since." She gestures with her hand as if you say "and there you have it!" but Blaine isn't satisfied.
"Well I'm making it my aim to figure out the specifics by the end of this semester!" Blaine proclaims. But Rachel grabs him by the arm and pulls him to her, a face like thunder.
"Now you listen to me, Blaine Anderson, you will not bother Kurt. You will not pester him for the details of his private life, you will not force him to become your friend, and if he tells you to back off, you back off. If you do happen to see him between classes, you do not approach him. Do you understand me?" She glares at him.
"Yes," is all he can manage to breathe out. Because seriously, what the hell?
"Good!" Rachel's smile returns, and she takes another sip of her coffee. "Shall we?" She offers her arm to link and Blaine takes it.
"Freaking hobbit couple!" Blaine hears a nondescript guy in a letterman jacket from behind him. The jeers that follow them both down the corridor are familiar now.
It's a Thursday morning in mid-January when Blaine decides that he's got to figure Kurt Hummel out, because Blaine Anderson loves secrets. And Kurt is the best kept secret he's ever seen.