Skin Has Gotten Thicker (But It Burns the Same) 8/?
Media: Fic
Title: Skin Has Gotten Thicker (But It Burns the Same)
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Everything from 2x06 "Never Been Kissed" onward.
Warnings: Badboy!Blaine, so there's a bit of violence and swearing. There's also the situation with Karofsky, which comes with its own set of warnings.
Word Count: 2396
Summary: Kurt Hummel is so used to dealing with his problems by himself, he's forgotten how to let someone help him. Good thing Blaine Anderson is as stubborn as he is.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
"You all right, dude?" Finn asks the next morning, glancing at Kurt with concern. "You look pale-... Um, well. Paler than normal, anyway. And you didn't eat much at breakfast either."
He shrugs in reply as they enter the school. The realization that he's in love with Blaine kept him up all night and now there's a pounding ache inside of his skull. Not only because of his own feelings, but because he's not entirely sure how Blaine feels about him.
Of course, Blaine seems to like him well enough. The tongue in his mouth has been a testament to that, as well as telling Kurt things about his private life he really didn't have to; but is it love? Could he love Kurt? The uncertainty is terrifying.
"If you're sure," Finn says slowly. He doesn't look too convinced, but then Rachel is calling him from across the hall and he bounds over like an overgrown puppy, which would be endearing if Kurt didn't feel so exhausted.
Ignoring a group of girls who glare at him when he reaches his locker before scurrying away, Kurt startles when a body presses up against his back and an arm wraps itself around his waist. "Hi," Blaine murmurs, resting his chin on his shoulder.
"Good morning," Kurt says and tries not to shiver too noticeably when Blaine leans up to blow softly against the shell of his ear. He grabs the textbooks he needs and stuffs them in his bag before attempting to pull himself free. Blaine's hold only tightens, making him blush. "Do you mind?"
"Not at all." Blaine says and sounds too amused for his own good.
Kurt frowns and elbows him hard, only to immediately regret it when he hears a grunt in pain. He whirls around to make sure he didn't hurt Blaine that badly, but the jerk is grinning widely at him. "That didn't hurt, you big baby," he says in an accusing tone.
"I'm in agony! Your elbows are lethal, Kurt," Blaine protests dramatically and feigns a wounded expression.
Rolling his eyes, he reaches out to brush some imaginary lint off the shoulder of Blaine's shirt, wanting just to touch. "Yes, Blaine, I'm a terrible person. How will I ever make it up to you?"
"Well, I wouldn't mind if you kissed me right now."
Breath catching, Kurt stares at him, biting retort lodged in his throat. Blaine is smirking back at him, but the expression in his eyes is sincere and honest. It's clear that he really does want Kurt to kiss him. Right here, in the hallway. In front of all the students around them with their judging looks. His eyes flicker down to Blaine's lips, swallowing hard. Kurt knows there are so many reasons as to why doing this would be a bad idea, but none of that matters when he leans down to gently press their mouths together.
Blaine sighs into the kiss, so quiet and soft he's sure he just imagined it. It only lasts for a moment before they pull back, blinking at each other. He smiles and reaches up to run his knuckles down Kurt's cheek. "You all right, Kurt?"
No. He's trembling and his headache is fiercer than ever and he just kissed Blaine in public and who knows what the consequences will be and and Blaine will hate him for it and-...
"Kurt." Unexpectedly, Blaine pulls him down for another kiss. A hard, closed mouth kiss that makes him dizzy. He tangles his fingers in Blaine's soft curls and kisses him back with everything he has.
"This just makes me want to vomit," a voice says and they jerk away from one another, turning to find Sue Sylvester staring at them with contempt written all over her face. "Hummel, I thought you knew better than that."
Kurt clutches at Blaine's arm when he takes a step forward, eyes blazing. "Coach Sylvester?"
"Physical displays of affection are sickening enough," she continues, clearly not acknowledging Blaine as a threat. "But when I see it in the hallways I reign over, it fills me with the sudden urge to terrorize baby animals and small children."
"Of course," he says slowly. He worries about the safety of defenseless creatures and kids for a brief moment, but is more concerned about Blaine. Thankfully, he seems to realize that Coach Sylvester's problem has more to do with actual romance rather than two gay guys kissing, and calms down. "We'll be sure to keep that in mind."
Sue nods. "I'll be holding you to that," she says and stalks off to yell at a student chewing gum.
Taking Blaine's hand in his, Kurt gives it a squeeze. "Ready to face the mediocre education this backwater town has to offer?" The other boy hums in agreement, all the while glancing somewhere over Kurt's shoulder. He tugs him in the opposite direction and -without thinking- Kurt looks back to see what he saw.
With two black eyes and a plaster over his broken nose, Karofsky stands at the end of the hallway and stares at them, mouth agape and eyes wide.
----
"Now that everyone is here," Mr. Schuester grins when everyone is seated and holds up a piece of paper, "I have our competition for sectionals next month." The girls squeal with delight while Kurt tries to hide his own excitement. But Blaine sees through it easily and bumps their knees together, smiling at him. Biting his lip, he nudges him back as Will places his hideous pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose. "First off, we have the Hipsters. They're a first year club from the Warren Township Continuing Education Program, composed entirely of elderly people getting their high school GED's."
Rachel loudly voices her confusion about the legality of it while Mercedes complains about the injustice of competing with adorable old people. Puckerman makes an off-handed comment on how easily aged bones break, but everyone ignores him when Mr. Schuester turns back to the paper in his hand.
"And an acapella choir group from the all-boys private school in Westerville-..."
Kurt feels Blaine tense up beside him and glances over at him, curious as to his reaction.
"-The Dalton Academy Warblers."
Santana snorts and makes a remark about all the gay jokes she could make, but Kurt hardly hears her. He's staring at Blaine, who has his jaw clenched and fists pressed against his knees. Throughout the entire lesson, Kurt worries about him and -as soon as they're dismissed- quickly grabs his bag and hurries after when Blaine storms out the room.
Kurt calls after him, but he doesn't even slow down until they reach his car. Blaine throws himself into the driver's seat and digs out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, fumbling to place one in his mouth with shaking fingers. Climbing in on the passenger side, Kurt snatches the cigarettes away and keeps them out of reach. "Blaine, please. Talk to me." He holds trembling hands in his own and then it clicks. "This is about the Warblers, isn't it?"
A barked laugh escapes Blaine's lips as he looks up at him, eyes pained. Then, in a small voice, he says quietly, "You should leave, Kurt."
Heart clenching in his chest, hurt to be dismissed so easily when all he wants to do is help, Kurt shakes his head. "No," he says. He's proud that his voice doesn't waver. "I want to stay with you." Besides, who knew what sort of trouble Blaine might get himself into, emotional and angry as he is?
Blaine narrows his eyes a little and pulls free from Kurt's grasp. Wordlessly, he starts the ignition before pulling out of the school parking lot. Kurt worries for a moment that he might start careening down the street, swerving between cars and running red lights, but -instead- he drives responsibly. Carefully. Like he has no real destination in mind, but is driving for the sake of driving. The scenery outside the window changes from concrete and street signs to lush fields and towering trees. Just when Kurt is about to ask where they're going, Blaine pulls on to a dirt road that leads up to the top of a large hill before finally stopping the car. It overlooks a large lake, the water sparkling blue in the sunlight that has Kurt climbing out to admire. Blaine stands beside him, following his gaze to open sky and clear water, before taking his hand and tugging him forward. "I found this place by accident," he admits. His voice is soft, like he's sharing a secret. "But now I always come here when I just need to think. For some reason, it helps clear my head."
"It's beautiful," Kurt murmurs. Blaine tugs on his hand as he sits down on the grass, but that results in Kurt immediately frowning at him. Doesn't he have any idea how much these pants cost? There's no way he's getting grass stains on them.
As if reading his mind, Blaine rolls his eyes and slips off his jacket, laying it down for Kurt to sit on. "Will that be all, your highness?" he asks, so dry and sarcastic that Kurt almost takes offense.
Almost. "It'll suffice," he says as haughtily as he can. He smiles in triumph when Blaine grins with amusement, but then looks away, suddenly all too aware of how close they're sitting. Alone. On a grassy hilltop he didn't even know existed until now.
"Kurt." He startles when a hand settles gently over his knee. He almost forgets how to breathe when Blaine leans in very, very close. "Kurt."
"Will you tell me what's bothering you now?" And, yes. Perhaps it's not the most brilliant idea to force Blaine to discuss his problems, but Kurt knows at this point he's just trying to stall the inevitable. So he pushes back, because he cares. He wants to help.
Blaine stares at him, hazel eyes searching for something, but he can't figure out what. Neither of them says a word for a long moment before Blaine reaches up, running his fingers gently over his cheek. "You have no idea how brave you are, Kurt," he says at last. "But me, I run away from my problems. All I've ever done is run away."
He rests his hand over the one on his knee and gives it a squeeze. "You didn't ask to be kicked out of your previous schools." It's not like he asked to be assaulted, or punished when he tried to help a friend.
"Maybe not," Blaine admits softly. "But when I look at you I think about what you go through every single day and I honestly don't know how you've managed this far."
"Things have gotten better since you transferred here," Kurt says, feeling suddenly shy. "I feel like I don't have to deal with it alone."
The hand beneath his begins to tremble slightly. "That's what I'm worried about. If-... When I see the Warblers again, I'll only be reminded about how I ran away. I left, when I might have been able to resolve things, and I'm so goddamned ashamed about it. I don't want you to see that side of me."
I don't want you to see me vulnerable, Kurt hears. And, to a certain extent, he understands, because -before Blaine- he's tried so hard not to show how the bullying had been affecting him, so he never mentioned it to his family or his friends. But, within just the few days, Blaine has seen so many of Kurt's insecurities and fears. It's only fair that he do the same for him. "I would never judge you, Blaine."
Blaine's eyes flicker down to their hands and stares in a way that makes Kurt's heart pound painfully against his ribcage. "I want to believe that," he murmurs.
"I'll never give you a reason to doubt me," Kurt says firmly. Then, before he loses his nerve, he lifts his free hand and runs his fingers through those wild curls, unable to help himself. Blaine looks up and there's something in his bright hazel eyes that has Kurt leaning forward. And, when Blaine makes no move to pull away, he kisses him softly.
He doesn't intend for things to go further than that, except Blaine chooses that moment to open his mouth and Kurt licks inside without thinking. When Blaine makes a breathless sort of noise, he tries to pull back, thinking he did something wrong, but he slides his hand out from underneath Kurt's and cups the back of his head to pull him in closer, deeper. When that breathless noise escapes Blaine's lips once more, Kurt can't help but marvel at it.
Suddenly, Blaine does something amazing with his tongue, causing Kurt to moan, his face flushed and stomach twisting with want. He clutches at his shoulders while Blaine's hands slide down his back, beneath his shirt, to trace the waistband of his pants. It makes Kurt pull away with a gasp, embarrassed and a little scared. His headache, which had been bearable until now, seems to intensify.
"God, Kurt." Blaine brushes his lips over the skin of Kurt's neck, causing him to shiver, before leaning back to meet his gaze. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"
Blushing, Kurt stares down at Blaine's chest, unsure how to respond. Him? Beautiful? The idea was almost laughable. Unable to find his voice, he instead runs his fingers over the skin peeking through the collar of his shirt and says nothing.
Blaine gently tilts his face until he looks back at him. "You're gorgeous, Kurt," he says firmly, as if determined to make Kurt believe him.
"Well, you're braver than you give yourself credit for," he replies with a smile. He slips out of Blaine's hold and stands, offering his hand to help him up. "Please compete with us at Sectionals."
"It sounds like you only want me around to help you guys win." Blaine pouts as he lets himself be pulled to his feet, stooping to pick up his jacket and shaking it out.
"Don't be ridiculous," he says, pretending to be serious. "The New Directions' secret weapon is me." Blaine laughs and Kurt thinks, more earnestly, Besides, it'll be good for you to resolve that part of your past.
--
Sorry for being so late with this chapter. But thanks again to everyone who takes the time to read this story. It really means a lot!
Title: Skin Has Gotten Thicker (But It Burns the Same)
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Everything from 2x06 "Never Been Kissed" onward.
Warnings: Badboy!Blaine, so there's a bit of violence and swearing. There's also the situation with Karofsky, which comes with its own set of warnings.
Word Count: 2396
Summary: Kurt Hummel is so used to dealing with his problems by himself, he's forgotten how to let someone help him. Good thing Blaine Anderson is as stubborn as he is.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
"You all right, dude?" Finn asks the next morning, glancing at Kurt with concern. "You look pale-... Um, well. Paler than normal, anyway. And you didn't eat much at breakfast either."
He shrugs in reply as they enter the school. The realization that he's in love with Blaine kept him up all night and now there's a pounding ache inside of his skull. Not only because of his own feelings, but because he's not entirely sure how Blaine feels about him.
Of course, Blaine seems to like him well enough. The tongue in his mouth has been a testament to that, as well as telling Kurt things about his private life he really didn't have to; but is it love? Could he love Kurt? The uncertainty is terrifying.
"If you're sure," Finn says slowly. He doesn't look too convinced, but then Rachel is calling him from across the hall and he bounds over like an overgrown puppy, which would be endearing if Kurt didn't feel so exhausted.
Ignoring a group of girls who glare at him when he reaches his locker before scurrying away, Kurt startles when a body presses up against his back and an arm wraps itself around his waist. "Hi," Blaine murmurs, resting his chin on his shoulder.
"Good morning," Kurt says and tries not to shiver too noticeably when Blaine leans up to blow softly against the shell of his ear. He grabs the textbooks he needs and stuffs them in his bag before attempting to pull himself free. Blaine's hold only tightens, making him blush. "Do you mind?"
"Not at all." Blaine says and sounds too amused for his own good.
Kurt frowns and elbows him hard, only to immediately regret it when he hears a grunt in pain. He whirls around to make sure he didn't hurt Blaine that badly, but the jerk is grinning widely at him. "That didn't hurt, you big baby," he says in an accusing tone.
"I'm in agony! Your elbows are lethal, Kurt," Blaine protests dramatically and feigns a wounded expression.
Rolling his eyes, he reaches out to brush some imaginary lint off the shoulder of Blaine's shirt, wanting just to touch. "Yes, Blaine, I'm a terrible person. How will I ever make it up to you?"
"Well, I wouldn't mind if you kissed me right now."
Breath catching, Kurt stares at him, biting retort lodged in his throat. Blaine is smirking back at him, but the expression in his eyes is sincere and honest. It's clear that he really does want Kurt to kiss him. Right here, in the hallway. In front of all the students around them with their judging looks. His eyes flicker down to Blaine's lips, swallowing hard. Kurt knows there are so many reasons as to why doing this would be a bad idea, but none of that matters when he leans down to gently press their mouths together.
Blaine sighs into the kiss, so quiet and soft he's sure he just imagined it. It only lasts for a moment before they pull back, blinking at each other. He smiles and reaches up to run his knuckles down Kurt's cheek. "You all right, Kurt?"
No. He's trembling and his headache is fiercer than ever and he just kissed Blaine in public and who knows what the consequences will be and and Blaine will hate him for it and-...
"Kurt." Unexpectedly, Blaine pulls him down for another kiss. A hard, closed mouth kiss that makes him dizzy. He tangles his fingers in Blaine's soft curls and kisses him back with everything he has.
"This just makes me want to vomit," a voice says and they jerk away from one another, turning to find Sue Sylvester staring at them with contempt written all over her face. "Hummel, I thought you knew better than that."
Kurt clutches at Blaine's arm when he takes a step forward, eyes blazing. "Coach Sylvester?"
"Physical displays of affection are sickening enough," she continues, clearly not acknowledging Blaine as a threat. "But when I see it in the hallways I reign over, it fills me with the sudden urge to terrorize baby animals and small children."
"Of course," he says slowly. He worries about the safety of defenseless creatures and kids for a brief moment, but is more concerned about Blaine. Thankfully, he seems to realize that Coach Sylvester's problem has more to do with actual romance rather than two gay guys kissing, and calms down. "We'll be sure to keep that in mind."
Sue nods. "I'll be holding you to that," she says and stalks off to yell at a student chewing gum.
Taking Blaine's hand in his, Kurt gives it a squeeze. "Ready to face the mediocre education this backwater town has to offer?" The other boy hums in agreement, all the while glancing somewhere over Kurt's shoulder. He tugs him in the opposite direction and -without thinking- Kurt looks back to see what he saw.
With two black eyes and a plaster over his broken nose, Karofsky stands at the end of the hallway and stares at them, mouth agape and eyes wide.
----
"Now that everyone is here," Mr. Schuester grins when everyone is seated and holds up a piece of paper, "I have our competition for sectionals next month." The girls squeal with delight while Kurt tries to hide his own excitement. But Blaine sees through it easily and bumps their knees together, smiling at him. Biting his lip, he nudges him back as Will places his hideous pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose. "First off, we have the Hipsters. They're a first year club from the Warren Township Continuing Education Program, composed entirely of elderly people getting their high school GED's."
Rachel loudly voices her confusion about the legality of it while Mercedes complains about the injustice of competing with adorable old people. Puckerman makes an off-handed comment on how easily aged bones break, but everyone ignores him when Mr. Schuester turns back to the paper in his hand.
"And an acapella choir group from the all-boys private school in Westerville-..."
Kurt feels Blaine tense up beside him and glances over at him, curious as to his reaction.
"-The Dalton Academy Warblers."
Santana snorts and makes a remark about all the gay jokes she could make, but Kurt hardly hears her. He's staring at Blaine, who has his jaw clenched and fists pressed against his knees. Throughout the entire lesson, Kurt worries about him and -as soon as they're dismissed- quickly grabs his bag and hurries after when Blaine storms out the room.
Kurt calls after him, but he doesn't even slow down until they reach his car. Blaine throws himself into the driver's seat and digs out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, fumbling to place one in his mouth with shaking fingers. Climbing in on the passenger side, Kurt snatches the cigarettes away and keeps them out of reach. "Blaine, please. Talk to me." He holds trembling hands in his own and then it clicks. "This is about the Warblers, isn't it?"
A barked laugh escapes Blaine's lips as he looks up at him, eyes pained. Then, in a small voice, he says quietly, "You should leave, Kurt."
Heart clenching in his chest, hurt to be dismissed so easily when all he wants to do is help, Kurt shakes his head. "No," he says. He's proud that his voice doesn't waver. "I want to stay with you." Besides, who knew what sort of trouble Blaine might get himself into, emotional and angry as he is?
Blaine narrows his eyes a little and pulls free from Kurt's grasp. Wordlessly, he starts the ignition before pulling out of the school parking lot. Kurt worries for a moment that he might start careening down the street, swerving between cars and running red lights, but -instead- he drives responsibly. Carefully. Like he has no real destination in mind, but is driving for the sake of driving. The scenery outside the window changes from concrete and street signs to lush fields and towering trees. Just when Kurt is about to ask where they're going, Blaine pulls on to a dirt road that leads up to the top of a large hill before finally stopping the car. It overlooks a large lake, the water sparkling blue in the sunlight that has Kurt climbing out to admire. Blaine stands beside him, following his gaze to open sky and clear water, before taking his hand and tugging him forward. "I found this place by accident," he admits. His voice is soft, like he's sharing a secret. "But now I always come here when I just need to think. For some reason, it helps clear my head."
"It's beautiful," Kurt murmurs. Blaine tugs on his hand as he sits down on the grass, but that results in Kurt immediately frowning at him. Doesn't he have any idea how much these pants cost? There's no way he's getting grass stains on them.
As if reading his mind, Blaine rolls his eyes and slips off his jacket, laying it down for Kurt to sit on. "Will that be all, your highness?" he asks, so dry and sarcastic that Kurt almost takes offense.
Almost. "It'll suffice," he says as haughtily as he can. He smiles in triumph when Blaine grins with amusement, but then looks away, suddenly all too aware of how close they're sitting. Alone. On a grassy hilltop he didn't even know existed until now.
"Kurt." He startles when a hand settles gently over his knee. He almost forgets how to breathe when Blaine leans in very, very close. "Kurt."
"Will you tell me what's bothering you now?" And, yes. Perhaps it's not the most brilliant idea to force Blaine to discuss his problems, but Kurt knows at this point he's just trying to stall the inevitable. So he pushes back, because he cares. He wants to help.
Blaine stares at him, hazel eyes searching for something, but he can't figure out what. Neither of them says a word for a long moment before Blaine reaches up, running his fingers gently over his cheek. "You have no idea how brave you are, Kurt," he says at last. "But me, I run away from my problems. All I've ever done is run away."
He rests his hand over the one on his knee and gives it a squeeze. "You didn't ask to be kicked out of your previous schools." It's not like he asked to be assaulted, or punished when he tried to help a friend.
"Maybe not," Blaine admits softly. "But when I look at you I think about what you go through every single day and I honestly don't know how you've managed this far."
"Things have gotten better since you transferred here," Kurt says, feeling suddenly shy. "I feel like I don't have to deal with it alone."
The hand beneath his begins to tremble slightly. "That's what I'm worried about. If-... When I see the Warblers again, I'll only be reminded about how I ran away. I left, when I might have been able to resolve things, and I'm so goddamned ashamed about it. I don't want you to see that side of me."
I don't want you to see me vulnerable, Kurt hears. And, to a certain extent, he understands, because -before Blaine- he's tried so hard not to show how the bullying had been affecting him, so he never mentioned it to his family or his friends. But, within just the few days, Blaine has seen so many of Kurt's insecurities and fears. It's only fair that he do the same for him. "I would never judge you, Blaine."
Blaine's eyes flicker down to their hands and stares in a way that makes Kurt's heart pound painfully against his ribcage. "I want to believe that," he murmurs.
"I'll never give you a reason to doubt me," Kurt says firmly. Then, before he loses his nerve, he lifts his free hand and runs his fingers through those wild curls, unable to help himself. Blaine looks up and there's something in his bright hazel eyes that has Kurt leaning forward. And, when Blaine makes no move to pull away, he kisses him softly.
He doesn't intend for things to go further than that, except Blaine chooses that moment to open his mouth and Kurt licks inside without thinking. When Blaine makes a breathless sort of noise, he tries to pull back, thinking he did something wrong, but he slides his hand out from underneath Kurt's and cups the back of his head to pull him in closer, deeper. When that breathless noise escapes Blaine's lips once more, Kurt can't help but marvel at it.
Suddenly, Blaine does something amazing with his tongue, causing Kurt to moan, his face flushed and stomach twisting with want. He clutches at his shoulders while Blaine's hands slide down his back, beneath his shirt, to trace the waistband of his pants. It makes Kurt pull away with a gasp, embarrassed and a little scared. His headache, which had been bearable until now, seems to intensify.
"God, Kurt." Blaine brushes his lips over the skin of Kurt's neck, causing him to shiver, before leaning back to meet his gaze. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"
Blushing, Kurt stares down at Blaine's chest, unsure how to respond. Him? Beautiful? The idea was almost laughable. Unable to find his voice, he instead runs his fingers over the skin peeking through the collar of his shirt and says nothing.
Blaine gently tilts his face until he looks back at him. "You're gorgeous, Kurt," he says firmly, as if determined to make Kurt believe him.
"Well, you're braver than you give yourself credit for," he replies with a smile. He slips out of Blaine's hold and stands, offering his hand to help him up. "Please compete with us at Sectionals."
"It sounds like you only want me around to help you guys win." Blaine pouts as he lets himself be pulled to his feet, stooping to pick up his jacket and shaking it out.
"Don't be ridiculous," he says, pretending to be serious. "The New Directions' secret weapon is me." Blaine laughs and Kurt thinks, more earnestly, Besides, it'll be good for you to resolve that part of your past.
--
Sorry for being so late with this chapter. But thanks again to everyone who takes the time to read this story. It really means a lot!