Kurt barely lifted his head when he heard his door creak open. The voice that softly called his name though made him lift his head in confusion. There standing in his doorway was Blaine looking worried as his eyes took in Kurt's state. It took Kurt a moment to realize what Blaine was seeing; not only was Kurt curled on his bed, eyes red rimmed and hair disheveled, but he was shirtless only wearing a thin pair of pajama pants. Kurt couldn't find it in himself to blush.
"Are you okay?" Blaine asked moving slowly towards Kurt.
"No.." Kurt mumbled.
"Can I help?" Blaine asked.
And like a floodgate opening, Kurt babbled to Blaine all that he had been feeling. Somewhere throughout the exchange, Blaine had sat on the bed and Kurt began to use his lap as a pillow. Blaine began scratching his blunt nails gently against Kurt's spine. When Kurt's words died out, it hit him what Blaine was doing and the clench around his heart eased a bit.
"It's a year Kurt;, that is all you have lost really, one year. Who knows where you will be next year. And in the mean time, you still have me. And aren't Artie, Tina and Sam juniors? Plus your dad and Carole aren't going anywhere. Besides, they aren't leaving you behind, not really, you can still call and text them, it won't be that different."
"But what about next year? What are you going to do then? I don't think I'll even be able to leave then, and I'm sure you won't want to stay in Lima forever." Kurt asked quietly.
"I don't know." Blaine whispered, "but we have a whole year to figure that out. Don't push me away because of what might or might not happen next year."
"I wasn't," Kurt said, arching his back at the feel of Blaine's fingers still scratching up and down his spine and between the junctures of his wings. "I just couldn't... It wasn't you, I just couldn't do anything. I'm sorry if you thought..."
"Hey, I'm not mad, I was just worried."
Blaine sat with Kurt as long as he could, until he knew if he didn't leave he would miss curfew. They didn't talk much more, but knowing Blaine was there eased the ache a bit more.
The next day, Kurt did something he had never done before. He not only forced himself out of bed but down the stairs and out his front door. He needed to try something, needed to see if maybe the wings could give him something instead of just taking away. He stood in the warm morning breeze and began to beat his wings. Nothing happened for a moment, only Kurt standing in his yard feeling silly and naive. Then he saw a small sparrow take off from near by, he watched its movements and decided to match them. He flapped his wings again lifting himself up on his toes and rose in the air. It was sloppy and he didn't go far, but he did it. He flew.
Kurt had something to focus on again and he forced himself to practice, to fight from giving in to his depression. He didn't tell anyone though, needing to keep something for himself, but also not wanting to let anyone down if he failed. No one had to know but him. He would text Blaine he was sewing or about to take a test and then go out into his yard and try again and again. When he finally showed them, he wanted to be perfect, he wanted to make them proud.
Finn's graduation passed, and still Kurt did not tell anyone of his new skill. He hadn't wanted to take anything away from Finn. He knew though that he would not be able to practice anymore without someone noticing not with school ending. The Sunday after Finn's graduation, as they finished up lunch, Kurt cleared his throat, gaining the tables attention. "When we're finished, can we go outside, I have something to show you?" Kurt asked, earning a concern look from his father, but curious looks from everyone else. The dishes lay abandoned on the table in everyone's haste to see what Kurt was talking about. For his part, Kurt was torn; part of him wanted to rush so that he could show everyone what he could do, but the other part was afraid it had been some fluke and he would fall flat on his face. He knew however that that would not happen, he had been successful for weeks on end, and had only gotten better.
He stood before his family and Blaine, his hands clasped in front of him. Their expectant faces made his stomach roll, but he pushed on. "So I... um I was having a hard time a few weeks ago... with Finn graduating and everyone else. It was hard not just blaming everything on the wings... no, on myself. My wings, they are a part of me, and I need to stop thinking that they aren't, they aren't some other... they are just as much a part of my as my arm or leg..." He looked to see concerned, worried faces staring back. He needed to get back on track. "Anyway, it got me thinking, I wanted my wings to bring something to my life... so I tried... and it worked, it helped. Just..… just watch." When he finished the took a step back and closed his eyes to push the rest of his nerves away.
He opened his eyes and looked up just as he spread his wings wide. In a breath he took flight. He didn't fly high, he couldn't not without fear of being spied over the tree troops surrounding their home, but he swooped in the air above their heads. He couldn't look at them, he was afraid if he saw anything but joy on their faces he would falter and fall. When he landed a minute later, he did so with his back to the group, so he was surprised when sounds of excitement filled the air and hands sought his back and shoulders, clutching and patting him in equal measures. When he turned the first thing he saw was Blaine's face, tears sparkling in his eyes moments before he was pulled into a hug a whispered, "I am so proud of you" in his ear.
"Wow that was something." His dad said beaming once Blaine let him go. It was a simple statement, but Kurt knew that his father was proud.
They all asked questions and spent an hour outside together talking about the new feat. Blaine was quiet for the most part;, his eyes sparkled with mirth, so Kurt was not worried When the rest of Kurt's family had returned inside, Kurt turned once more to Blaine. He smiled shyly.
"I hope you're not mad I didn't tell you," Kurt told him.
Blaine beamed back, "Of course not, it was a wonderful surprise. You.. you amaze me Kurt."
"I love you," Kurt sighed back, only to realize what he said as soon as the words left his mouth. He couldn't take them back though, because it was true. He never thought he would find love, at least not until he left Ohio. That sliver of hope was taken away so long ago in a hospital room when his world changed in the blink of an eye. He thought he would never have this, and then there was Blaine. He didn't not stammer out an apology. He didn't worry if Blaine wouldn’t say it back, his feelings were his own and it didn’t matter if Blaine was there yet or not, his feelings wouldn’t change. He stood there and smiled at Blaine, hoping he would see that what he said was true.
Blaine’s face softened, the excitement calmer but not dimmed. “I love you too, Kurt. Oh my god, but I love you so much.” The kiss they shared was gentle but laced with a passion that hadn’t been there before.
It was early morning, the house quiet. Finn was asleep and Kurt was just trudging down the stairs, still in his pajama pants, to make breakfast for himself. His dad and stepmom had left hours ago to head to work, so nothing seemed to move in the house. Kurt was still groggy, having spent most of the night night before on the phone with Blaine. When Kurt thought about it, he was still amazed that after spending most days the past few weeks of summer vacation together, they could still talk until the wee hours of the morning without falter. He was just popping a bagel into the toaster when the front door slammed open breaking the gentle silence around it. Kurt jumped and turned just in time to see Blaine skidding into the kitchen, disheveled and out of breath.
"Blaine, what the..." Kurt began clutching his heart. He hadn't expected to see Blaine so early;, he usually didn't come until around ten once they both had a chance to fully wake up.
"Did you see?" Blaine asked, his words cut short by his panting breath.
"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked taking in Blaine's appearance fully for the first time since he burst into the room. His hair was a halo of loose, messy curls around his head. A wrinkled grey shirt and flannel sleep pants covered his body while his feet were stuck in a pair of ratty old flip flops. Kurt had never seen him so rumpled,rumpled; he looked as if he had just rolled out of bed. It was his face though that sent a shock of panic through him; his eyes were wide, darting around the room as if he couldn't calm himself to let them rest on one place for more than a moment, his brow was furrowed and lines etched his face, and he seemed to be shaking. Kurt took a step forward and lifted a hand to him in offer, it was taken up immediately. "Please Blaine, you're scaring me, please talk to me."
Blaine seemed to shake himself out of wherever his mind was stuck. "The news, have you watched the news this morning?" He asked squeezing Kurt's hand tight.
"No, I just got up. What's happened?"
Blaine grabbed Kurt's other hand, and more panic shot through him, what could have happened to put Blaine in this state? "My parents woke me up early to have breakfast together. And the news was playing in the kitchen. I just, I ran out, I had to tell you..."
"Tell me what Blaine?" Kurt practically yelled, overcome by nerves and fear.
"A girl in England, she has wings." Blaine whispered.
His breakfast abandoned they rushed to the living room to switch on the news. For hours the newscasters kept repeating the same information over and over, the same facts and theories. Still the boys watched and talked. By the time Finn clambered down the stairs though the television was black and Kurt was pacing the room while Blaine watched nervously toying with his fingers. Catching sight of them, Finn quickly excused himself and left the house with little explanation.
Kurt was lost in his own mind again,again; they had discussed the facts but little more. He wasn't sure what to think about this new revelation.. He wasn't alone anymore, there was someone else going through what he had. That didn't guarantee acceptance though, that didn't mean they wouldn't still be ridiculed for what they were.
"What are you thinking Kurt?" Blaine asked breaking him from his thoughts.
"What does this mean?" Kurt asked in return.
Blaine stood and pulled Kurt to sit next to him on the couch. "Well we know now that gender doesn't play a role in their formation. Age may be a factor since she was 16 as well, but nothing can be proven yet. They said she identifies as straight so sexuality may not be a factor, but that may not be one hundred percent accurate. But Kurt, what we do know. One thing they made perfectly clear; she had no previous trauma to her back or spine, no undue stress either. You know what that means right?"
Kurt shook his head although he had thought the same thing; he needed Blaine to say it, he needed to hear Blaine say the words that he had longed to hear for so long.
"It means that the bullying, it has nothing to do with your wings. They would have come anyway. It was not a mutation brought on by stress or trauma; they have nothing to do with being bullied." Blaine's soft fingers swiped away the tears Kurt didn't know he had let fall.
A wave of relief washed over him and his heart felt freer than it had in almost two years. Like the dam had been broken, tears flowed freely down Kurt's face. He sobbed for all he had lost in this unfounded fear. He cried for the lonely boy he was before the wings came and for the man he was now. He cried because for the first time he could like his wings without feeling like he was finding an ugly scar beautiful. Then he cried for the girl who was probably scared and lonely like he was not too long ago. With a shuddered breath he calmed himself and said, "We need to call my dad."
After a quick, and surprisingly calm call to his father, Kurt finally calmed settled down enough to keep himself from fidgeting and pacing, and looked over at his boyfriend once more. He couldn't hold in the giggle that bubbled up deep within him.
"What?" Blaine asked a smile leaping to his face.
"Look at you," Kurt laughed his face a picture of mirth. "I think this is the first time I've see you without all that gel in your hair."
Blaine's hands immediately flew to his head as if by covering it up now would erase its memory from Kurt's mind. "Oh my god, I just ran out of my house. I wasn't even thinking. My parents must think I've gone crazy and my god what you must think of me..."
"I think you are amazing, bushy hair and all." Kurt said leaning in for a kiss.
Blaine barely got a "hey" out before their lips connected.
When he pulled back Kurt just smiled at Blaine's dumbfounded face, "If you can get used to my wings and everything that has come with them, then I think I can get used to those beautiful curls."
"Well not everything that came with the wings is so bad," Blaine smirked running a hand over Kurt's still bare chest.
Kurt blushed, "I think we should probably put some real clothes on before my dad gets here, which should be any minute."
Real clothes for Blaine consisted of a pair of Kurt's shorts and one of the few t-shirts he still hadn't altered for himself. They had barely returned downstairs before Burt was walking in the door clearly anxious about what Kurt wanted to talk to him about.
"I can't believe the one morning I don't listen to the radio is the day this happens," he murmurs as he motions for the boys to sit. "So tell me what you're thinking, Kurt, because I sure as hell can't guess with you anymore."
Kurt took a deep breath before speaking, trying to steal all his nerves. Beside him Blaine looked just as anxious as his father. They hadn't discussed this. He hadn't wanted to disappoint Blaine if he couldn't go through with it. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he had to, he couldn't let her think she was alone. Kurt Hummel held his head high and said, "I think it's time I came out. I can't let her feel as alone as I did. I can't hide anymore."
Burt was wary at first, afraid that it would be too much for his son to handle, but Kurt would not relent. They started out small, but it almost felt as huge to Kurt and Blaine as facing the whole world. Burt insisted that first they tell Blaine's parents. Burt had already made arrangements through Kurt's doctors for them to meet with the press the next morning, but first he had to survive a dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Anderson.
Blaine didn't leave Kurt's side as they prepared dinner and got ready for his parents to arrive. Kurt often found himself reaching for Blaine’s hand needing the support at odd times when the realization hit him with what he was about to do. During those times he thought maybe his dad had a point. Then again, these were the people who loved Blaine, even if they didn't always express it in the best ways, their approval meant more than the rest of the world.
Kurt was pacing around his room when he heard the doorbell ring. His heart and feet stopped at the sound. Blaine was by his side in an instant. "It will be okay, I promise. No matter what happens tonight, I love you and nothing will change that."
They walked downstairs to hear Burt and Carole greeting Claude and Marion Anderson. "So where are the boys?" Marion's voice drifted through the doorway.
Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand before entering the room with an air of confidence that belied the nervous flip of his stomach. "Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, what a pleasure to finally meet you, I'm Kurt."
All the adults froze as Kurt offered his hand to Blaine's parents. Mrs. Anderson's hand flew to her heart and it seemed all Mr. Anderson could do was blink. "You have wings," Marion finally said her face still dumbfounded.
That did it, a hearty laugh broke out of Kurt unbidden. A shocked snort from Burt came as a reply and soon the whole room was a symphony of giggles, laughs and guffaws. As the laughter ebbed Kurt said, "Yes ma'am, I do. I think now you may understand why we haven't met earlier."
In that moment, Kurt knew that everything would be okay. They may not always be great, he may still have hateful words thrown out of him, but sometimes it will be easier than he expected.
They left the house early the next morning under the cover of darkness. His doctors had arranged a news conference from a conference room in Lima General Hospital. It wouldn't begin for hours, but Kurt couldn't bring himself to travel where others might see him yet. He wanted the news to come from him, not some random passerby who happened to snap a picture. Blaine was still home in bed, neither set of parent agreeing to their pleas to let him spend the night, no matter how innocent a request it really was. He yearned for Blaine's comforting touch but as he sat cramped in the back seat of his Navigator, he was glad for a little extra space. He mused that maybe if more people grew wings, maybe someone would make a car built to accommodate them comfortably.
Security was tight, only hospital personnel allowed in the holding area behind the conference room. Kurt paced as he tried to ignore the stares of the security guards and doctors that milled around the area. Too many times had one doctor or another offered to examine him, all of which Kurt refused. It seemed like hours before Dr. Fitzhammond was patting him gently on the shoulder telling him that it was time. He would be introducing Kurt and the rest was up to him.
Kurt stood just inside the holding area and listened to Dr. Fitzhammond speak, "Thank you all for coming today. I am Dr. Fitzhammond, head of general medicine here at Lima General Hospital. I know that our invitation to you was vague but that was by the request of our patient, Mr. Kurt Hummel, I will allow him to explain. Ladies and Gentlemen, Kurt Hummel."
Kurt shook as he entered the room, the gasps and camera flashes doing nothing to ease him. Then his eyes caught on a familiar pair of hazel eyes across the room and he found a new resolve.
He caught Blaine mouthing ‘courage’ as he held one hand up to his heart. Kurt took a deep breath and straightened his spine bringing him up to his full height as his wings stood proudly on his back once more.
"Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel! , but many of you may know me as the angel." He said taking a spot behind the podium weighed down with microphones. "In light of recent events, I have decided to come forward and reveal myself to you all, to the world. This isn't an easy decision because I have seen the things said about me by a few, but I couldn't hide myself away knowing there was another out there. To you I say, please remember that we are still human, ; though you have dubbed us angels, we have feelings and what you say does matter. Words have so much power and sometimes we forget that so please use your words wisely when speaking of others. To my fellow angel... um... I know I don't like the term much either, but just know you are not alone. An ocean may separate us, but no one can understand what you are going through like me. If you need anything, to talk, if you have questions, even if you need help finding clothes to wear; I am here, my doctors know how to contact me and I have asked that they pass along any messages from you immediately. It may seem like your world is crumbling, but I promise it does get better..." Kurt turned to go, questions being shouted at him from all sides. He turned back to the podium and held his hand up once more. When the room was merely buzzing, he spoke again. "I know you have a lot of questions, and I'm sure Dr., Fitzhammond can answer those for you. But before I go I ask of you, please respect my privacy. It is not easy waking up one day to discover that you have wings. It is even harder to stand in front of a room of people and let them actually see you for the first time since you have had them. I just want to live my life again. So please... Just let me have that."
Kurt walked away from the podium, trying to ignore the cacophony of questions that filled the room. His eyes were only focused on the door, behind which lay a sort of safe haven for him. He knew there he would still endure stares but the quiet judgment that lay there was a respite from the hoard of curious eyes in the conference room. As soon as he stumbled into the room his dad was there a firm hand on his now trembling shoulder. He couldn't hear his father's comforting words though of the buzz in his head. His breath came in quick pants and the shaking in his limbs was getting worse. He could feel the prickle of panic biting at his skin and stinging his eyes as tears formed. He had held it together in front of the crowd but now that it was gone done he felt like he was crumbling.
As he blinked trying to clear his head from the swoop and swirls, hazel eyes and a concerned yet proud face filled his vision. Seeing Blaine standing there in front of him he sprung forward taking him in his arms. The feel of the now familiar body against his helped to ground him. He could still feel his dad's firm hand on his back calming him further. As he came back from the panic murmured voices filled his ears. He didn't want prying eyes, not now. He pulled his wings forward creating almost a cocoon to shield Blaine and him from their view. It felt safe having the two of them wrapped up together. Blaine's arms held him tight and he whispered in Kurt's ear, "I am so proud of you. What you said... It was perfect."
They stayed there blocked off from the rest of the room, save for Burt's commanding presence behind them, whispering a quiet conversation together, until Kurt felt he could finally breathe again. Before opening his wings though, Kurt indulged in their moment of privacy and kissed Blaine sweetly on the mouth.
By the time they emerge Dr. Fitzhammond had returned to the room himself. He eyed Kurt closely, "Are you doing okay? Do you need anything to help you calm down?"
Kurt held his head high, he was proud he could speak the truth, "I'm fine now. I was well on my way to a full blown panic attack, but I’m okay now."
"Are you sure? I know that was quite a stressful situation out there." When Kurt nodded the doctor continued, "You did exceptionally well Kurt. From everything your father has told me you have come a long way. I’m glad we could help you."
Kurt looked back at his dad finally and could see his pride shining through.
Leaving the hospital was difficult, photographers, and reporters surrounded the back entrance where their car sat idling for them. Kurt scrambled into the back seat as quickly as his wings would allow, as Blaine and his father hurried to the front. It was worse when they approached the gate to his house. News truck lined the street like gawkers at a parade and camera crews and reporters swarmed the area in front of their gate waiting for a glimpse of Kurt Hummel, the angel. Burt cursed as he inched the car forward hoping the reporters would move out of their way. Apparently Carole had already called the police because not long after they arrived ushering the mob to the other side of the street. It was all they could do.
It took a week for the circus to die down, even after Burt went and gave yet another official statement to the press. Kurt felt trapped in his house once more knowing that prying eyes lay just beyond the walls just waiting for an opportunity to catch a photo or a video of him. He felt like an animal on display at the zoo. When Blaine would come, having refused to stay away, questions were slung at him like knives. It didn’t take much for the press to make assumptions about their relationship. Blaine just told him that it didn’t matter, they were right and he would gladly shout from the roof tops that he loved Kurt. His declaration warmed Kurt’s heart and made him so proud to be with Blaine.
Even with the upheaval to their lives, Kurt found it worth it when he received the first email from Aleisha saying how much he had helped. Talking to her and sharing his experience made Kurt think. It was easier to talk to someone who was going through the same thing; and while he knew he was helping her come to terms with her own fate, she helped him in return to look at his life in a new perspective. Their conversations got him to thinking about his life and what it meant now that everyone knew who he was.
It was easy to keep his mind from these musings when Blaine was around. They still spent most of their time together knowing that the summer would soon be over and other responsibilities would demand Blaine's attention once school started again. When Blaine was forced home though, Kurt's mind was free to wander to what ifs and vague dreams. It all became too much to keep to himself though when the last two weeks before Blaine was to return to school, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, insisted they go on a family vacation.
Alone that first day, Finn off with Carole getting last minute supplies for his dorm room, Kurt allowed his thoughts to take over. His father found him that evening sitting alone in the living room waiting for him. Kurt looked up at Burt, his face a mask of determination as soon as he walked in the room.
"I know that face bud, what have you decided to do that you are just now letting me in on?" he asked sitting down beside his son.
"There is something I need to do," Kurt said, sure at that moment that he was right.
Keeping everything from Blaine was easy, considering all they had was text, and that sparingly, his family adamant about little distraction during their family time. Kurt didn't want to get both of their hopes up if things didn't work out. Arranging a meeting with the Dalton headmaster was even easier once Burt explained to him the special circumstances, he agreed to come to their house with any information they could need.
As they sat in the Hummel living room discussing arrangements, things seemed to fall into place. The headmaster was determined to get Kurt at his school. At first this made Kurt wary, feeling he must have ulterior motives. Mr. Terrell though made it clear that he wanted to uphold Dalton's reputation as being a safe haven for all. He was adamant they would not advertise Kurt's attendance there, even going so far as to protect his privacy by implementing a zero tolerance policy for students leaking his presence to the press. The headmaster even went as far as to offer Kurt a scholarship to Kurt. It was a strange new feeling this open acceptance.
Kurt moved in the day before the rest of the student body was set to. He spent his first night in his dorm, talking to a still oblivious Blaine on the phone. After everything had been arranged Kurt had decided that he wanted to surprise his boyfriend. He had planned on telling him that day, wrangling him into helping him move at the same time, but a delayed flight had thwarted that idea.
"I just hate that I won't be able to see you for another week," Blaine moaned into the phone for probably the tenth time.
Kurt held in a chuckle, "I know sweetie, your parents have the worst timing for a vacation ever. But we will see each other before you know it."
"Not soon enough," Blaine grumbled.
Kurt couldn't help but smile, "I love you."
The halls were a babble of activity outside his room. Nerves were taking over and Kurt fidgeted as he arranged the books on his shelf once again. Blaine hadn't texted yet that morning, but he said he would as soon as he was settled in. Kurt didn't want to venture out into the halls full of curious stares and his, most likely, loose lipped peers, until he knew where he could find Blaine.
A knock sounded at his door, startling him. Kurt wanted to ignore it, nerves hit in full force and all of a sudden the idea of returning to school seems seemed ludicrous. His words to his father about learning to adapt to life out in the world again, of wanting to go to college and make something of himself seemed lame and naive with the sudden sound at his door. Then he heard his visitor whistling a tune and it sounded so relaxed and friendly, Kurt decided to take a chance. If the person could look on him without looking at him like he was a freak, maybe it was a sign that this was in fact a good idea. He opened the door to a friendly faced, slightly chubby boy.
Kurt saw his eyes widen a fraction but his smile never faltered. "Hi, I'm Trent. I'm the Resident Ambassador for this floor, can I come in?"
Kurt waved him in before slowly shutting the door. It felt weird having someone else, a stranger in his room, though it in itself was unfamiliar. He realized that Trent was waiting for something, and then flushed at his own rudeness. "I'm Kurt Hummel, it is very nice to meet you." He meant the sentiment too,too; Trent hardly batted an eye at his wings, but kept a smile firmly in place.
"Mr. Terrell told me when we had a new student, I wanted to make sure I got to welcome you to Dalton. As you probably know only seniors live on this floor, and it is my responsibility to make sure that everything runs smoothly for us. So if you ever have any problems, from a broken toilet to someone bothering you, ; please let me know. I will make sure that the correct person is notified to fix the situation. Do you have any questions yet for me?"
Kurt only had one pressing question and decided to ask it, hoping Trent would have an answer. "Do you know Blaine Anderson?"
Trent seemed to beam, "Yeah, we are in the Warblers together, do you know him?" Then Trent's eyes widened, "Wait, you're Kurt? Are you Blaine's Kurt?"
Kurt's heart warmed to hear himself described that way, he liked the way Blaine's Kurt sounded, he could get used to that. "One and the same," he smiled back, feeling giddiness well up inside of him.
"Wow he never told me..." Trent began.
"About the wings?" Kurt asked feeling oddly free talking to Trent.
Trent just laughed, "Well those too, but I was going to say that you were coming here."
Kurt blushed and smiled at the way that Trent just seemed to ghost over the fact that he had wings. "Well, he doesn't actually know yet," Kurt told him. "I was wanting hoping to surprise him, but I'm not sure which room is his so..."
"Come on, I'll show you." Trent offered gesturing to the door.
Kurt stood in front of the plain white door hand poised to knock, Trent having already taken his leave. A few stray students passed by offering tentative smiles and a handful of stares. He took one more moment to breathe before knocking on the door. As soon as it opened, he took in Blaine's surprised face and said, "Hi, I'm new here," before being pulled in to a bone crushing hug.