(no subject)
Dear Santa;
I know you aren't real, but on the off-chance that I'm wrong and you do exist please take my request into consideration, and pass my apologies along to the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Dick Cheney's heart.
I have generally been a good boy, in that I haven't killed anyone or done very heinous things to other people or property. I have taken a few things that don't belong to me from restaurants. I feel rather bad about it now, but my justification at the time was that I was taking them to give to the people I live with and I had paid to eat there. That probably doesn't justify it at all. I've said some bad things about people, too. If you go from january all the way to now, I've been cruel to people behind their backs, or been rude or standoffish in person. Most of the bad things were said about people I've dated, which isn't any justification of itself, but at the time I felt they'd treated me pretty badly.
I don't think you're the kind of person who buys into the "good citizen=good person" shtick, and what with the current debate about who's a good American these days it's probably a box you don't want to open anyway. I'm not a good Catholic, but I don't think the Catholics are good at much of anything anyway so it evens out in my mind. I'm only including it because I was raised Catholic; I'm also a bad Muslim if that helps.
Good things I've done? Nothing really sticks out. Like I said, I haven't killed anyone, but I haven't saved any lives either. Come to think of it, I haven't really contributed to the well-being of any other people at all. I don't volunteer anywhere, I don't give money to charities, and I haven't helped any friends out of deep crises or the like. I think there's a reason for all of these things, so let's get on with my request:
If, despite all the bad things I've done, you decided I'm worthy of a gift, I really would like only one thing: someone to love and who loves me back. I definitely need someone to push me along and give me advice, tell me to do the right things. That's really about it. It's easier to climb mountains when there's someone to help you.
So, I hope that you've had fun watching my life over the past year, even if I'm not all that interesting most days, and that you understand all the things I've done- I probably missed some, but you didn't I'm sure. Please consider my request for a gift carefully, and if you come down here on Christmas Eve, please enjoy the cookies and milk. If you happen to be on a diet (which if you aren't, you should consider- it's a healthy lifestyle choice and I'm sure Mrs. Claus would love it if you toned up a bit), I think there are some grapes and cranberry juice in the fridge.
All my best,
Chris
I know you aren't real, but on the off-chance that I'm wrong and you do exist please take my request into consideration, and pass my apologies along to the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Dick Cheney's heart.
I have generally been a good boy, in that I haven't killed anyone or done very heinous things to other people or property. I have taken a few things that don't belong to me from restaurants. I feel rather bad about it now, but my justification at the time was that I was taking them to give to the people I live with and I had paid to eat there. That probably doesn't justify it at all. I've said some bad things about people, too. If you go from january all the way to now, I've been cruel to people behind their backs, or been rude or standoffish in person. Most of the bad things were said about people I've dated, which isn't any justification of itself, but at the time I felt they'd treated me pretty badly.
I don't think you're the kind of person who buys into the "good citizen=good person" shtick, and what with the current debate about who's a good American these days it's probably a box you don't want to open anyway. I'm not a good Catholic, but I don't think the Catholics are good at much of anything anyway so it evens out in my mind. I'm only including it because I was raised Catholic; I'm also a bad Muslim if that helps.
Good things I've done? Nothing really sticks out. Like I said, I haven't killed anyone, but I haven't saved any lives either. Come to think of it, I haven't really contributed to the well-being of any other people at all. I don't volunteer anywhere, I don't give money to charities, and I haven't helped any friends out of deep crises or the like. I think there's a reason for all of these things, so let's get on with my request:
If, despite all the bad things I've done, you decided I'm worthy of a gift, I really would like only one thing: someone to love and who loves me back. I definitely need someone to push me along and give me advice, tell me to do the right things. That's really about it. It's easier to climb mountains when there's someone to help you.
So, I hope that you've had fun watching my life over the past year, even if I'm not all that interesting most days, and that you understand all the things I've done- I probably missed some, but you didn't I'm sure. Please consider my request for a gift carefully, and if you come down here on Christmas Eve, please enjoy the cookies and milk. If you happen to be on a diet (which if you aren't, you should consider- it's a healthy lifestyle choice and I'm sure Mrs. Claus would love it if you toned up a bit), I think there are some grapes and cranberry juice in the fridge.
All my best,
Chris