Looking backwards......
I’ve only newly realised how utterly incompetent I am at specialist maths, but let us not dwell on such dark and angsty subjects.
I’ve surprised myself on hard I worked in the first week of term, but at the same time, as predicted, I’ve returned to the old ways. >D But while it lasted, the glory of actually doing 7 hours of homework on a Sunday was wonderful. I felt positively productive, compared to the 2-3 hour sludges that repeated themselves 50 times last year. Yayz0rz =3
If this productiveness manifests itself every so often this year, perhaps I won’t do so bad after all, for currently, I’m filled with ominous prophecies of how badly I’ll miss 99.xx by.
For the nth time, I’ll tell myself to stop rambling about schoolwork.
But once I do that, I find myself at a lack for words, because everything else takes so long to talk about, and my fingers are beginning to get sore. I don’t think I’ve typed this much in one go for the last month or so. :3
Oh yes, half regretting not applying for S+G because I want something outstanding in my CV.
One last thought: Jigoku Shoujo is so pretty and angsty and “humankind is doomed” amazing XD
EDIT: I was going through my 48 pages of journal (posted on an online journal I used to have), and I found that my life inevitably repeats itself, and with such similarity, it’s frightening.
4/8/05
I fell over yesterday. And it was on level ground. I happened to be walking on smooth concrete. Then, somehow, my foot twisted inside my shoe and I went flying. There were grazes on my knees. It was even bleeding =_=. It’s times like these I feel unbelievably stupid and clumsy. 173cm is not very tall - it just so happens that my legs are so made that I trip over them all the time. And my ankles seem to have difficulties…
11/8/05
But on Tuesday, I left my house keys at home. So I got home, realized I didn’t bring my keys, and then had to walk all the way back to school again so mum could pick me up three hours later. Except the cleaner came and said “we’re locking up the building now” so I had to sit out in the cold TT_TT. I also left my hair tie at home, meaning I had to go everywhere with my hair flying over my face. The agony.
23/8/05
The rain keeps raining. I’m aware that we need rain…however…why can’t it rain when I can’t see it? TnT Yes I’m also aware that that statement was entirely illogical.
29/8/05
TT_TT Work work work work work work work work work work work work work work wrok wrok workwjrowrjworjwrjwojskdglkj
=.= It’s all I seem to be doing these days. How dyingly dreadfully GODDAMN BORING!!!!
30/8/05
Tonight, school finishes at 3.30. I have a cello lesson until 6.00. And a concert that starts at 5.30 I tell the conductor I have my last lesson before my associate diploma exam so I can’t go to the concert and he tells me to rush there after my lesson, we’re last on the program. D:< It’s a 45 minute drive from my teacher’s house to school. Stupid old retard, why should I make my father speed and then pay speed fines for a measly school concert that only parents go to in the first place?
7/9/05
Pshhhh. I look forward to the “school holidays” in a few days. Holiday? What holiday? Right, that holiday in which I have to attend lectures on maths and chemistry and how to maximise your exam scores. Holiday my foot =_= This is the “life” you lead when you are born into a Chinese family with parents who are stricter than the Bible, and more mentally retarded than a yellow cucumber. They refuse to get me internet connection because they think I’ll look up porn. Yeah well if I want to look it up, them not getting me internet’s not going to make a difference anyway. And no, I have no desire, or wish, and never have had, to look it up.
I feel so trusted.
I must get to that homework. >> It looks so forbidding. I don’t want to touch it. >< *hides*