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Dec 27, 2004 06:39


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jyuufish December 27 2004, 15:48:05 UTC
I have the money right here laying on the desk before me. I pondered calling up your mom and perhaps telling her to tell you but I do not want to be construed as a stalker.

You mentioned about the threesome. Alexi, the Computer and I. But I would give up the internet for you Kuro, for all that it entails if I could just be with you. I care about you more then a silly computer, the only reason why the computer has been my friend for the past year is because it has brought me you. It has brought me a means to communicate with you.

I want to fly with you, Kuro. I want to at least try. I've been trying to fly for gods know how long, but I think that is possible with you.

I have the money for the plane ticket. I went out this morning to get it. If by the end of the visit, we cannot do anything about our problems, if they are insurmountable, then I promise I will bow out of your life gracefully, content myself with being your friend. As I was in the beginning.

Whatever happens, I would never bad mouth you Kuro. Never. Your reasoning was correct on many levels, and I can see that. I am logical enough to discern.

Gods I cannot wait until you come back online, to give me the go-ahead or no-go to purchase the ticket. I will do it immediately.

I will also send you and your mother gas money for the airport since I do not want to cause you to spend excess money.. no, this is all on me.

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jyuufish December 27 2004, 15:57:19 UTC
What you said about my mother, and your father.. it really hit a nerve in me. It showed me how ephermeal time can be. I remember my grandmother, thinking I would see her one last time, but I did not. She died.. but I thought that she would still be there when I got back. I took that for granted. *sighs*

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jyuufish December 27 2004, 16:42:47 UTC
I want us to have a real life, real jobs, I want us to be together. I want to talk to you face to face, I want you to be able to look into my eyes and tell that I am sincere. I want you to see my tears, I want to see your tears.. I want to kiss them away. I do not want the computer screen to seperate us.

I want to have a smiling, happy super intelligent child together, I want to have a dog and a cat, I want to live a normal life. Sometimes filled with pain, sometimes filled with Joy.

And I want to do it with -you-. There is no one for me but you, no one who can make me as complete as I have been for the first time in 6 years. There -is- no other wing for me, no other flightmate, no other precious love. I want to walk in the sunshine with you

I know you do not want me to beg, so I am not going to beg.. I merely want to somehow prove my sincerity to you.

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