[Doujinshi Share, Friends Only] - 182700 Mad World (my world 2)
Thanks everyone for still being here, and as promised! I’ll share 182700 Doujin with you guys ^^ and yes of course, ‘you guys’ I mean ‘old faces,’ my friend! I’m using the well-known tactic in Thailand when we want to block out ‘Ghost’ (you know =w= people who only come to download, to read and no interactions at all with the writer)
And who’s the old faces that I’m talking about? You know yourself…if you ever talked to me or leave comments at least a few times. For those of you who I’ve shared the first chapter of ‘my world (100/1827) before, yes, you are friends whose names I remembered; you’re very welcomed for the next chapter of ‘my world.’
Aside from the readers that I’ve shared ‘my world 1’ with? Well, I’ve to admit that I’ve bad memory, but I do quite remember a few names. For new faces, you can still read my doujin in next entry, kay?
By the way, I still receive friend requests from people who I’ve never talked to before (or them talked to me), please don’t just add me as friend IF you’re just going to need the update of my doujins. Writers feel bad about that TAT.
All right, before sharing around, please note that this doujin contains issue about ‘School’s shooting/massacre.’ Although I’m sure my doujin isn’t that bloody, I just want to make sure that US readers will have no problem with it since in US, this subject is a lot more sensitive than in asia.
If you’re okay with that then, drop me as message, and I’ll send you the password. Please do not share online or reupload anywhere.
Title: Mad World (2nd part of 'My World' although both can be read seperately)
Pairing: 182700
Rating: PG15
Thai format with English sub as always *w*
HERE
And of course, all I ask in return is feedback. Aside from feedback about the doujin, I’d like to see how readers think in general about school shooting too if you don’t mind. A…and note that in writing about school shooting, I’ve no intention of agreeing with the incident in anyways.
All righty, some diary referring to the previous entry. About what? About work or study.
Well…two more weeks and I’m off the full time job! As I’ve mentioned in last entry, I changed my mind completely after working for only a month. It’s funny, aint’ it?
Last year I was so eager about going study abroad, the only support I can get won’t let me. Come this year, I am free to go but I suddenly have the first chance in life to sell my doujins and get together with yaoi fan girls like a community. It is one of the best things in my life and I stopped thinking about leaving here.
I know most people would find this…foolish? For me it’s not. I’m no good in many things, drawing is one of a very few things I could do, probably the best thing I could do now. Makes my life meaningful. My family and friends (aside from Y community) just don’t see why I should give it all that much.
Trash, waste of time, useless…that’s what they’ve been saying. I can’t imagine what I would do or say back to people who said that to me if they weren’t people who I knew they care about my future. But honestly, you just don’t say in someone’s face that a significant something for someone is a trash. Even if they occasionally said how good I am (don’t mind me saying this, you know those without drawing mind always said this -*-) just because we’re related.
That’s why I often give thanks to you guys, people on my blog and KHR board that always support me far greater than anyone I’m seeing everyday or even closed friends. I really wouldn’t have come this far without everyone I know online. I repeat ^^ every single support I know is online!
I’ve got a few yaoi fan girl friends from school who still keep in contact, but nope, not a single interest from them. Read my doujins but no comments, which is kinda weird T-T. Imagine this: “I read your doujin…” and that’s the end of it. Man, I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know what’s the point of that saying. Not even a word of ‘I like it’ ‘I hate it’ ‘so so…’ If anyone knew what the point is, please clarify. I wonder if they have reasons behind that? hah hah.
That’s why I’m attached to Y community. Childish, I know. But it was the thing I had dreamed of, had lost hope, and suddenly had a chance to get it even with this awfully lateness in age. When I was in high school, I have one idol (still is my idol now, but not as much as before with her change of perspective), I looked up to her and hoped one day I’d be like her. Today, I feel I’m at that point even if I’m not as great as her.
I do know now that in this community, some people look up to me. Makes me feel that I’m not so useless and pointless as my family sees me. I just feel fulfilled and not lonely as I used to feel at times before I joined this community. That’s why I’m willing to do anything to stay in Thailand so I can stay with this. I got myself a job just to get my family off my back about my drawing and going abroad.
Turns out that they never got off my back about my drawing and further study TAT man, what a pain. But that’s not the point that changed my mind! I changed my mind because of the job. My working place is great, yes, close to home, great colleagues, but the job is just not my thing! I’m not a service or people person. It’s funny how I’ve tried to be open so many times and failed miserably. I don’t talk much at times and get tired physically when someone is talking too much (reading message is never problem though *w* it’s different!). And working as Sales Coordinator for a residence!? 2 months is enough to send my ass to HR office and sign myself off (deciding earlier than that even.)
Plus, I’ve friends who are working in fields other than drawing. Like me, they were lost before. We talked about this, talked about people whose skills were just like us when we were younger, but now those people turned all genius and getting a real job by drawing because they’d been sticking to their dreams no matter what. Unlike us (me and some of my friends) that turned to look for something else for years and years while we could have use all those time to do what we could do best and make it better.
Mine is 8 years, which is a huge number of lost. It really is the saddest thing in my life. The worst wrong turn I’ve took when choosing fields in Uni. Made it even worse when there were actually signs telling me I should changed my field to drawing. I even looked into it, but decided at last on not changing. My greatest regret until this day.
Then working service because anyone could do just with an okay English made me think that if I have to work this kind of job for the rest of my life, I’d be so damn! True, earlier I didn’t think of this. With news on TV reporting about the end of the world had gotten to me. Even the movie 2012. Made me just want do to things my way, you never knew when will it be your last day….but yeahhhhh…now I know I’ll never know if I’ve to live longer than 2012 without the decent job that I could say “I’m tired but I like my job” or at least not hating it.
So I’ve decided, this time I’m going to do my best in art field. If not drawing then writing, the only thing I’m sure I could do best. Honestly I’m not even sure I’ll be able to do it, I might even have to get back to customer service job in case I can’t achieve my goal. And yes yes, there IS people who told me not to do it with my uncertainty. But I’ll go for it anyways, at least when I get older I won’t look back and regret about not having try.
I’ve been afraid and unsure and sway with people’s words for years! Now I don’t anymore. Hmm, that’s somewhat a pep talk. Let’s see how things will turn out, yeah?