I HATE BOYS!!! I'm goin lesbo...not really...
Do boys like to play with your head? your emotions? Your heart? They just toss it around like they own it or something...now i'm guarded for a long time now...for any guy to get really close to me to be in a relationship they are really going to have to show me that they aren't some liar that is like every other guy that plays with womens hearts. That's what makes it so hard for the guys who are the good ones because the bad ones always ruin it for them! it pisses me the hell off because I get burned and somehow i NEVER learn!! When will i ever learn that guys tell you what you want to hear to suck you in. And gues what i'm the gullible one! But not anymore...no more...being gullible. Maybe i should just be a cenile woman to any guy who's interested and just be cold hearted and bitter. That usually works to keep guys from you. I'm goin cellebate...I could never do that...
*sigh* i'm ranting this is what i need to do..
I need to keep going to school like i have been doing going about my business. Growing in my faith and meet a good God fearing man that isn't an idiot...i mean logically gerard and I were a long distance relationship and what are the chances of that working...but it still burns because i did care for him and i did at some point love him but turns out he's just a liar...It pisses me off because I would never ever lie to my mate...cheat on my mate or anything...yes there would be boundaries and stuff but nothing we couldn't work through...i think the biggest thing in relationships is honest and being able to trust someone and somehow i knew this would happen. i gave myself to him wholeheartedly and i got hurt and it still hurts but I move on and now i'm more guarded...its harder now to get to my heart...maybe i shouldn't love so openly...love does hurt and scar and everything the song said thats bad about love...one day I will get past this and love someone who will love me back fully with no bars..no lies...no mask to hide behind...i hate this...
i'm going to go cry now...
*sigh* i'm ranting this is what i need to do..
I need to keep going to school like i have been doing going about my business. Growing in my faith and meet a good God fearing man that isn't an idiot...i mean logically gerard and I were a long distance relationship and what are the chances of that working...but it still burns because i did care for him and i did at some point love him but turns out he's just a liar...It pisses me off because I would never ever lie to my mate...cheat on my mate or anything...yes there would be boundaries and stuff but nothing we couldn't work through...i think the biggest thing in relationships is honest and being able to trust someone and somehow i knew this would happen. i gave myself to him wholeheartedly and i got hurt and it still hurts but I move on and now i'm more guarded...its harder now to get to my heart...maybe i shouldn't love so openly...love does hurt and scar and everything the song said thats bad about love...one day I will get past this and love someone who will love me back fully with no bars..no lies...no mask to hide behind...i hate this...
i'm going to go cry now...