let the air blow it away
Life is a funny word. sometimes its hard to explain the things life takes you through. But you know what is even funnier...Love, whether it family, friends or your mate. Sometimes there are things you can say that can hurt someone truly and deeply and you know it does and you know they are hurting. But sometimes they just don't understand that you are telling them this stuff because you love them and you care about their well being. I mean to that person you are trying to attack them and you aren't you are just telling them straight forward without lying to them so someone they don't know doesn't have to tell them. I know it sounds cruel but over the years my nature has changed there's been certain things I put up with and certain things that I don't tolerate. I don't butter things up anymore to anyone because it just ends up being worse on them in the end cause it seems like everyone should just say 'oh I'm sorry that your going through this.' But sometimes that may be what they want to hear but not what the need to hear. Of course they aren't gonna wanna hear it but you must let them know that not everyone is going to be so nice in this world. cause it is a cruel world.
So over the last week I've regressed and though about things I have said and yes some of them maybe could have been kept to myself to spare the harshness but alas that is done and what has happened has happened. So sometimes it seems like you say something to people trying to tell them straight and they end up almost writing you off like you were never close or ever friends or anything for that matter. They say these things but it almost seems like they don't mean them...yes sometimes it hurts when you think someone's written you off or deleted you from their life when you know they haven't but still have doubts and feel you've been replaced. Replacement doesn't phase me because i am me and i am always gonna be me whether i have friends or not. Thats just who i am. I know i wasn't the person i am today once upon a time. i am a stronger person today and refuse to depend on anyone to validate me or to bring me up to my own standards. That's what God is for. He's all I need and i shouldn't need anyone else. I'm not saying that i don't like having friends I'm just saying that if all that i had left was me and God I would still be a happy woman cause He is my rock and He is all that i need in my life. He fills me and gives me strength that i need. maybe that's my problem. I don't need anyone to validate me so i'm here in this life doing what I want to do because i know I can and I believe that i can do it and will whether my friends like it or not. Maybe that's what keeps me closed. Because I don't feel I need friends and they are a priveledge to have that i just keep everything to myself and deal with it in the little world i'm living in and i believe that i do have my own little world where in it everything is how I want it to be and then i wake up...
I came to thinking about a lot today and just maybe I need to find myself but i know who i am. But i know a few things i will never let anyone do to me:
1. make me feel guilty about anything I say or do. Only I can do that.
2. No one can validate me but myself. I live up to my own standards and so what if they're not that high i don't ask for much.
3. never replace ANY of my friends with someone else. Every one of my friends are special and unique in one way or another.
4. Never put anyone or anything before God
5. Will never lie to anyone
6. will never be fake. i've learned to be real with people cause in the end everyones happy. Better to deal with things now that later when they've rot and are now breaking down a relationship.
I think that's it and thats my ramble on about the troubles and what has been going through my mind today...
ENJOY! :-\
Jaa ne
Taki J'nae
So over the last week I've regressed and though about things I have said and yes some of them maybe could have been kept to myself to spare the harshness but alas that is done and what has happened has happened. So sometimes it seems like you say something to people trying to tell them straight and they end up almost writing you off like you were never close or ever friends or anything for that matter. They say these things but it almost seems like they don't mean them...yes sometimes it hurts when you think someone's written you off or deleted you from their life when you know they haven't but still have doubts and feel you've been replaced. Replacement doesn't phase me because i am me and i am always gonna be me whether i have friends or not. Thats just who i am. I know i wasn't the person i am today once upon a time. i am a stronger person today and refuse to depend on anyone to validate me or to bring me up to my own standards. That's what God is for. He's all I need and i shouldn't need anyone else. I'm not saying that i don't like having friends I'm just saying that if all that i had left was me and God I would still be a happy woman cause He is my rock and He is all that i need in my life. He fills me and gives me strength that i need. maybe that's my problem. I don't need anyone to validate me so i'm here in this life doing what I want to do because i know I can and I believe that i can do it and will whether my friends like it or not. Maybe that's what keeps me closed. Because I don't feel I need friends and they are a priveledge to have that i just keep everything to myself and deal with it in the little world i'm living in and i believe that i do have my own little world where in it everything is how I want it to be and then i wake up...
I came to thinking about a lot today and just maybe I need to find myself but i know who i am. But i know a few things i will never let anyone do to me:
1. make me feel guilty about anything I say or do. Only I can do that.
2. No one can validate me but myself. I live up to my own standards and so what if they're not that high i don't ask for much.
3. never replace ANY of my friends with someone else. Every one of my friends are special and unique in one way or another.
4. Never put anyone or anything before God
5. Will never lie to anyone
6. will never be fake. i've learned to be real with people cause in the end everyones happy. Better to deal with things now that later when they've rot and are now breaking down a relationship.
I think that's it and thats my ramble on about the troubles and what has been going through my mind today...
ENJOY! :-\
Jaa ne
Taki J'nae