(no subject)
So the next day, we decided to try to find our way around town. We drove around and we found a mall and stopped there and walked and looked around to see what they had. So we stayed there for a few hours then we left and went to eat. We stopped at a place called Fairside Café. So we ate and left to find other places. So we spent the whole day roaming around. We finally return to my house and Zac went and laid down because something he had eaten had just began to upset his stomach. Taylor looked at me and winked and walked into the other room. I then sighed and Isaac says, "What’s on your mind?" I say "Well, I need to talk to you about something." Isaac says, "Okay, does this have anything to do with why you’ve been acting strange around me?" I say, "Yeah, it does. Sit down." So Isaac sits down and I am pacing and I say, "How do I put this?" I sigh nervously and Isaac says "Sit down," then he pats the cushion next to him. I sit down and he puts his hands on my arms and says, "What is it? You can tell me. You can tell me anything." I look at him and say, "I know and I want to tell you but I don’t know how..." Then I start to take a deep breath and Isaac puts his hands on either side of my face and says "Calm down, just breathe." I cross my wrists between my knees and blush as I looking down and Isaac says "Just say it, it's me. You can tell me anything." I sigh and says "Well," I look away and softly say "I love you." Isaac says, "I love you too." I look at him wondering if he knew what I meant, and then I say, "I don’t think you understand. I love you more than a friend, I've loved you since I had a slight hope that you would have me." Isaac looks kind of surprised and says "Whoa…" Then I still have my wrists crossed between my knees and I look at him waiting for some other response. But when I recieve nothing but the same shocked look my bottom lip begins to quiver and I lower my head as tears begin to slowly stream down my cheeks. Isaac looks at me and lifts my head up by my chin and says "Why are you crying? I didn't say anything wrong did I?" I say, "You didn't say anything at all..." Isaac says "I know so why are you crying?" I say "Because you don't love me that way..." Isaac says "How long have you felt this way?" I look down again and say "Now...about...3 years..." Isaac says "And you're just deciding to tell me now?" I say "Umm...I was scared..." Isaac says "I'm your best friend...you can tell me anything...I mean I'm starting to wonder if I even know you anymore...you've changed so much...it almost seems like I have to relearn everything." I say "Isaac...I haven't changed...I'm still the same girl that I was back in Tulsa...it's just that..." I start to sob a little and say "I know you...I know you well enough to know...that regardless of my feelings for you...that you won't...break up with your girlfriend...for a petty reason like that...I couldn't tell you that...because you are a great guy...you are a wonderful man...that I would do anything for...and if that means...loving you while you're with another woman...then...I'll do it..." Isaac just looks at me and sighs and says "I need to get out of here for a bit." Then he gets up and takes off. As I watch him leave I get this feeling inside like my heart just shattered into a million peices. I pull my knees up to my chest and begin to sob. So after what seemed like a few minutes to me had actually been a hour and a half. I'm still sitting there with my knees pulled up to my chest and Zac comes into the room and sits next to me. He puts a hand on my back and says "How long have you been sitting here?" I softly say "I don't know a few minutes." He then sees a big wet spot on my pants and says "I think it's been a little longer. Because it looks like you've been crying a lot." I say "What does that matter? It doesn't matter how long or how hard I cry he'll never be mine." Zac says "Is that why you are crying? What happened?" I say "Well, I told him how I feel and he didn't even hint at his feelings for me...he just asked how long and complained and then left. He doesn't love me." Zac says "Yes he does, he just doesn't know how to react to this. Maybe it's overwhelming. Isaac's big on thinking things through before deciding." I say "But could he at least be more open about it. When he said he had to get out of here it seemed like I had entered like millions of problems into his life. It makes me feel like a burden and it hurt." Zac says "I know it hurt but he didn't mean to. Trust me you are not a burden to him. If anything you're the best thing he's got. He'll talk to you soon. I promise." I say "Okay, if you're sure." Zac says "I am positive. You know he can't stay away from you more than a day." I smile and say "Thanks Zac." Zac says "No problem." Then Zac hugs me and I wipe my eyes and sit there with Zac for a little while.
So a little later that day Isaac comes back and I had been crying on and off. As soon as he walked in the door I looked up at him and started to cry again. I put my head in my hands and continue to cry. Isaac places a hand on my head and sits next to me and cradles me in his arms. I continue to cry for a few more minutes then I finally stop and say "Isaac?" Isaac says "Yeah, what is it?" I say "Am I a burden to you?" Isaac says "Definitely not, where would you get an idea like that? If anything you're a blessing." I say "Well, it's just that the way you left earlier made it seem like I was bringing all these problems to you." Isaac says "No, I was just kind of taken aback. I didn't know what to say or what to think." I say "Why? How is it surprising? I mean have you really never noticed before?" Isaac says "No, what was I supposed to notice?" I say "The way I look at you." Isaac says "No, I actually never noticed." I say "Oh..." Isaac says "But I don't want you to be upset...because I do love you the way that you say you love me...and you know me well enough to know you are right about me not breaking up with someone just to be with someone else. But I want to let you know that I view you as perfect being. This creature that was created as the goddess of my dreams. For the longest time I longed for you. I wanted you to be mine. But everytime I looked at you my mind told me that I could never have you. That you were too good for me...that you always would be. And for that reason alone...I've held myself back." I say "But why? I've wanted you for so long even before I started to love you like that because I knew you were the one I wanted to be with." Isaac says "I know that now. But I was blinded by blind love. A love that won't let you be with the person regardless if they love you back or not. I couldn't see through the perfect creature that I think you are." I give him a small but soft smile and he puts his arms around me and holds me. He kisses my forehead and we sit there holding each other.
So the next day, Lori and Chloe drop by and Zac and Isaac are holding a conversation with them and Taylor is quietly sitting behind me on the other couch talking to me softly when he had something to say. He kept asking me questions that we both knew he should be asking Lori so I say, "Why don’t you just go over there and talk to her?" Taylor says, "She won’t talk to me. What would a girl like that want with a guy like me?" I say, knowing he hates when I agree with him when he doesn’t want me to, "Yeah Taylor, you know you’re right. What would a girl like Lori want with a guy like you? I don’t know." Taylor looks at me wide eyed and says, still whispering but angrily, "No, you know what?! I will talk to her not now but later I will talk to her! Since you want to agree with me all of a sudden. You think I won’t do it right?! Well, I'll show you! You just watch!" I say, "Okay, I will." Then he looks at me and says "I’m going to go in your room now." I say "Fine." Taylor gets up and walks out of the room and I just begin to laugh quietly and Chloe says "Cari what’s so funny?!" I say "Nothing, nothing at all." So we continue to talk and Zac says "Now Cari agrees with me. Right Cari?!" I look at him and he smiles and says "See she does." Chloe laughs and Lori giggles and Isaac just rolls his eyes but smiles then gets up to come and sits by me. Chloe smirks and says, "Aww now isn’t that sweet!" I say "Shush loey!!" Chloe looks at me and sticks out her tongue and says, "That’s not my name thank you!" Lori and Zac begin to laugh a little and I am now blushing a bit and Isaac is smiling a bit and laughing and he puts his head on my shoulder and says "Is she embarrassing you?" I say "Oh you’re no help!" Then he says, "You didn’t answer my question, we’re you embarrassed?" I hit him on the shoulder and say, "You are so mean! Why are you being mean to me?!" Isaac says, "I’m not trying to embarrass you I just want to know if you were embarrassed." I say, "Well, I was okay if you really want to know." Isaac kisses my cheek and says, "I’m sorry." I say "It’s okay," and I push his shoulder and say, "you always push things though." Isaac says "Sorry, oh did I tell you that Jennifer is coming down to meet you in person?" I say "Are you serious? Oh my…" Isaac says "What?! What’s wrong?!" I say "Nothing, when is she coming down?" Isaac says "Um, Wednesday." I say "Oh really, okay, how long is she staying?" Isaac says, "I think three days, you don’t have a problem with this do you?" I say "No, not at all. I could understand why your girlfriend wouldn’t want to be away from you." Isaac says, "You do have a problem with this. If you don’t want her to come down I can always tell her not to come if it’s a burden to you." I say "No really let her come it’s okay." Isaac says, "Are you sure?" I say, "Yeah, I’m sure." Isaac says "Okay," then he kisses my cheek and smiles. So we are sitting in the living room sitting and chatting.
I knew at that moment I had just screwed myself over by saying it was all right that Jennifer came down when I knew that it wasn’t. She’s going to be here for three days, three very long days at that. I have no problem with her except for the fact that she’s the girlfriend of the man I’m in love with. Well, I guess I screwed that one up too so it’s my fault. I take a deep sigh and that was a wrong move because Isaac immediately knew that it wasn’t okay. Isaac says, "You know what I’m going to call her and tell her not to come." I say "Why?" Isaac says "I know when it bothers you and it’s sweet of you to try to lie and act like it’s okay to make me happy but look this is your house and you should only have the people you want in it and if you don’t want her in it it’s okay." I looked down once again ashamed and Isaac says, "So I’m going to go and call her and tell her not to come and then we need to talk okay." I say "Okay." I don’t like the way he said that I could tell he meant it that we really needed to talk. So he called her from his cell phone and tells her and says, "Okay, I’ll talk to you later bye." Then he walks into the living room again and he looks at me and takes my hand and Zac, Lori and Chloe watch as we walk outside. Zac makes this face like ‘Oops.’ Chloe says, "What’s going on?" Zac says "I don’t know the whole story if anyone better to go to, to find that out it would be her and Taylor." Chloe says "Oh really." Zac says "Yeah." I’m sitting in the grass and he is walking around outside very irritated. We are just quiet for a few minutes and I say, "You seem upset…" Isaac says, "I am…and you know why? Because you won’t tell me anything anymore. You lie to me…try to act like everything is okay…when you know it’s not!" I look down and say, "I’m sorry…just trying to make your stay as happy as possible." Isaac says, "See I don’t want you to do that…I want you to be happy…I don’t want you to accommodate to me…You don’t have to adjust to me…you’ve never done this before. So I don’t know why you’re doing it now." I look up at him and my eyes are getting a little watery and he puts his hands on the side of my face and says, "Don’t cry…I don’t mean to be harsh but you’ve changed ever since you found out I had a girlfriend." I look down again as more tears roll down my cheeks and say, "Well, what was I supposed to do? I just found out that the only man I loved has a girlfriend and what made it even worse is that I know what kind of guy you are you don’t hurt people they hurt you…and that means I’m hurting you…" Isaac says, "I hate this…because I’m not going to lie…you are hurting me…it hurts me to say it but I have to…" I say, "I know and I know that it’s true…" Isaac says "But don't worry...this doesn't change the fact that I love you." I had continued to cry with my head hanging down and Isaac sits down next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses my cheek. He takes his other hand and runs it through my hair. At that moment he was so gentle with me, not that he hadn’t been before, like I was a glass that he didn’t want to break. He pulled my hair back with his hand and he softly whispers into my ear. He says, "I love you." Then he kisses right by my ear and he hugs me and I softly say, "I love you too." So we sit out there and he had started to hum a song into my ear and sway me from side to side I just close my eyes and enjoy the moment. As we’re sitting there, all of a sudden from behind us I hear "Surprise! I’m here!" Isaac lets go of me and turns around and looks surprised and says, "What are you doing here? Didn’t you get my message on your cell phone?" Jennifer says "Oh I left it at home I forgot it when I was packing. Why aren’t you happy to see me?!" Isaac says, "Of course I am happy to see you, it was just so unexpected." Jennifer says, "It was supposed to silly it’s called a surprise!" She kisses him and I had gone in the house already to give them some space. So I walk in and I lean against the door and sigh and walk back into my room and I walk in and Taylor says, "Uh oh…what’s wrong?" I say, "She’s here." Taylor says "What? I didn’t think she was coming till Wednesday?" I say "Well, she wasn’t supposed to come at all because Isaac left a message for her not to come at all." Taylor says "Oh I see, well didn’t she get the message?" I say, "Apparently not, she’s here." Taylor says, "I’m sorry." I say, "It’s okay." So then I hear the front door close and Jennifer says ‘Hi’ to Zac and Isaac introduces her to the others and then Isaac says "I’m going to go get Cari and Taylor." Jennifer says "Okay." So then Isaac comes back to my room and says, "Hey Taylor come say hi to Jennifer and you come and meet her." I kind of smile and walk out behind Taylor and so we get out there and Jennifer says ‘Hi’ to Taylor and then she says "Oh so I finally get to meet the illusive Cari face to face the one he rants and raves about night and day I’m starting to think that he loves you more than he should." (Meaning more than a friend) I smile and say, "Yeah, he’s always talking about you." Jennifer says "Really, not nearly as much as he talks about you it would take a whole lifetime to repeat what he’s told me about you." I say "Yeah, well, that’s Isaac." Jennifer says "Yep, that’s my Isaac." As if that didn’t make matters worst when she said the word my of Isaac being hers I was going to go crazy I knew they were together but it drove me nuts because of her innocent little smile like she could never do anything wrong. Ugh I’m going to pull my hair out! I mean the man that I love’s girlfriend is over here can it get any worse. Then it did Isaac says "So how long you plan on staying?" Jennifer says, "Well, since I came earlier I’ll be here for two weeks." Oh no, she’ll be here for two torturous weeks. They’ll be ugh…I don’t even want to think about what they will be doing. I’ve dug myself into a deeper hole than I can pull myself out of… So we are all in the living room and she’s sitting next to Isaac with her much too perky self and I’m thinking ‘I never thought he would go for that type of girl.’ So I just sit and mostly smile and nod so then Lori and Chloe have to get home and I decided to get out and walk them home and I say, "She is so perky I can’t stand it. I don’t like her." Lori laughs and says "Yes I agree with you on the way too perky part but the only reason you don’t like her is because she is with the man you love." I say, "I know you’re right." Lori says, "I’m always right trust me I am." I smile and say, "Yeah, you know the bad part about all this?" Lori says "What?" I say "One that she’ll be here for two weeks and two that I’ll have to hear and see her perky butt for two weeks. I am going to go crazy!" Lori and Chloe laugh and we get to Chloe’s house and we say bye to her and then I walk with Lori to her house and I say, "Well, it was nice for you to come over." Lori says "No problem." I say "Well, I hope you like my friends I’ve known them forever which you’ve probably heard only a million times." Lori says, "I did, I really did." I say, "Cool, well, I better get going." Lori says "Yeah, I’ll see you later." I say "Yeah, bye." Lori says "Bye." Then she goes inside and I go home and I go inside and as soon as I walk in Jennifer says "Hi!" with her really perky voice and I kind of look at her funny and I say "Okay," then she looks at me crossly and says "I have a feeling you don’t like me very much." I say, "Well…never mind…" Jennifer says, "Come on tell me. Please I wanna know what you think of me." I say "It’s okay you don’t want to hear my opinion." Jennifer says "Yes I do! Come on!" I say, "Are you sure?" She says, "Of course I’m sure! Now what do you think of me?!" I say "I think you’re too freaking perky! That’s what I think. A little too perky." She looks at me kind of hurt and says "But you sounded like you liked me over the phone. I mean we held a pretty good conversation and we laughed and everything." I say "Well, I learn how to play conversation very well, I can strike up a conversation with anyone." Jennifer says, "So today did you really like me?" I say, "I play face very well don’t I? But I can say I don’t hate you and I like your always happy personality but the perkiness it would drive me crazy!" Jennifer looks at me hurt and says, "So you really don’t like me huh?" I say "I didn’t say I didn’t like you I just said your perkiness is annoying." Then she looks at Isaac and starts to cry a little bit and says, "She doesn’t like me…" I put my hand on my forehead and sit on the couch and she goes to Isaac and he holds her and then later he gets her to bed and I’m still up and he comes over to me and he says "What did you have to go and do a thing like that for?" I say, "I didn’t do it! She asked so I told her!" Isaac says "But you didn’t have to tell her!" I say "She wanted to know and I wasn’t about to listen to that perky voice for fifteen minutes!" Isaac says "But could you have done it in a nicer manner?!" I say, "She wanted to know so I told her!! Do you get what I’m saying Isaac?! She wanted to know! So get off my back!!" He looks at me shocked and he says, "Okay, you didn’t have to yell. It wasn’t like I was asking you to jump off a bridge or anything!" I say "Well, it might as well had. Maybe if you get it through your head sometimes! Man Isaac it’s getting harder and harder to talk to you! And I hate that I hate not being able to talk to you." Isaac says, "Hey wait, you’re the one who stopped talking to me! You acted like you couldn’t tell me anything anymore!" I say, "Well, I know, because if I told you, you would have gotten all mad and it would have ended up like this! I didn’t want that to happen because I didn’t want to tell you about how I felt about you having a girlfriend and then after I talked to her how I felt about her because I thought you would get mad and now that I know that you will I don’t want it to happen again. That’s why I can’t talk to you anymore because a lot of what I have to get out of my system is about your girlfriend and I know you will get mad so there now you know! Now you know how I feel about her! Are you happy now?!" Isaac looks at me and says, "No, I’m not happy! I don’t like you this way! In fact I hate you this way!" I looked at him shocked because I had never heard the three words ‘I hate you’ in the same sentence toward me even if there was more to it then I begin to cry. Then I turn away from him and say "You’ve never said anything like this to me before…" Isaac says, coldly, "Doesn’t feel so good when it’s toward you does it?!" I was shocked that he showed no sign of compassion in his voice towards me…and it hurt…it hurt real bad…I then fell to my knees and began to cry harder than I already was…I couldn’t even speak…I just sat there on my knees…and he just stood there for a second then a sense of hope came when he knelt down and kissed my forehead and made me look up at him and says "Don’t think I don’t love you anymore…because I still do…I just don’t like people talking about people…I would do the same thing if it was you…" I say, softly, "You still aren’t listening or understanding me…" Then he cuts me off and he says, "I hear you." I say, "Yeah, you hear me but you aren’t listening to me…she asked me what I thought about her…and I told her what I thought of her without lying to her…" Isaac just looks at me says, "I’m sorry…but I just didn’t want to listen because you made her cry…" I say, still crying a little, "It’s okay…try listening next time." Then he says, "Ok, well, I’m going to go to bed." I say, "Okay, I need to go also." So we both go to bed and everyone in the house is sleeping.
The next morning I am woken up by Jennifer she comes in and says, "Wake up sleepy head! Time for breakfast!" She opens my window and I cover my head with my cover and let out a groan and say, "Go away I’m sleeping." She says "No your breakfast is getting cold." I say, "I’ll heat it up again." Jennifer says "No no no I cooked your favorite breakfast. Eggs, cheese over tomatoes with a bit of basil sprinkled on top, with a side of bacon and a whole wheat bagel with margarine and grape or strawberry jelly." I sit up and say, "Who told you that?!" Jennifer says "Isaac silly! He told me all of your favorites and things that are not your favorite." I say, "Oh he did, did he?" Jennifer says, "Yeah he did, was he not supposed to?" I say, "No it’s okay." Jennifer says, "Well, come on your foods getting cold." I get up and I’m wearing this semi short red satin dress with red panties to match and she says, "Are you going out there in that?" I say "Yeah, why wouldn’t I?" Jennifer says, "Because there are three well developed guys out there that when they see things like this things begin to rise." I say, "Not to me, I’ve grown up with these guys. I’ve taken a bath with Taylor and well, Isaac’s just Isaac and I’ve seen Zac naked I’ve changed his diapers." Jennifer laughs and says "But they’ve grown up now." I say "Fine fine I’ll put some pants on if it makes you happy. Geez, just tell me if you don’t want me out there like that around Isaac." Jennifer looks at me and says, "Wait a second, what are you talking about?!" I say "You think that just because they’ve grown up that they are going to get all horny and all. They know this outfit I wear it all the time. I mean these are three guys who have stayed over my house many times before with me wearing this and nothing has ever happened." Jennifer says "Yeah you may think." At the point I hadn’t put any pants on yet because of the comment I made and I say "Fine if it makes you any less scared that I’m trying to take Isaac I’ll put some pants on geez." So then I put pants on and I walk out of the room and I go out and Isaac says "You feel like you have to cover up now that Jennifer’s here?" I say "No but she’s having a hissy fit so I put some pants on for her." Isaac says "Oh." So then about five minutes later she came out of my room and I had gotten my breakfast and I’m eating. She sat down next to Isaac and kissed him on the cheek and she says, "Ooo you taste good. I bet your lips taste even sweeter." Then she turns his head and kisses him hard on the lips making sure to let out a few moans. Then Isaac stops and says, "What brought on this sudden urge?" Jennifer says "Oh nothing, just feel like it." Then she turns around and looks at me with this teasing grin on her face and says, "So how’s the breakfast?" I just look at her and say, "Could have been better." Jennifer looks at me and says "I made it just how Isaac said to." I say "Well, it would have been better if I wasn’t nearly barfing up my food." The teasing grin returns and she says "Oh, well, sorry." Then she turns back around to Isaac and Taylor and Zac are looking at her like ‘That’s so mean.’ Then I give her this look and say "You know what! I am not going to sit here and let you disrespect me in my own house and if you thought I was you got another thing coming! I know what you’re doing you’re only doing this to make me jealous! I may let you stay here but if I do I will not let you disrespect me right in front of my face and not say anything about it! Is that clear?!" She rolls her eyes and says, "Yes mother." I go up to her and pull her out of her chair and look her straight in the eye as she looks straight into mine and I say, "I can’t seem to understand why Isaac would date a girl like you! I don’t think you even care about him. He found you and I had left to come here and he didn’t have anyone to talk to, to be around, to hold when he needed to. I was always there and now that I’m not he needed someone and he found you. I know you don’t care you just found out enough about me that you tried to replace me but you couldn’t and I think you’re jealous of that." She says "Maybe I am but look who’s with him me or you?" I say "You but I’ll have two things you’ll never have." She says "And what’s that?" I say "His heart and love." She just rolls her eyes and sits back down and I say, "So from this day on for the next two weeks if you want to stay in this house you will respect me." She says "Okay." So then I pick up my plate and take it to the kitchen and go and get dressed. That had just made my day I was just so irritated the rest of the day. So I went out to get some things done and Jennifer comes out and says "Hey where are you going?" I say "Somewhere." Jennifer says, "Can I go?" I say "No." Jennifer says "Why not? It could be a girl’s day out. Or are you going to see another guy? Ooo." I say "No you can’t come because I don’t want you to. And I think you’re being nosy." Jennifer looks at me and I say "Bye," and drive off. Then she goes back into the house and goes to Isaac and says "Why is your best friend so mean to me?" Isaac shrugs but knowing well why and kisses her on the head. Jennifer says "I think I might leave early because I don’t know if I can take anymore of her crap." Isaac says, "What do you mean?" Jennifer says, "You know her constant meanness, how she said she didn’t like me and all you know what I mean." Isaac says, "Well, I don’t understand the meanness but when she said she didn’t like you she didn’t actually say it she said you were too perky that’s all. I didn’t want to hear it either I mean I got mad at her and all. But the fact is that you did ask what she thought of you and she tried to warn you but you wanted to hear anyway so you should have been ready for anything." Jennifer says, "What’s this?! You’re taking her side! I’m your girlfriend not her you supposed to be on my side!" Isaac says, "I don’t have to be on anyone’s side. That’s one of the things I’ve always admired about Cari." Jennifer looks at him and says, "Come again?! What have you always admired about Cari?!" Isaac says "The fact that when we got in a fight and there was a third person involved she didn’t expect me to be on her side. She said it never mattered it was the way things were!" Jennifer says "But how could you believe her over me, I mean, I thought you loved me." Isaac says, "I don’t mean to be mean but I can’t say I love you because I don’t love you. I like you a lot yes but I don’t love you." Jennifer says "I thought you loved me just by your actions." Isaac says "I never told you I loved you, I don’t know why you would come to that conclusion when I hadn’t even said it. The fact is I can’t love you." Jennifer says, "I know what it is. I can’t compare to Cari. You love her I know that’s what it is! You know I think you are dating me trying to replace her. She left and you are dating me because she isn’t there." Isaac looks at her and says "What? What has gotten into you?!" Jennifer says, "I wanna know! I wanna know the truth did you or did you not get with me because she moved?!" Isaac says "It’s true, that’s just part of it though because I really do like you it’s just that she had been around almost all of my life and you don’t know how hard it is when she’s not around. I mean when I had a problem she was always there and when she had a problem I was always there. We were always there for each other. I do love her more than the world more than life. She's like a perfect being to me. I hate what her and I are going through right now and I don’t want to say it’s because of you but to me that’s not what it is to me it’s that she’s jealous of you that you’re with me." Jennifer says, "I see, I knew it. I don’t know how but it was just the look on your face when you talk about her. I could tell you loved her." Isaac says "Yeah, you know she told me she loved me before you came but I couldn’t break up with you just so I could be with her. I didn’t want to do that." Jennifer puts her hand on his face and says "You’re sweet, and I’m touched by your confession but I’m gonna let you go so that you don’t have to be unhappy with me anymore. So I’m gonna leave and you can be with your true love." Then she kisses him on the cheek and goes and gets her things and says goodbye to everyone and she is taking her stuff out to the car as I was pulling up into the driveway. Then I get out and say, "Where are you going?" She looks at me and says, "I’m leaving." I say "Why?" She comes over to me and hugs me and says, "So you can have the man you love." I say "What?" She says, "Isaac told me everything and I understand. You should be happy all I’m doing here is ruining your life." I look at her and look down and I say, "I’m sorry…" Jennifer says, "No don’t be it’s okay, I assure you I knew what he wanted. It’s you he wants and I’m willing to let him go so he can be happy." I say "I thank you and I’m sorry for treating you so bad…" Jennifer says "It’s okay I deserved it, I egged you on and I knew it. Well, I have to be going we’ll have to keep in touch." Then she hugs me again and says "Bye." I say "Bye." Then I watch her put her things in her car and drive off. I then slowly walk in the house and see Isaac sitting there thinking. I walk past him and I hear him turn in the chair as if he was going to say something but he doesn’t and I walk back to my room. I’m sitting there and Taylor walks in and says, "What’s wrong?" I say "Jennifer just broke up with Isaac because of me." Taylor says, "That’s what you wanted right? Well, you didn’t say it out loud but you knew that was the only way you would have a chance with Isaac, right?" I say "Well, yeah but I didn’t know I would feel so bad about it. I mean I never took the chance to really get to know her. I just saw her as this perky girl that I didn’t like because she was with the man I love. I couldn’t stand the fact that they were together and she could say he was hers. But it’s weird now that that’s not the issue anymore. I mean I don’t know whether Isaac is going to be mad at me or not and I’m scared because I hate it even when he’s just a little upset with me." Taylor says "Oh I’m sorry, I mean Isaac did look a little confused I could talk to him if you want." I say "No if anyone should talk to him it should be me no matter how his attitude is toward me." Taylor says "Yeah, true. So how are you going to do it?" I say, "I don’t know, I haven’t thought that far ahead yet." Taylor says, "Yeah, I can imagine with all that’s been going on." I say "Yeah…" Then we just sit in the room and talk for a little longer. Later that evening, Taylor and I come out of the room and Isaac isn’t sitting at the table anymore, in fact he’s not even in the house. I see Zac sitting on the couch and I say "Hey Zac, where’s Isaac?" Zac says "Oh he said he couldn’t stay here." I say, "Did he say why?" Zac says, "Well he mumbled something about it’s too painful." I look down and say, "Oh, he said that?" Zac says, "He mumbled it, but I don’t know what he meant by it." I say, "It could mean anything. It could mean that it’s too painful for him to stay here and see my face because I’m guilty of driving Jennifer away. It could mean anything." Then Taylor looks at me and says, "Yes it could mean anything but keep your options open. Don’t assume too quickly." I say "Yeah you’re right, I’m just starting to think that everything that’s happening is happening because of me and that scares me that he can be feeling all of this pain because of me." Zac gets up and comes over to me and looks me in the eye and says "Look you haven’t heard all of the story because Isaac isn’t here so I don’t think you should assume that the reason is about you. Just calm down and don’t worry so much. Worrying never got anyone anywhere." Zac gives me an encouraging smile and says, "Come on cheer up!" I give him a small smile and he hugs me and says, "It’ll be better. I know it." Then he lets go of me and smiles at me and sees that my eyes are getting a bit watery and he says "Oh no you don’t. Don’t you cry on me!" Then a few tears fall and he pouts and says "Aww man!! Come on please stop crying! Please!! Please!! Please!!" I kind of laugh and says "Sorry Zac it’s just I don’t want to lose him if as anything as a friend." Zac says, "I know. But please stop crying, please?!" I wipe the tears away from my eyes and smile at him and he puts his arm around my shoulder and we walked over to the couch and we sit down.
A few days pass and we haven’t heard from Isaac since the day he left. So I was surprised when he called, I was in my room when he called and my mom called me out there to get the phone. So I go out there and I take the phone from my mom and say, "Hello?" Then I hear the voice on the other end say, "Hello, this is Cari right?" I say, "Yes." The caller says, "It’s me Isaac." I smile hopeful and say, "Hey Isaac, how are you?" Isaac says "A little better. We need to talk." I say, "I know we do." Isaac says "Why don’t you meet me at the apartments down the streets?" I say, "Okay, I’ll be there." Isaac says, "Okay, we really need to talk." I say, "Okay, I’ll be there. See you in a few." Isaac says "Yeah, bye." I say "Bye." We hang up the phone and I grab my keys and get ready to walk out of the door and Taylor stops me and says "Where you going?" I say, "To see Isaac." Taylor says, "He actually called?!" I say, "Yeah, he did. He said we needed to talk so I’m going to meet him." Taylor says, "Good luck and tell me how it goes." I say, "Thanks and I will." So I leave and I get in the car and drive to the apartments and I see Isaac he is leaning up against his car waiting. So I pull up right beside him and get out and walk over to him. He looks at me with absolutely no emotion on his face. So I stand there and look in his eyes and I can’t see anything about what he’s feeling. So we are standing there silent and then I can’t take it anymore and I say, "You wanted to talk?" Isaac says, "Yeah, we need to." I say "Yeah, so where do we start?" Isaac says, "Well, first I want to know is why you lead me to believe you liked her and you knew you didn’t?" I say, "You know this answer I’ve answered it before and it’s the same answer I didn’t say I didn’t like her I just said she was too perky. I never said I didn’t like her." Isaac says, "Do you want to rephrase that?" I say, "No, why?" Isaac says "Because I think you didn’t like her but you just didn’t say it to me because you knew it would hurt me. Well, you know what telling me and hurting me is better than lying to me because in the end it hurts anyway." I look down and say "I’m sorry…I just can’t do anything right can I?!" Isaac says "It's not that…I just don’t like it when you lie to me." I’m still looking down and I say "A few days ago when you left Zac said you mumbled something when you left. He said you said it was too painful to stay at my house. Was that because you would see all of the pain I was causing you?" Isaac says "No not at all, I left because I didn’t want to stay there and cause anyone else pain. I mean I needed to get out to think to clear my mind and I didn’t want you to have to see that. These past few days have been a very painful few days. I mean I really liked Jennifer and I wish you would have liked her to. Then there was the fact that she was breaking up with me so I could be with you. I couldn’t believe she did that but then I realized why she did it. She did it because she saw us fighting that night when I thought I put her to bed when you made her cry. She told me over the phone when I called her and she told me that the real reason she did it was so that we could be together but also because you were supposed to be someone I grew up with and we were happier before she came in the picture and she wanted to put us back together only the way we want to be. I stayed away because I didn’t and still don’t want to be together just yet. I just want to give us time to talk to get back to where we were before you left." I say "Yeah and that’s understandable, I miss the way we were I hate fighting with you. I cried at night when we fought because I can’t stand it when you are mad at me I mean you had never been mad at me once before you came down here. So I didn’t know how to handle it so I just cried." Isaac puts his hands on my shoulder and begins to rub my shoulders and says "I hated fighting with you just as much as you hated fighting with me but I do admit you are cute when you cry. How about this we start off on a clean slate and be best friends again." I say, "Okay, so will you come back?" Isaac says "Yes I will." So I help him put his things in his car and we drive back to my house and we get out of our cars and I help him take his things into my house and we are laughing. We walk in and Zac is sitting at the table and says "See told you everything would be fine!" I say "And I love you for your intuition." Then I kiss his cheek and take Isaac’s stuff to my room. We continued to talk and mend our broken seams and were back to being best friends.