The amount of happiness you felt when you were with him...
equals to the amount of pain you experience when you start to miss him.
When you've finally found the happiness that you've been longing for; when finally, everything feels great; when finally you start to feel as if you don't have to stand up for yourself... You break down.
When you feel as if your happiness depends on another person. You cry, because you feel frustrated. You cry because you've been longing for it. The laugh that makes your inside hurts, the smile that makes your cheeks feel like tons of weight. The small touches that makes your skin burn. His breath that's addictive. His scent that you can't just get enough of. His strong arms wrapping around your waist, making you feel loved, and secured.
When others see you're sad and tears fall down your face, they tell you, "he isn't worth it." How are they so sure? How are they so sure that he's not worth missing? They weren't there when he made you genuinely happy. They didn't witness the fleeting feeling when you felt as if you were the only people left in the earth.
He made you shut down everything. He got you trapped in a world wherein finally everything is perfect. He broke the barrier of black and white, allowing colors to start invading your mind.
You become addicted to the feeling. Just when you think that colors are reality, he leaves. And suddenly, it's black and white all over again. You run and run, trying to search for the hue. But it was just not there.
You become lost. And begin to miss. Your chest feels heavy because it was experiencing the real reality once more. No more fleeting feeling, no more genuine happiness... You have to built the barrier again. You have to stand up for yourself again. And it hurts. You're turning crazy. You don't know what to do anymore. You don't understand.
The amount of happiness you felt when you were with him... equals to the amount of pain you experience when you start to miss him. And it's unfair, because you always protected yourself from the pain, so it hurts more. It really does. More than you can imagine. More than you can bear.