Ride of my life.
Woooooo. Damn I feel like crap. Slept maybe two hours if I am lucky. Sucks arse it does. Meh, stress does that, but I am winning this fight. It's hard and everything but I have never given up in my life. It will suck for some time, and usually I hide, running away so I can deal with it alone. However, this time I shall not, despite the fact the people I wish would be there to help me through it and talk aren't there. I still find it hard to trust people, especially given the fact whenever I would open up to someone, BAM, the whole world knows. I don't want that, I want someone who will be patient, and listen, and even understand, or be atleast willing to try to. We'll see. Right now I got a lot of people jumping down my throats, and I find it disgruntling, but perhaps necessary. Such things will help me make the decisions I need to in times to come. Starting with when I go visit my sister tommorrow. Soon, I hope, I will acquire a job at Kitty Hawk. It will be rough, major physical labor, but it will help me get back in shape. The job itself is set hours early as hell in the mornin, but the pay is $10/hr starting so that's not so bad. from 12:30am to 6:30am will allow me to still be able to go to church and such, so there is an upside. Will also keep me open for a possible second part-time job. That way I can go out on my own, and stop depending on people, and be able to repay those who have done so much for me. I regret a lot of what I have said and done, and I doubt anything I can do or say now will change anything. All I can do is hope for a better future, and that things work out somehow. Maybe my dreams will come true, but I have responsibilities first. Well, despite the fact I am scared of going to sleep I figure it is best I try and hope for the best. I just need to get rid of this chest pain, it's killin me. Until next time on 'In the Life of a Weasel'. Ciao. ^_~