dancing monkeys
i'm blah.
there's an interview going on right now as i type. position? studio assitance. hmm. what position am i currently? yes, that's right. studio assitance.
yep. i only have garuanteed three more weeks pay. but i could be out in a week. and i'm totally okay with that. it's definiely a god lead. company re-org, people moving on, going on mat leave. they've been forced to take the company on a different route. hire two new peole to cover old duteis and responibilites. they offered the newly made position, or rather, builded upon position, to me. but seeing as i've been brutally hoenst with them for the last year and half, they knew it wasn't me. wasn't my shape, wasn't my fit, wasn't my area of expertise. basically, it wasn't my passion.
but that doesn't make me listening in on [by force. trust me, i'd leave if i could] intvw's any easier. there was one girl this morning that was going on about how she loved writing. the response that was given to her was exactly how the responded to me. when i told them i was passionate about writing as well. like a new discovery of creative outlet. i actually almost started crying. i misted. i don't really know why though. i feel like i'm being shoveled out. and shovel's aren't comfy. no siree bob.
found out about this new direction last friday. was honestly feeing really good about it. but now, it's like i've settled for the insecure lies. ie, 'i can't dpo the job properly and they're leaping at any excuse to rid me of this place. they patted me on the head offering it to me, knowing full well i wouldn't take it'. satan's having a field day. on my effin field. i know my bosses. they're honest, god-fearing folk. they don't beat around bushes. if they didn't beat around bushes for this whole time i've been a part of the company, why would they choose my bush to beat now? ya know? that doesn't make sense. therefore, i'm twisting and maniuputling the situation.
but why is that so easy to do? and then, once it's twisted and manipulated, why is it so easy to stay there? and so hard to get out of?
i'm DEFinitely blah. i want to go home. and cry. no, not cry. maybe cry first, but then go to the beach and search and search search. guess i'm gonna have to settle for searching here, at my desk.
and i'm getting treated worser [yah. that's a word. no really!] than ever. i have a feeling i'm in for a rough two weeks. god get me through.
dance monkey, dance!!! o
there's an interview going on right now as i type. position? studio assitance. hmm. what position am i currently? yes, that's right. studio assitance.
yep. i only have garuanteed three more weeks pay. but i could be out in a week. and i'm totally okay with that. it's definiely a god lead. company re-org, people moving on, going on mat leave. they've been forced to take the company on a different route. hire two new peole to cover old duteis and responibilites. they offered the newly made position, or rather, builded upon position, to me. but seeing as i've been brutally hoenst with them for the last year and half, they knew it wasn't me. wasn't my shape, wasn't my fit, wasn't my area of expertise. basically, it wasn't my passion.
but that doesn't make me listening in on [by force. trust me, i'd leave if i could] intvw's any easier. there was one girl this morning that was going on about how she loved writing. the response that was given to her was exactly how the responded to me. when i told them i was passionate about writing as well. like a new discovery of creative outlet. i actually almost started crying. i misted. i don't really know why though. i feel like i'm being shoveled out. and shovel's aren't comfy. no siree bob.
found out about this new direction last friday. was honestly feeing really good about it. but now, it's like i've settled for the insecure lies. ie, 'i can't dpo the job properly and they're leaping at any excuse to rid me of this place. they patted me on the head offering it to me, knowing full well i wouldn't take it'. satan's having a field day. on my effin field. i know my bosses. they're honest, god-fearing folk. they don't beat around bushes. if they didn't beat around bushes for this whole time i've been a part of the company, why would they choose my bush to beat now? ya know? that doesn't make sense. therefore, i'm twisting and maniuputling the situation.
but why is that so easy to do? and then, once it's twisted and manipulated, why is it so easy to stay there? and so hard to get out of?
i'm DEFinitely blah. i want to go home. and cry. no, not cry. maybe cry first, but then go to the beach and search and search search. guess i'm gonna have to settle for searching here, at my desk.
and i'm getting treated worser [yah. that's a word. no really!] than ever. i have a feeling i'm in for a rough two weeks. god get me through.
dance monkey, dance!!! o