The Collar of Commitment
Being married is like wearing an invisible collar, leashed to the institution and your spouse. Each leash differs in length, but at some point, we will all venture to a point where we feel the gentle (or not so gentle) tugging of our leash, reminding us "where the line is drawn". Some of us are chastised for having longer leashes, some of us pitied for having shorter leashes, but each relationship defines the tightness of its collars, and the lengths of its leashes based on the needs of the "unit", the couple as a whole.
Contrary to comic depictions of marriage, it is not accompanied by an iron cuff paired with a chain and ball, as if it were a period of imprisonment. Rather, marriage is a collar made of leather, that flexes as your relationship grows, weathering the storms and blows of your contradictions. When you, a collared victim, choose to extend beyond the length of your leash, you are certainly free to do so. However, your collar will fall apart and come off. Some of us will put it back on and pretend it never happened, and some of us will prefer it off. Many of us will go to great lengths to maintain the collar, we will attempt to glue it back together, tying it to stay on, and even holding it with their hands to keep it together. And when we fail, we will lie about the incident, explaining with great intensity what accident made it fall, how we were victimized by the entire fiasco, and how we were not responsible at all.
...All the time forgetting that marriage is a choice, the collar can be taken off, and many do so, it is not a life sentence any one of us needs endure against our will. Those of us who have tried piecing a collar back together will have realized that the same collar will never fit as comfortably as it did the first time on your wedding day.
Contrary to comic depictions of marriage, it is not accompanied by an iron cuff paired with a chain and ball, as if it were a period of imprisonment. Rather, marriage is a collar made of leather, that flexes as your relationship grows, weathering the storms and blows of your contradictions. When you, a collared victim, choose to extend beyond the length of your leash, you are certainly free to do so. However, your collar will fall apart and come off. Some of us will put it back on and pretend it never happened, and some of us will prefer it off. Many of us will go to great lengths to maintain the collar, we will attempt to glue it back together, tying it to stay on, and even holding it with their hands to keep it together. And when we fail, we will lie about the incident, explaining with great intensity what accident made it fall, how we were victimized by the entire fiasco, and how we were not responsible at all.
...All the time forgetting that marriage is a choice, the collar can be taken off, and many do so, it is not a life sentence any one of us needs endure against our will. Those of us who have tried piecing a collar back together will have realized that the same collar will never fit as comfortably as it did the first time on your wedding day.