And ever flightful lady luck-- she always returns to me.
Thanksgiving was fun; I had two friends visiting me, and even though we didn't do anything tourist-like it was great just seeing them again, taking purikuri, going shopping, and having a "girls' night". I realized that real friends are hard to make, hard to please, and hard to keep--but damn, they're worth all my effort.
Unfortunately the holidays were followed by chaos; in that I was many many days late in turning in my 2nd midterm for Philosophy class, and I had no idea what my opinion on the symbolic harm associated with same-sex marriage is because somehow the question was a lot simpler before I had to write about it. Thankfully my professor not only accepted my 4-page midterm on Monday, but he even apologized for not hearing me knock when in fact I had purposely avoided him and slipped the essays under his door >P It would've sucked to explain why it was late, especially since my first midterm was also late (my skin wasn't thick enough to email the assignment for the second time so I made a special trip to campus just to turn the essay in), and we all know I have no legitimate reason to turn in late-essays...Usually it's that I procrastinated too long, or I overestimated myself...Sometimes it's both and I just sat here and stared at the screen.
For Wednesday I had to write my 6-page analysis on Kalevala titled "Joukahainen's Maturation Process" and give a 10-minute presentation on it. Given that I had just figured out my thesis on Monday (hahaa~ professors are useful after all!) I had to pull an all-nighter on Tuesday in order to get it done. Then I had to go to the class that followed or else I wouldn't know what to write in the final Philosophy paper that's due next week. And even though my classes ended at 3pm, I had to stay on campus (with my 2nd cup of coffee) and wait for my friend so that we could work on our Japanese skit, which we had to present the next day (today). That took about 3 hours in the library, so naturally by the time I got home it was dark (again, what's with this week? always home after dark x.x) and I went straight to bed and stayed in until this morning :D Today I did my Japanese presentation, then went to get boba and buy a present (so hard ._.)...But I have to go to the post office to send the present, the library to get books for the essay I have to write this weekend, and to the language lab because I realized that I can't just make it up next week...
So today I get to relax a little, but I have two essays and three finals all on Monday&Tuesday--heh, so I'm guessing that'll be stressful...again. ><;
dreams I had last night were very stressful x.x;'> In one I was part of some kind of squad; we were in an apartment, I was beginning to panic cause we were just waiting for a group (another squad?) to attack. So I ask for a weapon, and what do I get? This handgun that has a pink cloth cover (and it's decorated with shiny pieces!) and it was all...poofy. LOL I wondered about that, and it turns out it was stuffed, so I remove the stuffing--but I'm in a hurry 'cause the enemy was just seen entering our building, and I realize that it's UNLOADED. So people start giving me bullets, but in my dream they're batteries and I remove them from their packaging and put them in. Then when others are moving I take a bunch and stuff them in my pockets (yeah I'm afraid of dying x.x). It skips a little, but at some point I'm told that we're all going to hide in the rooms and wait for them to find us, so I and a few others enter a bedroom, but I can't decide where to hide (every corner seems like I'll get shot before I can kill the enemy, and even if I don't the enemy is numerous so it's like it's inevitable). Then there's also this scene where I'm next to a fellow squad member (a girl) and the enemy comes, and I yell that I have no bullets, so she tries to shoot the enemy, but all we hear is click!!! @__@;;;;; So the enemy had her at gunpoint, and we're looking at each other like holy shit but then someone else enters the room and there's enough distraction for me to reload my gun and shoot the enemy. xD
Anyway, the whole point is that throughout the dream I'm under serious stress...I'm constantly worried about dying, I know that in the whole squad I'm probably the least experienced and I have no idea why we're doing this, why we're under attack, and why I seem like the only civilian in the apartment. And I keep reminding myself that everything will be fine, I will survive, I won't die, etc...But then I remember just how dire the situation is and how optimism is not going to take a bullet for me and this shows in my speech, 'cause I remember at some point someone asks me if I want something (an object) and I say "Sure, leave it there and if I'll take it later if I'm still alive.". Basically from this dream you can tell that I really dislike those shooting games where you're walking in a maze and trying to shoot people before they shoot you. I used to play a little when I was in elementary, but I was always so stressed about dying that I'm not suited to playing them ._.;
The second dream was actually a family thing, where we go on this ride (as in what an amusement park has) and each 'cart' has four seats. At first I & my mom sit in front and we have this thick red jacket that covers our legs. And I lean in, because on the sides there are scary things that move, and there's a sense that it's all very real. Next to my legs there are 3 buttons, but I don't know what they do even though I know at some point it may be necessary to push them. There are monsters on the sidelines, in some "rooms" they are big and far too close, and in others they are kind of far away. The weapon I have is not really a weapon, but a "power" which is to shoot red 'laser' arrows out of thin air with just the movements of my hands. When I sat in front, I kept my hands ready just in case, but I only remember shooting on a couple of occasions.
Later, we seem to go on it again (we must be freakin' crazy e.e'''''), but this time my dad sits in front so I sit in the back with my sister. It feels weird not having the warmth and security of the jacket. I'm not that prepared to fight, but every now and then I become prepared, because my dad's apparent unpreparedness makes me nervous.
We actually end up switching places again, which is a good thing because I was kind of confused about why I had to sit in the back the 2nd time (apparently he has to press the buttons...?). I don't remember anything from the last time except that I leaned into the middle so that I was lying down and then I tested my weapon a couple of times because the power only works inside the ride system.
This was a really complicated dream with a book or something, and a lot of families outside and there's a warning that a "movie" or something is played in the beginning of the ride but you should not watch it...I can't quite remember the details, but I do remember having similar dreams in the past.
On another note, I've been in contact with admissions from San Jose State again, and they're making a lot of demands ><; My dad's sent my HS IB diploma all the way from Finland (the IB-diploma is such a weird size that I didn't bring it with me) and I have to send more documents over because they only accept the originals. All I have to say is that if I don't get in next semester I'm going to be muy annoyed ¬¬ San Francisco State has also (finally) contacted me, but they haven't reached the annoying level that SJSU has (they're slower in processing? or they just have more applications). The funny thing is that I had just decided before thanksgiving that I don't care about transfering anymore, but right after I decided I would do everything it takes to at least try and transfer back to the Bay Area because in the end that's where I want to be. But I waver in my resolve, because on my antisocial days I just think about how much I'll hate it here in the summer when it's burning hot (heat wave, anyone??), and on my social days I worry about moving all the shit I have in this room, about the new friends I've made here, about how much more it'll cost to live there, and about facing my uncle if I do move x___x;
What fashion designer fits you
Dolce & Gabanna: Classy with an edge. You take traditional ideas and give them a kick in the ass! Always stylish and appropriate for everywhere!
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What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics)
You are a Siren. More adventurous than all with a voice like no other you sit on warm rocks and sing to the moon and sea. Yet sometimes shipwrecks find you and raving men want you. You are a bottle of talent and power. What the unknown is you seek to find, and a lover. You have the moon and stars as freinds. There are a very few of you, what a rare find. Will you rate my quiz, I think your voice in just beautiful?
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Oh, and I dare you to ask me about the gift. ;3 It's an interesting story that I don't feel like writing about (in fact, most of the time I don't want to think about it).
Unfortunately the holidays were followed by chaos; in that I was many many days late in turning in my 2nd midterm for Philosophy class, and I had no idea what my opinion on the symbolic harm associated with same-sex marriage is because somehow the question was a lot simpler before I had to write about it. Thankfully my professor not only accepted my 4-page midterm on Monday, but he even apologized for not hearing me knock when in fact I had purposely avoided him and slipped the essays under his door >P It would've sucked to explain why it was late, especially since my first midterm was also late (my skin wasn't thick enough to email the assignment for the second time so I made a special trip to campus just to turn the essay in), and we all know I have no legitimate reason to turn in late-essays...Usually it's that I procrastinated too long, or I overestimated myself...Sometimes it's both and I just sat here and stared at the screen.
For Wednesday I had to write my 6-page analysis on Kalevala titled "Joukahainen's Maturation Process" and give a 10-minute presentation on it. Given that I had just figured out my thesis on Monday (hahaa~ professors are useful after all!) I had to pull an all-nighter on Tuesday in order to get it done. Then I had to go to the class that followed or else I wouldn't know what to write in the final Philosophy paper that's due next week. And even though my classes ended at 3pm, I had to stay on campus (with my 2nd cup of coffee) and wait for my friend so that we could work on our Japanese skit, which we had to present the next day (today). That took about 3 hours in the library, so naturally by the time I got home it was dark (again, what's with this week? always home after dark x.x) and I went straight to bed and stayed in until this morning :D Today I did my Japanese presentation, then went to get boba and buy a present (so hard ._.)...But I have to go to the post office to send the present, the library to get books for the essay I have to write this weekend, and to the language lab because I realized that I can't just make it up next week...
So today I get to relax a little, but I have two essays and three finals all on Monday&Tuesday--heh, so I'm guessing that'll be stressful...again. ><;
dreams I had last night were very stressful x.x;'> In one I was part of some kind of squad; we were in an apartment, I was beginning to panic cause we were just waiting for a group (another squad?) to attack. So I ask for a weapon, and what do I get? This handgun that has a pink cloth cover (and it's decorated with shiny pieces!) and it was all...poofy. LOL I wondered about that, and it turns out it was stuffed, so I remove the stuffing--but I'm in a hurry 'cause the enemy was just seen entering our building, and I realize that it's UNLOADED. So people start giving me bullets, but in my dream they're batteries and I remove them from their packaging and put them in. Then when others are moving I take a bunch and stuff them in my pockets (yeah I'm afraid of dying x.x). It skips a little, but at some point I'm told that we're all going to hide in the rooms and wait for them to find us, so I and a few others enter a bedroom, but I can't decide where to hide (every corner seems like I'll get shot before I can kill the enemy, and even if I don't the enemy is numerous so it's like it's inevitable). Then there's also this scene where I'm next to a fellow squad member (a girl) and the enemy comes, and I yell that I have no bullets, so she tries to shoot the enemy, but all we hear is click!!! @__@;;;;; So the enemy had her at gunpoint, and we're looking at each other like holy shit but then someone else enters the room and there's enough distraction for me to reload my gun and shoot the enemy. xD
Anyway, the whole point is that throughout the dream I'm under serious stress...I'm constantly worried about dying, I know that in the whole squad I'm probably the least experienced and I have no idea why we're doing this, why we're under attack, and why I seem like the only civilian in the apartment. And I keep reminding myself that everything will be fine, I will survive, I won't die, etc...But then I remember just how dire the situation is and how optimism is not going to take a bullet for me and this shows in my speech, 'cause I remember at some point someone asks me if I want something (an object) and I say "Sure, leave it there and if I'll take it later if I'm still alive.". Basically from this dream you can tell that I really dislike those shooting games where you're walking in a maze and trying to shoot people before they shoot you. I used to play a little when I was in elementary, but I was always so stressed about dying that I'm not suited to playing them ._.;
The second dream was actually a family thing, where we go on this ride (as in what an amusement park has) and each 'cart' has four seats. At first I & my mom sit in front and we have this thick red jacket that covers our legs. And I lean in, because on the sides there are scary things that move, and there's a sense that it's all very real. Next to my legs there are 3 buttons, but I don't know what they do even though I know at some point it may be necessary to push them. There are monsters on the sidelines, in some "rooms" they are big and far too close, and in others they are kind of far away. The weapon I have is not really a weapon, but a "power" which is to shoot red 'laser' arrows out of thin air with just the movements of my hands. When I sat in front, I kept my hands ready just in case, but I only remember shooting on a couple of occasions.
Later, we seem to go on it again (we must be freakin' crazy e.e'''''), but this time my dad sits in front so I sit in the back with my sister. It feels weird not having the warmth and security of the jacket. I'm not that prepared to fight, but every now and then I become prepared, because my dad's apparent unpreparedness makes me nervous.
We actually end up switching places again, which is a good thing because I was kind of confused about why I had to sit in the back the 2nd time (apparently he has to press the buttons...?). I don't remember anything from the last time except that I leaned into the middle so that I was lying down and then I tested my weapon a couple of times because the power only works inside the ride system.
This was a really complicated dream with a book or something, and a lot of families outside and there's a warning that a "movie" or something is played in the beginning of the ride but you should not watch it...I can't quite remember the details, but I do remember having similar dreams in the past.
On another note, I've been in contact with admissions from San Jose State again, and they're making a lot of demands ><; My dad's sent my HS IB diploma all the way from Finland (the IB-diploma is such a weird size that I didn't bring it with me) and I have to send more documents over because they only accept the originals. All I have to say is that if I don't get in next semester I'm going to be muy annoyed ¬¬ San Francisco State has also (finally) contacted me, but they haven't reached the annoying level that SJSU has (they're slower in processing? or they just have more applications). The funny thing is that I had just decided before thanksgiving that I don't care about transfering anymore, but right after I decided I would do everything it takes to at least try and transfer back to the Bay Area because in the end that's where I want to be. But I waver in my resolve, because on my antisocial days I just think about how much I'll hate it here in the summer when it's burning hot (heat wave, anyone??), and on my social days I worry about moving all the shit I have in this room, about the new friends I've made here, about how much more it'll cost to live there, and about facing my uncle if I do move x___x;
What fashion designer fits you
Dolce & Gabanna: Classy with an edge. You take traditional ideas and give them a kick in the ass! Always stylish and appropriate for everywhere!
Take this quiz!
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What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics)
You are a Siren. More adventurous than all with a voice like no other you sit on warm rocks and sing to the moon and sea. Yet sometimes shipwrecks find you and raving men want you. You are a bottle of talent and power. What the unknown is you seek to find, and a lover. You have the moon and stars as freinds. There are a very few of you, what a rare find. Will you rate my quiz, I think your voice in just beautiful?
Take this quiz!
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Oh, and I dare you to ask me about the gift. ;3 It's an interesting story that I don't feel like writing about (in fact, most of the time I don't want to think about it).