Depression... Suicide?
I found out Jamie left this morning at before 7:30 AM, I wanted to ask her if she had any input on Zacks haircut he got today.
She's still gone, it's after 10 PM and her mom doesn't expect her back tonight...
Self-Confidence? Gone.
Self-Esteem? Gone.
Self-Worth? Not gonna bother.
I feel like a waste of flesh.
A Useless being, not fit to be here.
Unattractive.
Uncared for.
Unloved.
I Know its not true, I have friends and loved ones.
But I feel so... pathetic.
I've been used by a Raging Cunt for 2 and a half years! Because me loving her was the "Easy" Life, and shes sick of me not letting her do whatever she feels like so she left! I Even found out she admitted she DIDNT WANT ZACK! When I tried to put it off but was so deeply in love with her I let her have her way.
I Feel used.
I Feel dirty.
And by all that is holy, I wish I had someone to love me.
Not a Family Member.
Not someone online.
Not a Friend, or someone whose already in love with someone else.
I want a girl who can just hold me, and care for me, and tell ME for once it'll be alright.
I'm sick of being strong, But I Don't have a god damned Choice.
My mom has mental issues, Not only Have I had to be here for her but I will be here for her till she's dead. I love her and she helps me survive, so its fair.
Zack is now my responsibility, How can I Trust him with this Bitch? I Have to be strong for him.
Even depressed I have to "Be okay" for my friends because they have lives and problems of there own, and I can't push too hard or I may screw them over.
I Want someone to be there for MY emotions god fucking damn it!
Are you listening to me God? I have somethings to tell you? FUCK YOU! WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU? Your laughing at my pain, after years of loved ones dying nearly every other year on a schedule you give me love, a son, and then FUCK ME OVER!? She's going to try and KEEP me from him? She's already done with me, because its convenient? I fucking wish I could stare you down and shove a Shadow Blast where your fucking Face used to be! And if its Karma! Oh I'm looking for you Karma! I'M GOING TO GUT YOU LIKE THE CUNT YOU ARE!.....
I'm Done with this shit
I am done with being the victim
I am considering Curb-Stomping Sin
I am considering DECKING Jamie
But I'm too god damned nice and worried of losing my son
I swear to ANYTHING listening to me, If I can unleash Kurai FUCKING RUN. Because I WILL unleash hell on earth you bastards!
Twenty minutes ago I was ready to slit my wrists.
Now I want to slit a throat.
I won't.
I'm too responsible.
But by all that is holy I wish I could.
It will probably all be depression again within an hour
But For now, I am pissed.
May no one get in my fucking way.
She's still gone, it's after 10 PM and her mom doesn't expect her back tonight...
Self-Confidence? Gone.
Self-Esteem? Gone.
Self-Worth? Not gonna bother.
I feel like a waste of flesh.
A Useless being, not fit to be here.
Unattractive.
Uncared for.
Unloved.
I Know its not true, I have friends and loved ones.
But I feel so... pathetic.
I've been used by a Raging Cunt for 2 and a half years! Because me loving her was the "Easy" Life, and shes sick of me not letting her do whatever she feels like so she left! I Even found out she admitted she DIDNT WANT ZACK! When I tried to put it off but was so deeply in love with her I let her have her way.
I Feel used.
I Feel dirty.
And by all that is holy, I wish I had someone to love me.
Not a Family Member.
Not someone online.
Not a Friend, or someone whose already in love with someone else.
I want a girl who can just hold me, and care for me, and tell ME for once it'll be alright.
I'm sick of being strong, But I Don't have a god damned Choice.
My mom has mental issues, Not only Have I had to be here for her but I will be here for her till she's dead. I love her and she helps me survive, so its fair.
Zack is now my responsibility, How can I Trust him with this Bitch? I Have to be strong for him.
Even depressed I have to "Be okay" for my friends because they have lives and problems of there own, and I can't push too hard or I may screw them over.
I Want someone to be there for MY emotions god fucking damn it!
Are you listening to me God? I have somethings to tell you? FUCK YOU! WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU? Your laughing at my pain, after years of loved ones dying nearly every other year on a schedule you give me love, a son, and then FUCK ME OVER!? She's going to try and KEEP me from him? She's already done with me, because its convenient? I fucking wish I could stare you down and shove a Shadow Blast where your fucking Face used to be! And if its Karma! Oh I'm looking for you Karma! I'M GOING TO GUT YOU LIKE THE CUNT YOU ARE!.....
I'm Done with this shit
I am done with being the victim
I am considering Curb-Stomping Sin
I am considering DECKING Jamie
But I'm too god damned nice and worried of losing my son
I swear to ANYTHING listening to me, If I can unleash Kurai FUCKING RUN. Because I WILL unleash hell on earth you bastards!
Twenty minutes ago I was ready to slit my wrists.
Now I want to slit a throat.
I won't.
I'm too responsible.
But by all that is holy I wish I could.
It will probably all be depression again within an hour
But For now, I am pissed.
May no one get in my fucking way.