Sunday Thoughts
Okay, so on Sunday i was over John's. I was there the night before, but that's not the point right now. I forget why his mom wasn't home, but she said she had to go out for a little while. Can't blame her there since the day was beautiful. I had brought a CD with me that I had burned on Saturday. I won't lie, it was a lovey dovey CD, full of love songs. For me it was a kinda like my trip from not caring to, holy fuck I luffs. When John started to get stressed out he wanted to lay upstairs in his room. I thought it would be a nice time to listen to the CD. I still sometimes get a little nervous at my choice of songs if he ends up hating it or not getting it. Which is kind of dumb since I'm the one that likes it.
I think we were upstairs for not even a minute. I had took my backpack up there since it had my laptop. But John never came. He was still in the living room talking to his mother about chores or something stupid like that. So I'm waiting, and bleeeeh. I don't know why it annoyed me so, it just did. When I went backstairs, John's mom was getting ready to leave. I ended up sitting on the stool that's by the island that blocks off the kitchen and living room. John was still on the couch playing with his laptop. I think that might have been part of it. John is always on the computer and it can be a little hard to catch his attention. I forget what I tried to do. I remember I was trying to give John that look running my finger across the top of his laptop. He didn't really get it though. I still have some issues with just saying what I want. Specially when I get upset. Again i went upstairs feeling a bit annoyed before getting my CD out of my laptop. I had written on it, "Nanashi Love, 15 songs." 15 isn't a bad number, I thought. When I came back downstairs, I dropped the CD about as loud as you can with a CD on the island. It caught John's attention, and asks if I'm okay. I say sure and went to the bathroom. When I came back out I sat back on the stool and finally John gets up and comes over to me. He had that concerned look on his face where he knows something is. He asks, I gave the tiniest of shrugs, he asks again, I stare up at him, he give me a hug, I cling, and when he tried to pull away, I didn't let go. He joked around and flailed as we sometimes do. I think this is when my CD caught his attention. I don't know what he was piecing together in his head, but he ended up asking me if I wanted to make a very small trip with him to a store. Of course I said sure. I thought maybe we could listen to my CD or whatever.
In the car we drove down the road to either a Wawa or 7-elven, I never really paid to much attention. I'm think we're just going there because John ran out of soda in the house. To which I was right, he got me a cherry Dr. Pepper, and I forget what he got. We go to the counter and I'm half paying attention. Then I heard John ask the clerk for some condoms. I don't know why I still feel awkward when we're getting those things. I mean, I'm not stupid, just awkward. So it becomes clear that he bought the soda so he was at least buying something else. Plus John was pretty calm. When we got back in the car I was about to blow another bubble from the gum I was chewing and he ended up kissing me. For a moment, I thought he was going to be all slick and end up taking my gum, but nwah.
Drive back to the house, go inside, I handed the soda to John to put in the fridge since I had the bag. I put the bag down and watch John whirl around the two rooms putting crap away and then grabbing his laptop. I remember walking closer to where he was standing and noticed my CD had disappeared off of the island. Now things are just crystal clear to me. John leads me upstairs and he tries to play the CD in his laptop, but for whatever reason the stupid think wouldn't work. But considering I was listening to it yesterday I just popped it in my laptop. Skipped the first song because it was New York Minute, and that can be a little sad. So what comes on next? Why it was, Somebody to Love, by Queen. John knows I love it when I hear him sing that song. It was like things were in slow motion at first and then BAM, that happened. Though it was a bit different this time. I don't talk, I really don't. More of that awkward feeling there for talking. John kept egging me on and on and on until I finally just screamed at him in the face. and as usual when that much emotion is let out, my eyes water. That and I left more marks on John. The first one was this super nasty hicky I left on his shoulder. Seriously whenever I looked at it, I can't believe I did that to his skin. The other thing was the sheer amount of scratches I left on him. Most of them were on his chest, but there were a bit on his back, and on his sides. The one side looked like I almost cut him with my nails. So yeah.. bleh. John didn't care. Afterward he took pictures of his marks with his phone. Fuck if I know what he does with it.
So after that mess, John and I were suppose to meet up some friends from D-toid and have lunch/dinner with them at this bar that's nuts about beer. Seriously they had like four pages in their menu of nothing but beer. Kyle said he was the one that picked the place, since he really loves his beer. The three of us talked for a while until Articfox and his friend finally showed. We all talked more, joked around. I think the reason Fox didn't remember me at Pax was for one my hair was longer then, and two I was ungodly shy around everyone. After the lunch thing, Fox's friend had to leave, so we all said bye to him and ended up going to this hooka bar across the street. I wanted to try the turkish coffee there, but I never got the chance. We were all sitting around talking again, and I don't know how we got on the subject, but I just remember Fox saying something about furries, and I guess I sorta snapped at him. He corrected himself in saying he didn't hate furries, he just found fursuiters weird and didn't like them. Then John said, "Well, I like the ears and the tails, that's cute. It's when they wear a full fursuit they look like rejected cereal mascots." I honestly never thought of of them looking like that. Sure, some may look cheesey, but what do you want from them? Then they say their handmade and how awesome this one suit was because the mouth moved. I just felt so...angry. And I wanted to say something so badly, but I never did. I don't know why I kept my mouth shut. Maybe it's because all three of them were talking down about fursuiters. I don't know.. I wanted to talk to John about it later, but I never got around to it again. We walked Fox to the train and said our goodbyes to him. We walked Kyle towards where are cars were and parted when we reached the street John's was on.
I mean I don't feel bad as a furry. I haven't had to deal very much with the "I hate furries" or "I don't understand furries" since I don't usually run up and down the street about it. I'm a little obvious anyway since I make a lot of cat noises. Like I said, I don't really throw it in people's faces like that. Though Fox and Kyle might think I'm a furry now. I still feel like I need to talk to John about it.. I don't know why it just irks me a little. maybe because he compaired handcrafting a cosplay outfit to a fursuit that's supposively just crap.
I think we were upstairs for not even a minute. I had took my backpack up there since it had my laptop. But John never came. He was still in the living room talking to his mother about chores or something stupid like that. So I'm waiting, and bleeeeh. I don't know why it annoyed me so, it just did. When I went backstairs, John's mom was getting ready to leave. I ended up sitting on the stool that's by the island that blocks off the kitchen and living room. John was still on the couch playing with his laptop. I think that might have been part of it. John is always on the computer and it can be a little hard to catch his attention. I forget what I tried to do. I remember I was trying to give John that look running my finger across the top of his laptop. He didn't really get it though. I still have some issues with just saying what I want. Specially when I get upset. Again i went upstairs feeling a bit annoyed before getting my CD out of my laptop. I had written on it, "Nanashi Love, 15 songs." 15 isn't a bad number, I thought. When I came back downstairs, I dropped the CD about as loud as you can with a CD on the island. It caught John's attention, and asks if I'm okay. I say sure and went to the bathroom. When I came back out I sat back on the stool and finally John gets up and comes over to me. He had that concerned look on his face where he knows something is. He asks, I gave the tiniest of shrugs, he asks again, I stare up at him, he give me a hug, I cling, and when he tried to pull away, I didn't let go. He joked around and flailed as we sometimes do. I think this is when my CD caught his attention. I don't know what he was piecing together in his head, but he ended up asking me if I wanted to make a very small trip with him to a store. Of course I said sure. I thought maybe we could listen to my CD or whatever.
In the car we drove down the road to either a Wawa or 7-elven, I never really paid to much attention. I'm think we're just going there because John ran out of soda in the house. To which I was right, he got me a cherry Dr. Pepper, and I forget what he got. We go to the counter and I'm half paying attention. Then I heard John ask the clerk for some condoms. I don't know why I still feel awkward when we're getting those things. I mean, I'm not stupid, just awkward. So it becomes clear that he bought the soda so he was at least buying something else. Plus John was pretty calm. When we got back in the car I was about to blow another bubble from the gum I was chewing and he ended up kissing me. For a moment, I thought he was going to be all slick and end up taking my gum, but nwah.
Drive back to the house, go inside, I handed the soda to John to put in the fridge since I had the bag. I put the bag down and watch John whirl around the two rooms putting crap away and then grabbing his laptop. I remember walking closer to where he was standing and noticed my CD had disappeared off of the island. Now things are just crystal clear to me. John leads me upstairs and he tries to play the CD in his laptop, but for whatever reason the stupid think wouldn't work. But considering I was listening to it yesterday I just popped it in my laptop. Skipped the first song because it was New York Minute, and that can be a little sad. So what comes on next? Why it was, Somebody to Love, by Queen. John knows I love it when I hear him sing that song. It was like things were in slow motion at first and then BAM, that happened. Though it was a bit different this time. I don't talk, I really don't. More of that awkward feeling there for talking. John kept egging me on and on and on until I finally just screamed at him in the face. and as usual when that much emotion is let out, my eyes water. That and I left more marks on John. The first one was this super nasty hicky I left on his shoulder. Seriously whenever I looked at it, I can't believe I did that to his skin. The other thing was the sheer amount of scratches I left on him. Most of them were on his chest, but there were a bit on his back, and on his sides. The one side looked like I almost cut him with my nails. So yeah.. bleh. John didn't care. Afterward he took pictures of his marks with his phone. Fuck if I know what he does with it.
So after that mess, John and I were suppose to meet up some friends from D-toid and have lunch/dinner with them at this bar that's nuts about beer. Seriously they had like four pages in their menu of nothing but beer. Kyle said he was the one that picked the place, since he really loves his beer. The three of us talked for a while until Articfox and his friend finally showed. We all talked more, joked around. I think the reason Fox didn't remember me at Pax was for one my hair was longer then, and two I was ungodly shy around everyone. After the lunch thing, Fox's friend had to leave, so we all said bye to him and ended up going to this hooka bar across the street. I wanted to try the turkish coffee there, but I never got the chance. We were all sitting around talking again, and I don't know how we got on the subject, but I just remember Fox saying something about furries, and I guess I sorta snapped at him. He corrected himself in saying he didn't hate furries, he just found fursuiters weird and didn't like them. Then John said, "Well, I like the ears and the tails, that's cute. It's when they wear a full fursuit they look like rejected cereal mascots." I honestly never thought of of them looking like that. Sure, some may look cheesey, but what do you want from them? Then they say their handmade and how awesome this one suit was because the mouth moved. I just felt so...angry. And I wanted to say something so badly, but I never did. I don't know why I kept my mouth shut. Maybe it's because all three of them were talking down about fursuiters. I don't know.. I wanted to talk to John about it later, but I never got around to it again. We walked Fox to the train and said our goodbyes to him. We walked Kyle towards where are cars were and parted when we reached the street John's was on.
I mean I don't feel bad as a furry. I haven't had to deal very much with the "I hate furries" or "I don't understand furries" since I don't usually run up and down the street about it. I'm a little obvious anyway since I make a lot of cat noises. Like I said, I don't really throw it in people's faces like that. Though Fox and Kyle might think I'm a furry now. I still feel like I need to talk to John about it.. I don't know why it just irks me a little. maybe because he compaired handcrafting a cosplay outfit to a fursuit that's supposively just crap.