My New Job: Patsy
I recently got a job as a "Computer Monitor" for the Department of Fine Arts' computer lab at school. I was not interviewed, my qualifications were not checked, and come to think of it, I was never even given a list of responsibilities. I just signed up and started coming in one day.
Over the past two weeks, I have come to feel that this is the sweetest job I could ever have: I come in for a few hours a week, and get paid to do nothing. Literally nothing. I could sit here and stare at a wall for my entire "work time" and no one would care. I could just sit in the doorway making gurgling noises and giving wedgies to people who try to enter the lab and I would be accomplishing the known neccessary tasks of this job. So I browse the web, which is exactly what I would be doing at home anyway, except that I avoid all the boob sites when I'm at school.
However, it finally occured to me why I'm here. Quite simply, I'm here to be the patsy of the Fine Arts computer lab. If someone steals something, I'm not supposed to try to stop them (as far as I'm aware), I'm just supposed to take the blame. If someone sets fire to the lab, I'm going to be the one who takes the fall. If I punch someone in the face--yeah, you got it--I'm going to be responsible. I'm here for liability reasons: so that the Department doesn't get blamed if something goes wrong. Instead, Reid gets blamed.
Eh. I'm still getting paid for doing nothing. I just sleep (on the job) with one eye open now.
Woops, better wrap up. I think they discovered the rabid velociraptor running around under the desks who keeps biting off people's legs... and I'm sure they're going to want to blame Reid for that, too. Geeze, you clone one lousey theme park full of dinosaurs and... aiiiiiieeeee!
Over the past two weeks, I have come to feel that this is the sweetest job I could ever have: I come in for a few hours a week, and get paid to do nothing. Literally nothing. I could sit here and stare at a wall for my entire "work time" and no one would care. I could just sit in the doorway making gurgling noises and giving wedgies to people who try to enter the lab and I would be accomplishing the known neccessary tasks of this job. So I browse the web, which is exactly what I would be doing at home anyway, except that I avoid all the boob sites when I'm at school.
However, it finally occured to me why I'm here. Quite simply, I'm here to be the patsy of the Fine Arts computer lab. If someone steals something, I'm not supposed to try to stop them (as far as I'm aware), I'm just supposed to take the blame. If someone sets fire to the lab, I'm going to be the one who takes the fall. If I punch someone in the face--yeah, you got it--I'm going to be responsible. I'm here for liability reasons: so that the Department doesn't get blamed if something goes wrong. Instead, Reid gets blamed.
Eh. I'm still getting paid for doing nothing. I just sleep (on the job) with one eye open now.
Woops, better wrap up. I think they discovered the rabid velociraptor running around under the desks who keeps biting off people's legs... and I'm sure they're going to want to blame Reid for that, too. Geeze, you clone one lousey theme park full of dinosaurs and... aiiiiiieeeee!