Three Strikes
The old neighborhood got three strikes:
1) A dog bit me.
2) My neighbor held his parents hostage and a SWAT team had to save them.
3) A bird shat on my head.
Tonight, this neighborhood at long last gave me the third sign that it is officially time to move. The charges:
1) A burglar stole my stuff. But not the valuable stuff. Only the sentimental stuff that can't be replaced. And my Mr. Show DVDs.
2) Construction workers have been building a church 5 inches from my window for a year and a half with what Matt Gallo says can only be described as a "My First Building" kit, thus blocking out any and all sunlight/happiness.
3) Prostitutes propositioned me down the block. I've been living here for six years and that was the first time in my life I've ever seen prostitutes.
That settles it. So long, Murray Hill!
1) A dog bit me.
2) My neighbor held his parents hostage and a SWAT team had to save them.
3) A bird shat on my head.
Tonight, this neighborhood at long last gave me the third sign that it is officially time to move. The charges:
1) A burglar stole my stuff. But not the valuable stuff. Only the sentimental stuff that can't be replaced. And my Mr. Show DVDs.
2) Construction workers have been building a church 5 inches from my window for a year and a half with what Matt Gallo says can only be described as a "My First Building" kit, thus blocking out any and all sunlight/happiness.
3) Prostitutes propositioned me down the block. I've been living here for six years and that was the first time in my life I've ever seen prostitutes.
That settles it. So long, Murray Hill!