Drugs
I had my psychiatrist appointment the other day and after some talking, they decided to put me on 50mg of Zoloft daily. You guys are probably fairly familiar with their commercials with the little sad blob walking around. While I'm happy to be on meds to hopefully fix whatever is wrong with me, there are side effects and one of those is that the meds may have the opposite effect for the first week or two. I never imagined that it would be as bad as it is. I can barely concentrate on anything that needs to get done. Functioning is difficult. I had to skip classes and now work because I just don't know what to do. To better clarify how this all works, I've made a visual aid:
- Stage One is generally positive and happy. It may be from being doped up on drugs, but who cares, it's happy.
- Stage Two is when the anxiety kicks in and I become a paranoid idiot, questioning everything and not accepting that something can just be ok and leaving it at that. Stage Two is how I basically fucked up my date last night. The actual date all went fine, but then that little bastard started up and couldn't just accept that everything was fine and ruined a perfectly beautiful night.
- Stage Three is incomprehensible. Nothing makes sense, I can't let go of anything and in general, I feel like a total mess and would rather just be in a coma. Most of the day has been spent between Stage Two and Stage Three in varying degrees, hence my inability to do much of anything. And yes, that is a Giga Drill Buster to the head occurring there. I can barely draw a blob so I wasn't about to try and draw Gurren Lagann.