The End of Chapter One
I've decided that the end of the year was a great time to end this chapter of my livejournal and begin a new one since I'm going to begin a new chapter of my life as soon as I go home for the summer. If anyone is curious as to why I am doing this, there comes a time in your life where you gotta cut things out in order to move on and advance to the next level in life. Sometimes those things save you the effort and cut themselves out for you. There may be a possibilty that this is what's going on for me right now, so since things will be starting anew for me pretty soon, I've decided its time to go back finding the right path I need to be on. Those who would like to join me on my journey or hear of the stories I'll have to tell can follow me to my new LJ, kuNov2.
Let's start from the beginning, shall we?
Dre: I apologize for all the things I've said and done that may have hurt or offended you and that have caused you to feel such hatred towards me. I acknowledge your decision to not have anything to do with me and I understand why you feel the way you do... and I'm sorry we couldn't try again to be friends. Maybe I tried to hard to be a great first girlfriend for you... maybe I tried to hard to show you how to be a great boyfriend... maybe I tried to hard in alot of things... even though I have my regrets, I'm not going to hold grudges against you anymore because it seems it gets everyone nowhere. If anything, you can continue to pretend I dont exsist... and I'll continue to not exsist in your world, if that makes you happy. I hope that someday you will develop into the man that your mother always wanted you to grow up to become...
Rachel: I guess I've been a good friend to you... I really dont know. It was great meeting you on livejournal and then becoming real friends... and then our whole group of friends came about. I guess I've been a bad influence to you seeing as though I brought you to Elliot... and then those things happened... I introduced you to Evan... and things almost happened... I dont think I've been much help when you came to me for advice for certain things... and I guess I apologize for that. Even though I was there for you at the times you managed to call me for help... but I guess I still caused problems in your life. While you go on to search for your soul and get things back together in your life, I pray that things work out for the best for you and that in the end, you'll get what you've always dreamed of.
Jharel: I'm not sure if I've been a good friend to you either... I enjoyed being around you because you gave me a good laugh... and I always enjoyed your point of view on things. I wanted to be good friends with you and I wanted the best for you... in the end I messed up by giving a drunken dare that caused major emotions to fly and I guess more problems in your life since it was difficult to deal with since that person didnt share those same feelings. I expected you to dislike me for it, and I'm grateful that you at least seemed like you didnt. I thank you for helping me out at random times that I least expected it (such as paying for me to enter the fighting game tournament and helping me get better at Yu-Gi-Oh), and I pray that things work out well for you as well in the future.
Victor: My little big brother... I love you lots because even though we aren't as close as I would like for us to be (yet), you still give me motivation for things, even if its something simple like "You better play DDR tonight... you WILL get better!". I appreciate your support in things like that, and I appreciate you "not being in that drama" that everyone has with me that I'm not exactly sure what it is. I also give the same apology for my drunken dare that sparked a few problems in your direction too, but I thank you for not depising me for it. I'm also glad that when I came to visit you and Junior the other day to help out, I'm glad that you were listening and that things got better that night. I hope that you and I stay good friends and that things work well with you and your loved one.
Jose: I thought you and I would become cool friends like you and CJ are, but unfortunately that didnt work out for one reason or another. I'm not sure what beef you have/had against me now/then, but whatever it is, I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. It would still be great to help you out with the development of ShotoKon (or whatever you plan to call the convention if you get it to happen at the Koury Convention Center) and it would still be great to help out with the all the meetups and cosplay events you plan to do at cons... but if I'm still not a person you want to associate yourself with, then that's fine too. I hope things will run smoothly for you during your semester off.
Evan: I also dont know what beef you have against me, but I'm sorry that I made you feel that way too. Back when I first met you during the first week of school, I thought you were a cool person because I could definately become an otaku again with your anime library. I saw some great movies that I probably would have never seen in your room... and chillin with you back then was fun too. When I introduced you to the group, I was glad they accepted you and I hoped that we'd be cool chillin again... but that seemed to not happen. It's ok though... I'm sure you have your reasons. You continue to have fun with your friends.
Jon: I wish I had tried to talk to you sooner... you are one of the coolest people I've ever met! I feel as though you could be a brother to me just like Vic because those few times that I needed someone to talk to and I randomly IMed you, you listened to me and helped me feel better. I'm saddened that you have to leave A&T, but I hope that we can still build on a friendship online and maybe see you around if you ever visit Greensboro again.
Jacques: I dont know you that well, but I know you know some things about me due to the fact that you are around everyone else... so I know your opinion of me is only influenced by what they say about me, and not of knowing me for yourself. That's fine, because that's human nature I suppose. I hope you and Rachel find happiness someday... since I know both of you want it. Maybe someday we can be cool due to my affilation to Lamba Chi as part of "Team Girlfriend".
CJ: Only GOD knows how much you mean to me and how much I love you... last night when you were half asleep we had brief conversations about alot of serious things like what I'm doing with my life now and how our love will prevail so there isnt much of a need to say it here... but I want you to know that I will keep my promise... I will be strong... if not for myself, then I'll be strong for you. We both have our plans of what we both need to take care of to reach our ultimate goal which is a happy and successful life for us together and if we stay focused, I believe we can make it. No, I KNOW we're going to make it! My love for you is too strong for anything to stop me from doing so... I will walk THROUGH every last mountain that stands in the way of me being happy with you for the rest of my life. I thank you for always being there for me no matter the situation... and I love you for never letting go of me, even when I pull my hardest. I can't wait for us to get out of school, land our dream jobs, find a wonderful home and start a family... because I already know that dream will come true. I love you CJ... more than you'll ever know. *wipes tear*
Everyone else on my friend's list: I'm sure you have no idea why I just wrote all of this to people you dont know, but you guys are important to me as well. Billy, you are awesome... I still want to chill with you some more and be as good as you in DDR. Chris, we didnt get to speak to each other very often, but you are a great guy... you really are. I still want us to be friends :). All others, I found you guys through the LJ search and you seemed interesting... or you came from eVo. I thank you all for reading my livejournal and supporting me when you felt like it.
Woo. Tangent.
Keep in mind that I am not cutting off any friendships or relationships... this is just what I want you guys to know as I close this chapter and enter a new one... so I can have everything said and done before starting with a clean slate. If anything, I can promise you guys that I wont be "getting involved" or "causing problems" anymore because I'm going to take the approach of Ture, Meeks, CJ, Rob, and Maurice: not caring unless I'm needed to care. I have love for you all... and I hope we can continue being friends if possible and improve on things to make our friendships better.