living on a beach
Well. I guess this entry was due eventually, y'know? It's Friday and I was discharged on Monday, so I really should update this myself and fill in you guys with what's going on (if you're interested).
First off, a quick thanks to Michelle - both for being trustworthy enough so that I could give her my UN and password, and for updating my LJ so that everyone knew what was going on. AND for adding Wikipedia links. Jesus, does that girl cover all the bases or what? Oy. But thanks. And don't worry, there'll be more thanks at the end of this entry.
I think the entry before this pretty much summed up what was going on. Basically, I was in the hospital for 9 days, while they tried to thin my blood enough to both dissolve the clot and thin it so that the clot would get moving. They funny thing is that they first used IV Heparin, THEN they switched to 10mg Cumadin, which I am told is a RIDICULOUSLY high dose, and on TOP of that, every twelve hours they came in and had to give me a shot of Lovimax on the stomach. So now my stomach is like, black and yellow.
What does this all mean? Basically, I had one HELL OF A CLOT.
And the fact that it passed through my heart and then for some reason got stuck in my lung...I don't know if I'm supposed to thank a higher power or a guardian angel here, but Jesus, I should be dead. It still boggles my mind. And a death scare like that really freaks you out, you know? You realize that you can't take life for granted. Anyway, they wanted my "INR" (my Cumadin level) to be between 2 and 3. Monday I hit 2.7 and I was IZZOUTA there. Tamara, my resident doctor came in, discharged me, I got my IVs taken out, my mom showed up, I took a shower, and boom, I was OUT.
Which was good, because I had a doctor's appointment at 2:15 and we headed over there. The walking killed me. And the funny thing is, and all hospitals do this - for 9 days, they were pumping IV shots of Dilaudid, a pretty strong painkiller, right into my veins. And then they stopped. And said bye! I've been through withdrawl. YOu can't keep a guy on Dilaudid for 9 days and then just STOP and not wean him off. So I'm in the doctor's office freezing, hotflashes, throwing up, shaking, etc. etc. etc. and she's like "I don't get why they do this..." so she wrote me for my usual Ks, a prescription of oral dilaudid (which, BTW, did NOTHING TO THE PAIN. I took TEN AT A TIME. Which is 20 mg of Dilaudid. That'd probably KILL anyone reading this who hasn't done drugs.) And all was good.
So basically I also have slightly high cholesterol, and because of my pacific islander heritage, (GUAM4LIFE, nigga) I have a fatty liver. That...kinda stays there, but it doesn't matter because I don't drink. So now I've changed my life to all low-fat, no-fat, no-sugar, no-trans-fatty-acids, no this no that no fun ANYTHING. So my food life now sucks. Feh. I also have to do rehab with one of those things where you blow in the tube and make the ball hover in midair? Yeah, gotta do that to stretch my lungs. AND I have to walk with a cane because it helps my right side now hurt. But it's cool, 'cause it looks like the cane house has on the show House MD on Fox, SO YEAH.
Here are some pics I took for you guys. I'm not LJ cutting them because you MUST LOOK. If you think I'm attractive and don't want to spoil the image, don't look at the first two. Heh, wait, I'm sorry, no one thinks I'm attractive. PEEK AWAY!
These first two are of me in my actual hospital room, the first night I was really there. As you can see, I was in really bad shape and hooked up to -everything-. I don't remember this or the first like, three days. My mom took these.
These next ones are after I -was- coherent, and I asked my mom to take photos of my IV. I mean, come on. You can do ANYTHING with photos of IVs. They're so fucking cool.
The last image here is on the day of my discharge. I'm posing with Chris, who was my nurse the first few days, and who really, really helped me out and made it easy on me, because I was in so much pain. He was never late with my meds, always there if I needed help - totally professional and easily the best nurse I had. Plus he was a good friend.
(Sorry, Michelle, I didn't get any shots of Tamara, though I would've luuuuuuved to :P)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So basically, life after the hospital is this:
* Getting up and out of bed in the morning takes me 20 minutes
* I take...I forget how many pills I take
* I have to retrain my lungs on how to breathe with 3/4 of their ability
* I have to walk with a cane (but a cane like HOUSE USES!) for a while
* I can't really walk far without having to stop and take breaks
* If the air outside is below 32, I can't go out, or my lungs start spasming
* And I have to live with this goddamn pain, this pleuritis, for anywhere from 2 to 3 to god knows how many months.
* Not to mention that my whole diet is now "low-fat" and "fat-free" and "no trans-fatty-acids" and "no this" and "no that" and "no salt" and "no sugar" and somehow I have to work my hypoglycemia into this...oy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BIG THANKS PARAGRAPH!!!!!~~11`1
This is in NO particular order, so don't fucking come crying to me if you're shelved after someone I've known for two weeks. Shut up. And by the way, if I forgot someone? The first four days of my stay I have NO MEMORY OF. So if yo ucalled, I'm sorry. It's in the netherspace of what we call "being fucked up on a lot of IV drugs".
This is gonna be big, so it's on LJ CUT NGIGGGGGGA!!!!
Now:
Obviously, my mother, for keeping tabs on everything for me, and for helping me make a very, very important decision that would've either let me get out when I did, or if I had gone with it, I'd still be in the hospital now. her coming down and being a presence there with me against the 12 Doctors who wanted to cut open my neck and biopsy several lymph nodes really helped me in telling them basically to fuck off, I want to go home. Not in those words, of course.
Paul, for showing up at the ER, especially after I got out of the MRI, and just killing time watching SNL with me at 3 in the morning on a Saturday when he didn't have to do that at all. He's a great guy and he broke the news to my mother well.
Terri! Of course you know why I'm thanking you, for the phone call and the e-mail, and for knowing that you're hoping I'm okay. And don't worry, I am. I'll see you soon.
Ms. KERRY MCCORMICK. mccormack? I don't know how to spell your last name, but I appreciate all the convos with Michelle and stuff to find out where I was. I'll call you soon.
Mike Murphy - even though we don't really talk much, dude, you really caught me by surprise with the IM and the well wishes - it showed me that you're more of an adult than the rest of the people we grew up with. I really valued that conversation, and it was really important to me. Thanks for giving me a big more of a boost.
Helene - Will you come the fuck back already so we can hang out? I mean, come on, dude, like, WTF. Thanks for the comment, but it should've said "oh and ps. pat. i'll be back....TOMORROW." nigger.
My aunt, who'll probably never see this, who works down at a hospital in Miami - thanks for giving me countless bits of advice and telling me what to do and when, and how to take care of things. I'm glad to see that this is helping mend our relationship.
Ari - I don't have to say anything to you, colostomy bag. You know I love you. And I'm glad I'm still alive to. Just forgive me for not writing you those e-mails, oka y? I was in the process of potentially dying. Thanks. :P
Kristen, for worrying about me even all the way over in Japan, and for even having her MOTHER (?!?!!?) worry about me?! That's amazing. I'm damn near well flattered. Thank you.
Gloria. You know I don't have to say anything. You're Gloria. You rock.
Addison - what do I even have to say? It's not just this, although I appreciate you allowing me to tell you the ENTIRE lengthy story with pictures, but it's everything, you encouraging me to do this, or that, or whatever, or whenever. I've told you a million times before that without your presence around, I don't think I'd be following my spark, which is music. And that can't be thanked enough.
Mark - same goes for you. It was the desire to want to work on music, and do experimental shit with you, and just tear the house down with some new shit, and work on FOTW tracks, and have you look them over, that helped me last 9 days in that fucking room, on that bed, not even able to get up and go to the bathroom until the last two days. Thank you.
Chris - And as for you - there's been no one else around who I can talk to about anything at anytime, anywhere - a nd I've never known anyone who's had as many ridiculously incredible stories to tell. I'm glad I'm around to hear them - and I promise, I'll fill you in on the full hospital details.
Rob - For coming to the Emergency Room that Saturday night with Michelle, even though you didn't have to. It was really cool of you to do that, and while I'm absolutely appalled that you saw me looking like that, and I'm sorry I wasn't much fun, very funny or witty, it still means a lot to me that you showed up. I won't forget it.
The two brothers at the Midtown diner at 11th and Sansom across from the Gibbons building, cardiac floor, who hooked me up w/milkshakes like, every night at like, a discounted price - you guys fucking ROCK. I LOVE YOU. Your diner is now where I'm going forever and ever and ever. Even if I move to New York I'll STILL make trips down to the midtown. Thanks.
Colure - I had heard a lot of great things about you from Michelle, and when we started talking on AIM, it was like, BAM videogame conversation! and I'm like OMG THIS GIRL RULEZ KINGDOM HEARTS II 4 LIFE and then, you're actually taking time out of your schedule to set a healthy diet up for me, or at least a mockup of one, that I can follow from here on out to help with my cholesterol. Like I told Michelle, you are the SWEETEST DAMN GIRL I HAVE EVER MET IN MY -LIFE-. I hope you end up having a perfect life that fufills everything you've ever wanted, because you deserve it, Colure. You amaze me and I've only talked to you once. How's that?
And finally...
Michelle. I'm not going to put much here because we've already shared a lot online and whatnot and a lot of it is private. But the fact that you came to the ER to see me, the fact that you called me at the hospital and then handled my LJ and questions people had...I can never thank you for how you came through for me here. It's beyond a simple "thank you". I'll never be able to repay you. Just know that I'd do the same for you. I don't even know what to write here, words are useless. thank you a billion, and get the pudding pops out of the freezer. <3
And that ends the big thank you thingie.
Anyway, I'm going back to:
* rest
* work on score
* play god of war
* dance to 4 by 4
* max out the high score
* get yer lady on the floor
* make it dirtier than before
* take her back 'n lock tha door
* keep her going 'til she ain't no more
* exit, bow and run out to my Ford
* drive and drive 'til i can't drive no mo
The end.
I'm glad to be back. It's going to take me a while (read a LONG while) to get better though so please pardon if I'm really slow or if you see me and I look like shit or if you call me and I sound like shit. Because I feel like shit.
Thanks again, everyone.
First off, a quick thanks to Michelle - both for being trustworthy enough so that I could give her my UN and password, and for updating my LJ so that everyone knew what was going on. AND for adding Wikipedia links. Jesus, does that girl cover all the bases or what? Oy. But thanks. And don't worry, there'll be more thanks at the end of this entry.
I think the entry before this pretty much summed up what was going on. Basically, I was in the hospital for 9 days, while they tried to thin my blood enough to both dissolve the clot and thin it so that the clot would get moving. They funny thing is that they first used IV Heparin, THEN they switched to 10mg Cumadin, which I am told is a RIDICULOUSLY high dose, and on TOP of that, every twelve hours they came in and had to give me a shot of Lovimax on the stomach. So now my stomach is like, black and yellow.
What does this all mean? Basically, I had one HELL OF A CLOT.
And the fact that it passed through my heart and then for some reason got stuck in my lung...I don't know if I'm supposed to thank a higher power or a guardian angel here, but Jesus, I should be dead. It still boggles my mind. And a death scare like that really freaks you out, you know? You realize that you can't take life for granted. Anyway, they wanted my "INR" (my Cumadin level) to be between 2 and 3. Monday I hit 2.7 and I was IZZOUTA there. Tamara, my resident doctor came in, discharged me, I got my IVs taken out, my mom showed up, I took a shower, and boom, I was OUT.
Which was good, because I had a doctor's appointment at 2:15 and we headed over there. The walking killed me. And the funny thing is, and all hospitals do this - for 9 days, they were pumping IV shots of Dilaudid, a pretty strong painkiller, right into my veins. And then they stopped. And said bye! I've been through withdrawl. YOu can't keep a guy on Dilaudid for 9 days and then just STOP and not wean him off. So I'm in the doctor's office freezing, hotflashes, throwing up, shaking, etc. etc. etc. and she's like "I don't get why they do this..." so she wrote me for my usual Ks, a prescription of oral dilaudid (which, BTW, did NOTHING TO THE PAIN. I took TEN AT A TIME. Which is 20 mg of Dilaudid. That'd probably KILL anyone reading this who hasn't done drugs.) And all was good.
So basically I also have slightly high cholesterol, and because of my pacific islander heritage, (GUAM4LIFE, nigga) I have a fatty liver. That...kinda stays there, but it doesn't matter because I don't drink. So now I've changed my life to all low-fat, no-fat, no-sugar, no-trans-fatty-acids, no this no that no fun ANYTHING. So my food life now sucks. Feh. I also have to do rehab with one of those things where you blow in the tube and make the ball hover in midair? Yeah, gotta do that to stretch my lungs. AND I have to walk with a cane because it helps my right side now hurt. But it's cool, 'cause it looks like the cane house has on the show House MD on Fox, SO YEAH.
Here are some pics I took for you guys. I'm not LJ cutting them because you MUST LOOK. If you think I'm attractive and don't want to spoil the image, don't look at the first two. Heh, wait, I'm sorry, no one thinks I'm attractive. PEEK AWAY!
These first two are of me in my actual hospital room, the first night I was really there. As you can see, I was in really bad shape and hooked up to -everything-. I don't remember this or the first like, three days. My mom took these.
These next ones are after I -was- coherent, and I asked my mom to take photos of my IV. I mean, come on. You can do ANYTHING with photos of IVs. They're so fucking cool.
The last image here is on the day of my discharge. I'm posing with Chris, who was my nurse the first few days, and who really, really helped me out and made it easy on me, because I was in so much pain. He was never late with my meds, always there if I needed help - totally professional and easily the best nurse I had. Plus he was a good friend.
(Sorry, Michelle, I didn't get any shots of Tamara, though I would've luuuuuuved to :P)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So basically, life after the hospital is this:
* Getting up and out of bed in the morning takes me 20 minutes
* I take...I forget how many pills I take
* I have to retrain my lungs on how to breathe with 3/4 of their ability
* I have to walk with a cane (but a cane like HOUSE USES!) for a while
* I can't really walk far without having to stop and take breaks
* If the air outside is below 32, I can't go out, or my lungs start spasming
* And I have to live with this goddamn pain, this pleuritis, for anywhere from 2 to 3 to god knows how many months.
* Not to mention that my whole diet is now "low-fat" and "fat-free" and "no trans-fatty-acids" and "no this" and "no that" and "no salt" and "no sugar" and somehow I have to work my hypoglycemia into this...oy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BIG THANKS PARAGRAPH!!!!!~~11`1
This is in NO particular order, so don't fucking come crying to me if you're shelved after someone I've known for two weeks. Shut up. And by the way, if I forgot someone? The first four days of my stay I have NO MEMORY OF. So if yo ucalled, I'm sorry. It's in the netherspace of what we call "being fucked up on a lot of IV drugs".
This is gonna be big, so it's on LJ CUT NGIGGGGGGA!!!!
Now:
Obviously, my mother, for keeping tabs on everything for me, and for helping me make a very, very important decision that would've either let me get out when I did, or if I had gone with it, I'd still be in the hospital now. her coming down and being a presence there with me against the 12 Doctors who wanted to cut open my neck and biopsy several lymph nodes really helped me in telling them basically to fuck off, I want to go home. Not in those words, of course.
Paul, for showing up at the ER, especially after I got out of the MRI, and just killing time watching SNL with me at 3 in the morning on a Saturday when he didn't have to do that at all. He's a great guy and he broke the news to my mother well.
Terri! Of course you know why I'm thanking you, for the phone call and the e-mail, and for knowing that you're hoping I'm okay. And don't worry, I am. I'll see you soon.
Ms. KERRY MCCORMICK. mccormack? I don't know how to spell your last name, but I appreciate all the convos with Michelle and stuff to find out where I was. I'll call you soon.
Mike Murphy - even though we don't really talk much, dude, you really caught me by surprise with the IM and the well wishes - it showed me that you're more of an adult than the rest of the people we grew up with. I really valued that conversation, and it was really important to me. Thanks for giving me a big more of a boost.
Helene - Will you come the fuck back already so we can hang out? I mean, come on, dude, like, WTF. Thanks for the comment, but it should've said "oh and ps. pat. i'll be back....TOMORROW." nigger.
My aunt, who'll probably never see this, who works down at a hospital in Miami - thanks for giving me countless bits of advice and telling me what to do and when, and how to take care of things. I'm glad to see that this is helping mend our relationship.
Ari - I don't have to say anything to you, colostomy bag. You know I love you. And I'm glad I'm still alive to. Just forgive me for not writing you those e-mails, oka y? I was in the process of potentially dying. Thanks. :P
Kristen, for worrying about me even all the way over in Japan, and for even having her MOTHER (?!?!!?) worry about me?! That's amazing. I'm damn near well flattered. Thank you.
Gloria. You know I don't have to say anything. You're Gloria. You rock.
Addison - what do I even have to say? It's not just this, although I appreciate you allowing me to tell you the ENTIRE lengthy story with pictures, but it's everything, you encouraging me to do this, or that, or whatever, or whenever. I've told you a million times before that without your presence around, I don't think I'd be following my spark, which is music. And that can't be thanked enough.
Mark - same goes for you. It was the desire to want to work on music, and do experimental shit with you, and just tear the house down with some new shit, and work on FOTW tracks, and have you look them over, that helped me last 9 days in that fucking room, on that bed, not even able to get up and go to the bathroom until the last two days. Thank you.
Chris - And as for you - there's been no one else around who I can talk to about anything at anytime, anywhere - a nd I've never known anyone who's had as many ridiculously incredible stories to tell. I'm glad I'm around to hear them - and I promise, I'll fill you in on the full hospital details.
Rob - For coming to the Emergency Room that Saturday night with Michelle, even though you didn't have to. It was really cool of you to do that, and while I'm absolutely appalled that you saw me looking like that, and I'm sorry I wasn't much fun, very funny or witty, it still means a lot to me that you showed up. I won't forget it.
The two brothers at the Midtown diner at 11th and Sansom across from the Gibbons building, cardiac floor, who hooked me up w/milkshakes like, every night at like, a discounted price - you guys fucking ROCK. I LOVE YOU. Your diner is now where I'm going forever and ever and ever. Even if I move to New York I'll STILL make trips down to the midtown. Thanks.
Colure - I had heard a lot of great things about you from Michelle, and when we started talking on AIM, it was like, BAM videogame conversation! and I'm like OMG THIS GIRL RULEZ KINGDOM HEARTS II 4 LIFE and then, you're actually taking time out of your schedule to set a healthy diet up for me, or at least a mockup of one, that I can follow from here on out to help with my cholesterol. Like I told Michelle, you are the SWEETEST DAMN GIRL I HAVE EVER MET IN MY -LIFE-. I hope you end up having a perfect life that fufills everything you've ever wanted, because you deserve it, Colure. You amaze me and I've only talked to you once. How's that?
And finally...
Michelle. I'm not going to put much here because we've already shared a lot online and whatnot and a lot of it is private. But the fact that you came to the ER to see me, the fact that you called me at the hospital and then handled my LJ and questions people had...I can never thank you for how you came through for me here. It's beyond a simple "thank you". I'll never be able to repay you. Just know that I'd do the same for you. I don't even know what to write here, words are useless. thank you a billion, and get the pudding pops out of the freezer. <3
And that ends the big thank you thingie.
Anyway, I'm going back to:
* rest
* work on score
* play god of war
* dance to 4 by 4
* max out the high score
* get yer lady on the floor
* make it dirtier than before
* take her back 'n lock tha door
* keep her going 'til she ain't no more
* exit, bow and run out to my Ford
* drive and drive 'til i can't drive no mo
The end.
I'm glad to be back. It's going to take me a while (read a LONG while) to get better though so please pardon if I'm really slow or if you see me and I look like shit or if you call me and I sound like shit. Because I feel like shit.
Thanks again, everyone.