(no subject)
hey guys its me again!!! i know its been really obscenely long since i wrote .....and leah informed me that if it didn't write soon id get a serious ass beating so here i am....oh yeah by the way a big thanks goes to leah for getting my pic up =) i was hanging out at her house tonight spilling my probs. all over her again....so i wanna give another big thanks to her for just being there and letting me do so.. so anyhow lets see..... a lot has changed in my life recently..... the biggest being me and chris.....you know sometimes you don't realize you need a change until it happens.... i always thought it was guys who were comfortable stuck in ruts but i recently learned it goes for women too.... me and chris have been together for 5 years we have a beautiful daughter together and both have steady jobs..... we fight occasionally sometimes really bad... but its really inproved over the years..... i mean the way we fight... but most of it is from stress aka money.....that is the root of all evil.....of course we fought about other things but most can be traced back to money.....
we split up about a month ago i'm living at my dads and were both sharing custody of miss haley.... at first i was like tramatised.... i didnt realise things were so bad...and yes i left but i wanted more than anything to come home and go back to my rut...my safe warm comfortable rut...i didn't understand why he didn't wanna marry me all of a sudden....i didn't know why he seemed so cold, i kept thinking it was someone else....but as time went on i realised that the rut i was in was not productive chris wanted our life to be so much more...so i am thankful for that....chris did a really good job of building us up from nothing to having what we had.....a home with fruniture a car.... haleys so spoiled you wouldn't believe it..... i was even able to not work most of the time i was pregnant and for a whole year after she was born...which is a luxury most young mothers rarely recieve....and for that iwill always be grateful....
but what i hadn;t realized was that we were indeed stuck....we couldn't go any further.....and a mix of that stress and all the other little problems with our realitonship added up to this seperation i still love him and always will.... we want for it to work out hes going to really start saving and i'm going to go back to school.....its so funny how sometimes you have to move backward one space to move ahead 2 more.....and how sometimes just living gets in the way of your actual life.....as much as it hurts and how had it is i think it will be good for us...i wish i knew for sure that things are going to work out great and we will end up back together but ther is no guarentee in lovewe do have other problems to sort outthose i will not get into but i just have one question is it possible for two people to love each other and no other but not be able to make things ultimatly work???????????
so here i am trying to rebuild my life.... i took up yoga.. i think that is going to help me out a lot... it teaches acceptance... tranquillity, balance, strength, confidence, and ultimatly enlightenment. i've dabbed into chanting a little...haven't been to a sivananda (meditating chanting) class yet but i'm looking foward to next week....i basically have been working on one single chant to clear my mind "om namah shivya" while in meditation...it deff helps me focus. .
as for my poetry...i'll write more next time...i'm sleepy ..
-Meg
we split up about a month ago i'm living at my dads and were both sharing custody of miss haley.... at first i was like tramatised.... i didnt realise things were so bad...and yes i left but i wanted more than anything to come home and go back to my rut...my safe warm comfortable rut...i didn't understand why he didn't wanna marry me all of a sudden....i didn't know why he seemed so cold, i kept thinking it was someone else....but as time went on i realised that the rut i was in was not productive chris wanted our life to be so much more...so i am thankful for that....chris did a really good job of building us up from nothing to having what we had.....a home with fruniture a car.... haleys so spoiled you wouldn't believe it..... i was even able to not work most of the time i was pregnant and for a whole year after she was born...which is a luxury most young mothers rarely recieve....and for that iwill always be grateful....
but what i hadn;t realized was that we were indeed stuck....we couldn't go any further.....and a mix of that stress and all the other little problems with our realitonship added up to this seperation i still love him and always will.... we want for it to work out hes going to really start saving and i'm going to go back to school.....its so funny how sometimes you have to move backward one space to move ahead 2 more.....and how sometimes just living gets in the way of your actual life.....as much as it hurts and how had it is i think it will be good for us...i wish i knew for sure that things are going to work out great and we will end up back together but ther is no guarentee in lovewe do have other problems to sort outthose i will not get into but i just have one question is it possible for two people to love each other and no other but not be able to make things ultimatly work???????????
so here i am trying to rebuild my life.... i took up yoga.. i think that is going to help me out a lot... it teaches acceptance... tranquillity, balance, strength, confidence, and ultimatly enlightenment. i've dabbed into chanting a little...haven't been to a sivananda (meditating chanting) class yet but i'm looking foward to next week....i basically have been working on one single chant to clear my mind "om namah shivya" while in meditation...it deff helps me focus. .
as for my poetry...i'll write more next time...i'm sleepy ..
-Meg