well.
My mom died last night.
I still don't really know if it's sunk in. I mean, I've been doing all the business shit today, all day, and yet, it hasn't clicked. She died in her sleep, likely pill related. We had a power outage for days, and so she was holed up in her room in the bed, and even though I checked on her several times, it apparently wasn't enough.
Meridan's been great, everyone is great. My dad is really upset, even though they've been divorced for years now. Ari is okay, but he's internalizing a bunch of it.
She had a rough life, but she was a wonderful person. And I have plenty of fantastic memories which I'm using to blot out the bad ones. We all tried to help her, but the demons proved far too strong, and there are some comforts.
I will always feel her with me. Always. She'll always be that voice in my head giving me advice or telling me how smart or talented I am. And we had many great years together.
But, in the end... it's all shit. You know? It's shit, and my life will never be the same. I grieved her long ago, but I can't help but do it now as well.
I still don't really know if it's sunk in. I mean, I've been doing all the business shit today, all day, and yet, it hasn't clicked. She died in her sleep, likely pill related. We had a power outage for days, and so she was holed up in her room in the bed, and even though I checked on her several times, it apparently wasn't enough.
Meridan's been great, everyone is great. My dad is really upset, even though they've been divorced for years now. Ari is okay, but he's internalizing a bunch of it.
She had a rough life, but she was a wonderful person. And I have plenty of fantastic memories which I'm using to blot out the bad ones. We all tried to help her, but the demons proved far too strong, and there are some comforts.
I will always feel her with me. Always. She'll always be that voice in my head giving me advice or telling me how smart or talented I am. And we had many great years together.
But, in the end... it's all shit. You know? It's shit, and my life will never be the same. I grieved her long ago, but I can't help but do it now as well.